Shifting Gears

Things happened so fast.

A few days ago, I was doing election lawyering in a sleepy rural town and now, I have already submitted one pending application to study in Australia to obtain an LLM. In fact, the written documentation which I was required to submit after accomplishing the application form online (and paying an application fee of 50 Australian dollar) are already inside a properly labeled envelope, ready for mailing tomorrow. I will do the mailing myself so as to check what is the most expeditios and yet economical means to send these documents. Good thing I've kept all my academic records in order so I did not have to turn over my entire room just to look for them. See previous blog.

After I drop by the friendly neighborhood post office, I will walk a few meters to where the British Council is to register for the June 16, 2007 IELTS exam. Just to take that exam, I have to shell out more than 8,000 pesos (Ouch! There goes part of my election lawyering fees.)! I find it ridiculous that I have to take that exam just to prove my English proficiency when I know that I CAN clearly express myself in English. What is more ridiculous is I can even write better English that I can in Filipino.

I am overwhelmed. Now I have something to look forward to in three week's time. If I get an offer from this school, that is my passport to being able to submit an application to get a scholarship cause without that scholarship, I really could not afford to study in Australia. Meantime, I will take that IELTS exam, get the results in 10 days (I hope they keep to that schedule!), take care of my essays, get the referree reports, and submit my application to the two target scholarships online and make the July 31, 2007. and I thought the only thing I'll look forward to in July 2007 is Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows!

Let me catch my breath. This is gonna be big.

Cold

Sometimes, I think dementors are real. It has been unusually cold the past few days - for a day in May that is, and I start to think of warm cups of liquid and soft-sweet baked goodies to make me feel, well, warm. The thing is, one thought after the other, I couldn't point to that one (or two) thing/s that can make we enjoy having to warm myself in this cool weather. Is it a cup of milk tea along with a serving of coffee bun at Kopi Roti? Not. Or probably a tall glass of Chai Tea Latte or Moroccan Latte with a plate of fresh, delicious salad from Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf? I don't think so. How about a cup of Seattle's Best Cafe Mocha, piping hot and yummy looking with that chocolate stick resting on its brim? Hmn... not today. Could it be another cup of - this is not exactly warm - Fruits in Ice Cream in choco mint with bits of berries? I just had that last Saturday, not craving for it much right now. On any other day, an offer to have any of these comfort foodies would spur me to run in that direction. But now, I don't really know what I want. To be wrapped in a bundle of thick and warm comforter perhaps? A call from a friend?

Indelible: Chronicles of my Election Adventures - Part Two

But if TV series have books 1 and 2, my abruptly abbreviated election lawyering got a reprive when, at nearly midnight of May 16, a Wednesday, while I was leisurely chatting with a friend on the phone, another friend sent me a text message asking for reinforcements for the canvassing of votes in a municipality in a province in Luzon which is under COMELEC control (read: election hotspot). Without batting an eyelash, I said yes and even volunteered another friend who was also part of my original legal team for my candidate friend. In a few hours, on May 17, I packed my bags and trooped to the hotspot. Work started at 8am and the day ended at 11:30pm. It was grueling and contrary to earlier representations of our friends whom we relieved, the canvassing of the remaining 30 election returns wouldn't be a breeze and as it turned out, it would be our task to exclude a couple of questionable election returns, thus causing delay in the canvassing. While being at the receiving end of hurls and accusations of employing "dilatory tactics" (read: delaying unreasonably the canvassing), and after engaging in exhausting verbal tussles with the chairman of the BOC and the opposing counsels, inside a room where a few feet away are armalite-toting soldiers, the canvassing was successfully railroaded by the Chairman of the BOC towards the end. We argued, we pleaded, I even played good cop to no avail. We retreated back to our candidate's headquarters, but not without wading our way through dozens of soldiers and members of the anti-riot squad. Our candidate lost by a mere 21 votes.

