Thoughts after attending a wedding

Yesterday, I attended the wedding of my former office mates. They have been together since their law school days and all of us, their batch mates, are really happy for them now that they have settled down.

Hmnn... writing that down led me into thinking of what "settling down" implies. Is the state of singleness such a turbulent state that is conventional norm for people to be happy when other people are "settling down?" As for my former office mates, I believe that we, their batch mates, are happy for them because we know that they really love each other and getting married is some sort of a way to announce and implore to the whole world to acknowledge their union.

Hmnn... did I just betray my thoughts about getting married? Just to make it clear, I did not mean that I see marriage as unessential for two people who feel love for each other. I'll probably the first one to start on blabbering about my romantic ideas about marriage...

Excluding the men who believe in "settling down" and who thinks that the logical consequence to being an adult is sharing a life with a female, I think that for empowered men who've enjoyed being a bachelor so much, more than financially empowered women (because of societal conventions), getting married is definitely a curtailment of the freedom that they have gotten used to. And so, just the thought of them getting married causes me to see scenes and situations that they are now giving up, as they take the hand of their bride from the bride's father. 

Sitting there inside the church, not knowing anyone else, I was able to quietly watch the bridal procession and witnessed the groom doing what I just described: taking the bride and walking her towards the altar arm in arm. Seeing this made me think of another significance of getting married and how it expresses each other's love. In taking his bride to the altar, he was declaring to the whole world that he is willing to take on the responsibilities of being her husband. As for the bride, her walking towards the altar and not to mention putting together the entire production that weddings have become, she was also doing her own declaration to the whole world that she wants to spend ever after with Mark. No matter how fairy tale-like the thoughts and images that came to my mind, really, that was how I saw it. 

Am I overly romantic, unrealistic, irrational? I guess not. I am aware of the costs of putting together a wedding these days, and I've heard s much stories from my friends about how married and parent life is like that one really can't say that I won't know what's in it for me if, and when, I get married.

It all boils down to choice, a decision. I guess we can all make ourselves happy whatever it is we're doing, whoever we are with, or even if we don't have anyone. People who get married are making a choice to live together, stay together and endure together life no matter how much difficulties are lurking out there. Getting married is making a choice to go through life together, ideally, with the promise to think less of oneself and more of the other. It is definitely cognitive rather than emotions.

Hmnn... don't we all yearn for others to think less of themselves and more about us? I guess it is, essentially, our need to be loved. And conversely, when we love, don't we somehow forget about ourselves and more of the person we have affection for?

Lennon and Mccartney... they're really smart. It's true, all we need is love (love is all we need).

I guess, part of loving is learning to focus less on wishing someone makes that choice to love us and make the choice to love them anyway instead.

Hmnn...