Detecting Blessings

Today is the last day of the month of February. Looking back at the first fifty nine days of the year 2007, I am amazed at how much blessings I have already received. It is really not because I've never received this much blessings before but because at the start of the year, I have been blessed with a changed heart and an enlightened mind which enabled me to see the many blessings that I have been receiving each day.

I was going through my blogger account when I came upon this draft post which I wrote on October 30, 2006 which I entitled "This Affliction". I wrote:

It might be an exaggeration but I have a suspicion I'm suffering fron attention deficit disorder syndrome. I can't seem to go on focusing on what I'm supposed to do, it is mildly debilitating. I would like to attribute this restlessness to having a mind swirling with so much information, inducing me to see beyond the present and long for a pre-occupation in the future.

I used to be less imaginative as a child even while I did daydream a lot, but those day dreams were not too cerebral as much as they were emotional, want-driven. My proclivity to making plans the past few months have affected my being productive at work. It's not like I do not want to be where I am right now. On the contrary, my plans revolve around making my present job a springboard.

The draft post might not seem to be to the point, but I realized that the past few years have been quite a struggle against aimlessness. All my life, I take certain paths - grade school, high school, college, then law school, and the bar. Because I am the type of person who, given a goal, will get at it quite easily because of focus, I was able to complete and hurdle the goals I've mentioned. In 2001, I started work and it was then that I realized that suddenly, there is so much I can do - the road is no longer narrow and the course is won't be run in a track and field stadium with a definite end. I was thrusted into a forest, with no clearly paved paths, just foot paths which seem to be not reliable to bring me where I want to be. To confound my confusion, I realized I didn't know if I really want to be where I initially thought would be a nice place to be. Do I really want to work on the goal of, after a decade or so, being a partner in the law firm which I joined? In the first place, do I want to be in the shoes of those who have become senior associates? I soon realized I was missing something in my life - I seem to have a purpose but they don't seem to be too meaningful or there is doubt if I would have fulfillment in achieving those purposes.

I went through a process, it took years, several heartaches, and also so much joy before I came to the first few days of 2007. I know I am a work in progress and I should never ever let my guard down but right now, I am happy or should I say, joyful to have discovered why I was unhappy before and why I never seem to satisfy myself with the things I strive for. It was because I was not able to realize then that the cliche that life is not a bed of roses is so true. Life here in earth is like the nine months we spent inside our mother's womb. Everything that happened to use from the time we came to life up to the time we were brought to this world shaped us and affected what we will become. Similarly, we were brought to this earth so as not to spend forever here, we are here to be honed, to be shaped and prepared for eternal life with God - that is my faith which I profess. There is a certain character which would make us fit to be spenting eternal life with God, and that is being Christ-like which should be our goal when we are still on earth. Knowing that made so much sense to me. I was unhappy because I was going against how God crafted me to be. I am His child and I was not made for this earth. If I had only realized that, I would not have been so uncontented and unhappy. Not only that, I would have been resilient in facing failures and problems because I would have known that the trials are tests which allows me to prove to myself and to Him if I am progressing towards being Christ-like. True, it is really easy to say "I trust in the Lord" if things are going great but what about when faced with adversities? And what about loving people who love us as against not so lovable people?

I'd like to share with you one of my favorite verses which goes:

Yahweh says this:
"A curse on the man who puts his trust in man, who relies of things of flesh, whose heart turns from Yahweh. He is like a dry scrub in the wastelands: if good comes, he has no eyes for it, he settles in the parched places of the wilderness, a salt land, uninhabited.

A blessing on the man who puts his trust in Yahweh, with Yahweh for his hope. He is like a tree by the waterside that thrusts its roots to the stream: when the heat comes it feels no alarm, its foliage stays green; it has no worries in the year of drought, and never ceases to bear fruit." - Jeremiah 17:5-8

Di ba ang ganda? :) I'd like to be that tree with it roots thrusted to the stream. I want to be always in the care of the Lord and who would obediently accept not only joy but also pain, seeing and understanding that the Lord's wisdom is infinite and his will is never to harm us but to prosper us in the larger scheme of things. I want to be always able to bear good fruit, which is actually to do good no matter how hard it is to do so.

So there. I feel I have been immensely blessed to be able to have the gift of understanding what my life is all about. I now see life as each day passes and I have more peace knowing that I am on the side of someone who knows what He is doing and is in charge. Being a control freak, having that someone and being able to surrender to Him is really so comforting. But I have learned that, really, praying a lot and being in tune with his will, and accepting his will even if it is not the same as your personal desires brings peace and joy, things that I have looked for so long. Now that I've found it, I will never let myself stray away again, with God's help and mercy.

Have a blessed day!