I didn't know how lucrative election practice is until I actually accepted an engagement. Well, even if I had known, I would still have rendered legal service to my friend for free nonetheless. In the case of my second candidate for this election, I felt that I had to bleed myself dry for every peso I earned. And in fact, the money that was paid to us literally came from each and every grain of rice sold at our client's store for the day. It was back-breaking, emotionally excruiciating and morally challenging. Probably one of the remarkable events of the day was when the villified Chairman earnestly told me, during recess, "maiipit ako" in response to my pleas for him to simply follow the rules set forth in the COMELEC resolution, after admitting that I was right about the rules I was citing. Imagine, what he was really telling me was he knows we are in the right in insisting on a certain rule but he cannot follow the COMELEC rule because "maiipit" sya? And the naive me even asked him why. Later on, my candidate's campaign manager pointed out that during the canvassing, the goons of the incumbent mayor, against whom our candidate is up against, were already inside the small canvassing area, apparently intimidating the Chairman.

It again broke my heart to realize that in order to be successful in protecting my client's interest during canvassing against cheating, there is no other way but to question the integrity of the BEI - the teachers. My heart goes out for them and in this particular case, specifically for the teacher who, when called by the BOC to explain, I was able to make her admit that she wrongfully opened the ballot box after counting but before reaching the premises of the reception and custody group inside the municipal hall. I know that no matter how much I apologize for it, as in fact I couldn't even do that, she would not understand that I was just doing my job, that it wasn't personal. A friend pointed out, and he is so right - nothing is not personal during elections - everything is.

And so I survived the 2007 elections. After my friend lost and conceded, I told his other friend that, seeing how elections was actually conducted in the Philippines and finding out what winning entails - it was like waking up from a dream. He has long been awake, he told me. As for my actual experience at canvassing, it was like a nightmare - and the ghosts were all inside me. If there was something which brought out the worst in me, morally that is, it was this experience. I wouldn't dismiss it as unnecessary or something I actually regret - it was enlightening, it was like passing through fire, it made me open my eyes to a lot of things about the world, Philippine politics in particular, and about myself. I gained new friends and rediscovered the value of the friends that I have.

Indeed, I will be more ready next time.

Indelible: Chronicles of my Election Adventures

For the 5th time in my life, I voted in the 2007 senatorial and local elections. Since registering as a voter in 1994, I haven't missed exercising my right to vote. (Come to think of it, I have actually voted seven times because I did vote in the barangay elections in 2002 as well as the recall elections in Caloocan...)

This time was different altogether because I made a decision to help my friend who is running for the position of congressman in our district. As early as last year, I was already giving him advice on election related matters and this went on until the early part of the year - from the details that he should include in his certificate of candidacy, to the correct size of his campaign posters. For several months before the elections, I would carry around with me my compilation of election reading materials - the law, the handy outlines and the current resolutions of the Commission on Elections, ready to answer my candidate's questions anytime. Not only that, I asked around for help from friends who have done actual election work (as I had never actually done it since I was not yet a lawyer in 2001, and I was a government employee in 2004). Some friends we indifferent but I did found friends who were so eager and willing to help - thank God for them. I met with my candidate's other legal adviser-friends and shortly organized a legal team. I was pointed to his campaign coordinators and I quickly started working with them. I learned how many registered voters were there in our district, the number of voting centers (the schools), the number of barangays, and the number of precincts (classrooms where the voters actually vote).

My candidate had five opponents, though later on we found out that there is a sixth candidate who used to be a friend of my candidate who had an ax to grind against him. It was rumored that he was paid to file his certificate of candidacy and that there were plans to have him substituted by someone who had the same surname as my candidate, ala Alan Peter Cayetano and Joselito "Peter" Cayetano. Under Philippine election laws, a candidate may withdraw and be substituted by another candidate after filing his certificate of candidacy so long as the substitute is nominated by the same political party. No surprise that the sixth candidate was nominated by that prominent political party in the 80s notorious for its "new sense" candidates. The Comelec actually stated in its resolution that as far as the May 14, 2007 elections is concerned, substitution due to withdrawal should be done not later than May 7, 2007. Thankfully, that day came and ended without any substitution. It was also a relief that the campaign between and among the 5 serious candidates was not characterized by mudslinging and black propaganda, relatively that is. There was an instance when my candidate was rumored to have withdrawn from the campaign but the other candidates were also not spared from such misinformation drive.

The election week came. I spent the weekend before that excited as I have never been excited the past couple of years (other than occasional lovelife related excitements, of course). As my candidate had limited financial resources for his campaign, he was not able to maximize fielding watchers for each and every polling precinct. Someone pointed out that getting watchers is actually a legalized form of vote-buying - cause really, these recruited persons could potentially snowball and expand the candidate's network of supporters through the watcher's family, neighbors and friends. Of course, I also learned during the course of this campaign and through anecdotes relayed by friends that watchers actually collect per diems from more than one candidate and make the elections a money making activity - well, apparently it really is. But going back to my candidate, aside from the lack of watchers, he ran without a political party and would not have the right to have a watcher present inside the polling precinct during counting. Of course, we also wouldn't have a copy of the election return - in seven copies, color coded and in carbonized paper, the size of a half illustration board - where the members of the board of election inspectors (the "BEI") or what the teachers are called, write the names of the candidates for all positions and tally their votes after the election and during the counting using the sticks - four vertical lines with the fifth line drawn diagonally across, or the taras, as referred to in the law. The limited watchers that my candidate had were tasked to obtain what is called the certificate of votes which would indicate the names of the candidates and their corresponding votes, signed by the members of the BEI, in lieu of the election returns.

And so, the election day went on, reportedly glitch free. Unlike the previous elections, the city treasurer's office was able to release the election paraphernalias to the teachers in time for the 7am start of the voting. After the precincts closed at 3pm, the BEI naturally took a break and had refreshments before proceeding with the counting which is conducted by opening the ballot box, retrieving the ballots inside and reading them one by one, reflecting its contents on the election returns. The counting reportedly went on until 5am the following day, with the classrooms turned polling precincts unfree from being peppered with power failures as the counting proceeded - yep, some things never change, and the old style apparently still en vogue.

Meanwhile, the legal team awaited the start of the the collating of the votes from all the precincts, or what is called canvassing to be done by the Board of Canvassers (the "BOC") which is composed of representatives from the local COMELEC, the city prosecutor's office, and the division schools superintendent. Under the law, the BOC was supposed to start doing its job at 6pm but since the counting at the precincts would not have been finished by then, the BOC actually starts working the following morning. In our case, we waited for two hours outside the locked-up city hall, with ants milling around us, gamo-gamos swarming around us as we sit on the still very warm concrete pavements across the city hall, very near the spot where I used to hang around when I was still in high school. At 8pm, someone relayed to all of us lawyers of the several candidates that the canvassing will start at 8am the following day. Hmnn...

Anyway, as the results of our quick count based on the certificates of votes came in, it became apparent that my candidate's sort of experiment of running a low budget, clean campaign simply wouldn't work in a district such as ours and considering that there were many other candidates. There was one candidate who attempted to literally buy his way into a congresional seat - to the point that it became insulting for us voters as we were apparently being bought in the most bulgar way possible. He did not win. The one who eventually won the congressional seat was a former local beauty queen who is reportedly of not much good repute. But oh well, true or not, that is another story.

Needless to say, my candidate having conceded, the legal team was no longer directed to be present during the canvassing. The loss was heartbreaking because I realized too late that I wasn't able to prepare myself emotionally for the eventuality of my candidate losing. It was heartbreaking because we didn't expected the results to be that way - my candidate did not even land in second or third place. Professionally, I was also disappointed because after months of preparation, I wasn't even able to set foot inside the canvassing area.

(To be continued...)

A Good Reminder on What Should Matter

I was reading J.K. Rowling's website, in preparation for the upcoming Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix movie and the publication of the last of the Harry Potter series, the Deathly Hallows when I came across this post from the J.K. Rowling under the heading "Extra Stuff". It was a good food for thought for me - not that I have or will give up on trying to lose weight (as I really should be normal weight at least), but her post reminded me that I am more than my digits in pounds, as I am also more than my digits in the bank. Having attributed my historical and serial lack of amorous life to my weight (and yes, my height), J.K.'s words inspired me and reminded me that above my appearance, I should be proud that I value lots of other laudable things and I have an innate desire to seek to improve myself intellectually and emotionally too - even if I'm admittedly lazy to exhaust myself with physical activity. Besides, I can keep on trying to lose or at least maintain my weight and I don't have to think that it is the end of the world if I remain as I am. Society really does takes its toll on women's self-image - we really should be feeling good about ourselves more than we are. I am not bad at all. I might not have found "the one" but it doesn't mean it is because I do not have what it takes to be someone worth loving. And I am glad I am a thousand things before thin.

Here is J.K. Rowling's complete post/rant:


For Girls Only, Probably...

Being thin. Probably not a subject that you ever expected to read about on this website, but my recent trip to London got me thinking...

It started in the car on the way to Leavesden film studios. I whiled away part of the journey reading a magazine that featured several glossy photographs of a very young woman who is either seriously ill or suffering from an eating disorder (which is, of course, the same thing); anyway, there is no other explanation for the shape of her body. She can talk about eating absolutely loads, being terribly busy and having the world's fastest metabolism until her tongue drops off (hooray! Another couple of ounces gone!), but her concave stomach, protruding ribs and stick-like arms tell a different story. This girl needs help, but, the world being what it is, they're sticking her on magazine covers instead. All this passed through my mind as I read the interview, then I threw the horrible thing aside.

But blow me down if the subject of girls and thinness didn't crop up shortly after I got out of the car. I was talking to one of the actors and, somehow or other, we got onto the subject of a girl he knows (not any of the Potter actresses – somebody from his life beyond the films) who had been dubbed 'fat' by certain charming classmates. (Could they possibly be jealous that she knows the boy in question? Surely not!)

'But,' said the actor, in honest perplexity, 'she is really not fat.'

'"Fat" is usually the first insult a girl throws at another girl when she wants to hurt her,' I said; I could remember it happening when I was at school, and witnessing it among the teenagers I used to teach. Nevertheless, I could see that to him, a well-adjusted male, it was utterly bizarre behaviour, like yelling 'thicko!' at Stephen Hawking.

His bemusement at this everyday feature of female existence reminded me how strange and sick the 'fat' insult is. I mean, is 'fat' really the worst thing a human being can be? Is 'fat' worse than 'vindictive', 'jealous', 'shallow', 'vain', 'boring' or 'cruel'? Not to me; but then, you might retort, what do I know about the pressure to be skinny? I'm not in the business of being judged on my looks, what with being a writer and earning my living by using my brain...

I went to the British Book Awards that evening. After the award ceremony I bumped into a woman I hadn't seen for nearly three years. The first thing she said to me? 'You've lost a lot of weight since the last time I saw you!'

'Well,' I said, slightly nonplussed, 'the last time you saw me I'd just had a baby.'

What I felt like saying was, 'I've produced my third child and my sixth novel since I last saw you. Aren't either of those things more important, more interesting, than my size?' But no – my waist looked smaller! Forget the kid and the book: finally, something to celebrate!

So the issue of size and women was (ha, ha) weighing on my mind as I flew home to Edinburgh the next day. Once up in the air, I opened a newspaper and my eyes fell, immediately, on an article about the pop star Pink.

Her latest single, 'Stupid Girls', is the antidote-anthem for everything I had been thinking about women and thinness. 'Stupid Girls' satirises the talking toothpicks held up to girls as role models: those celebrities whose greatest achievement is un-chipped nail polish, whose only aspiration seems to be getting photographed in a different outfit nine times a day, whose only function in the world appears to be supporting the trade in overpriced handbags and rat-sized dogs.

Maybe all this seems funny, or trivial, but it's really not. It's about what girls want to be, what they're told they should be, and how they feel about who they are. I've got two daughters who will have to make their way in this skinny-obsessed world, and it worries me, because I don't want them to be empty-headed, self-obsessed, emaciated clones; I'd rather they were independent, interesting, idealistic, kind, opinionated, original, funny – a thousand things, before 'thin'. And frankly, I'd rather they didn't give a gust of stinking chihuahua flatulence whether the woman standing next to them has fleshier knees than they do. Let my girls be Hermiones, rather than Pansy Parkinsons. Let them never be Stupid Girls. Rant over.

Irreplaceable

To the left
To the left
To the left
To the left
To the left
To the left
Everything you own in the box to the left
In the closet that's my stuff - Yes
If I bought it nigga please don't touch
And keep talking that mess, that's fine
But could you walk and talk at the same time
And It's my mine name that is on that Jag
So remove your bags let me call you a cab

Standing in the front yard telling me
How I'm such a fool - Talking about
How I'll never ever find a man like you
You got me twisted

You must not know about me
You must not know about me
I could have another you in a minute
matter fact he'll be here in a minute - baby

You must not know about me
You must not know about me
I can have another you by tomorrow
So don't you ever for a second get to thinking you're irreplaceable

So go ahead and get gone
And call up on that chick and see if she is home
Oops, I bet ya thought that I didn't know
What did you think I was putting you out for?
Cause you was untrue
Rolling her around in the car that I bought you
Baby you dropped them keys hurry up before your taxi leaves
Standing in the front yard telling me
How I am such a fool - Talking about
How I'll never ever find a man like you
You got me twisted

You must not know about me
You must not know about me
I could have another you in a minute
matter fact he'll be here in a minute - baby

You must not know about me
You must not know about me
I will have another you by tomorrow
So don't you ever for a second get to thinking you're irreplaceable

So since I’m not your everything
How about I'll be nothing
Nothing at all to you
Baby I wont shead a tear for you
I won't lose a wink of sleep
Cause the truth of the matter is
Replacing you is so easy

To the left
To the left
To the left
To the left
To the left
To the left
Everything you own in the box to the left

To the left
To the left

Don't you ever for a second get to thinking you're irreplaceable

You must not know about me
You must not know about me
I could have another you in a minute
matter fact he'll be be here in a minute - baby

You must not know about me
You must not know about me
I can have another you by tomorrow
Don't you ever for a second get to thinking you're irreplaceable

You must not know about me
You must not know about me
I could have another you in a minute
matter fact he'll be be here in a minute - baby

You must not know about me
You must not know about me
I can have another you by tomorrow
Don't you ever for a second get to thinking you're irreplaceable

- Beyonce, Irreplaceable

Whoa! Ang taray!

I've been hearing the line "to the left, to the left" in the office, as it is the message alert tone of my officemate. It was only this morning while I was tuned in to RX 93.1 when I found out that it was actually the song which I like and its title was "Irreplaceable" by Beyonce Knowles. I like the beat but I couldn't get the entire lyrics listening to it so I googled the lyrics just now.

Makes me think, and allow me to indulge in speculation, that while it is true that one can always find another love, it would take a while to accept that someone is dispensable - that you can live without that person. But then again, each one of us is unique and the love we give is likewise distinct, so in a sense, a person can really be irreplaceable - the way he irritates you, the way he rubs you the wrong way, the way you wail when he ignores you, the way your heart skips a beat when he smiles and looks at you, the way his face flashes in your head just whenever, the way he makes you feel...

I might just grab a copy of the Beyonce's CD tomorrow.

How to Spend a One Day Holiday

What could be better than spending a one day holiday than watching one of the first screenings of Spiderman 3 on its first showing day with friends alongs with their moms, wives, daughter, or special friend, and then having a satisfying lunch afterwards at Cascada? Priceless. Great company (OXAR, NBD, RPM-who had a date afterwards, MJGF-S with hubby AGS, CPRA with mom, MELAG with mom too, JJQS with wife and their very well behaved daughter, my inaanak AJ, and PGU with friend who is so nice - we like her!) awesome movie (oh Tobey Maguire is so adorable - good or bad! Though I think Green Goblin Jr. is sexy), perfect THX cinema - Greenbelt 3 Cinema 1 (whoa! you can really experience all the swooshing and the rumbling!), hassle free purchase of tickets via suresats... And oh, did I mention I had for lunch my favorites - walnut salad and lamb skewers?

Lovely day.