Four Funerals and a Wedding: The Second Funeral (Part II)
As I wasn’t enrolled in a Chinese school, and didn’t have anyone to speak Chinese with, I was no Chinese, save for my surname. Though I completed Chinese 10 and 11 in college as language elective, my first initiation at being Chinese was at my Ama’s funeral, the second funeral.
Ama, who stayed with her eldest son, Uncle Tiong Kim, never got to learn to speak Tagalog or English. Anybody who saw Kris Aquino’s movie “Feng Shui� and saw how “Lotus Feet� walked would have an idea how I visualize my Ama, coming out of her room to greet me during me and my sister’s Christmas visits to her. She would give me some money, but most often fruits and would touch my face and hold my hands before telling me about my character. She never fails to say to me “ya-sui� which supposedly means “beautiful�, always accompanied by her loving face. Tita Rosa would interpret what my Ama would say in Fookien but not all, as she conveniently left out the details about Ama’s bashing of my dad’s Chinese wife in my presence. Nonetheless, it always seemed to me that she was comparing us with the “other� daughter-in-law and “other� grandchildren.
Ama died having a grudge against the “other� family. To think that my dad’s Chinese wife was a niece of my Ama. Her death came shortly after a neighborhood spectacle of a melee when my hostile elder half-sister Lima accused Kuya Henry and his sister Ate Katyn of “stealing� her customers. Boy, was that a shouting match. During Ama’s funeral, feuding or not, my papa and Uncle Tiong kim performed their duties to their mother by accomplishing all that has to be done, and performing all ceremonies that had to be performed. Upon Ate Katyn’s prodding and heeding her argument that I am an “apo� therefore I should be where all the “apos� are, I joined my cousins and half-sisters and half-brother in bowing to my Ama’s coffin and to the other ancestors, to the posing for the camera beside the coffin, wearing a red sash as a sign that I was immediate family and walking a few meters from Funeraria Paz in Misericordia to a nearby corner before boarding the vehicle to Loyola Memorial Park in Marikina where Ama is to be buried beside my Angkong. It felt good and it felt right. After all, I never had any doubt in my heart that Ama loved me and even when she was sick and blind, I was able to visit her a few days before she died and she touched my face, smiled and recognized me, and held my hand for a long, long time.
Angkong’s wife allowed Ama to be buried beside Angkong in the space which was meant for her. As few years after Ama’s death, Liwayway was buried alongside Angkong and Ama.
It was only upon her death when I found out that my grandmother’s name was Diu Ti li.
Ama, who stayed with her eldest son, Uncle Tiong Kim, never got to learn to speak Tagalog or English. Anybody who saw Kris Aquino’s movie “Feng Shui� and saw how “Lotus Feet� walked would have an idea how I visualize my Ama, coming out of her room to greet me during me and my sister’s Christmas visits to her. She would give me some money, but most often fruits and would touch my face and hold my hands before telling me about my character. She never fails to say to me “ya-sui� which supposedly means “beautiful�, always accompanied by her loving face. Tita Rosa would interpret what my Ama would say in Fookien but not all, as she conveniently left out the details about Ama’s bashing of my dad’s Chinese wife in my presence. Nonetheless, it always seemed to me that she was comparing us with the “other� daughter-in-law and “other� grandchildren.
Ama died having a grudge against the “other� family. To think that my dad’s Chinese wife was a niece of my Ama. Her death came shortly after a neighborhood spectacle of a melee when my hostile elder half-sister Lima accused Kuya Henry and his sister Ate Katyn of “stealing� her customers. Boy, was that a shouting match. During Ama’s funeral, feuding or not, my papa and Uncle Tiong kim performed their duties to their mother by accomplishing all that has to be done, and performing all ceremonies that had to be performed. Upon Ate Katyn’s prodding and heeding her argument that I am an “apo� therefore I should be where all the “apos� are, I joined my cousins and half-sisters and half-brother in bowing to my Ama’s coffin and to the other ancestors, to the posing for the camera beside the coffin, wearing a red sash as a sign that I was immediate family and walking a few meters from Funeraria Paz in Misericordia to a nearby corner before boarding the vehicle to Loyola Memorial Park in Marikina where Ama is to be buried beside my Angkong. It felt good and it felt right. After all, I never had any doubt in my heart that Ama loved me and even when she was sick and blind, I was able to visit her a few days before she died and she touched my face, smiled and recognized me, and held my hand for a long, long time.
Angkong’s wife allowed Ama to be buried beside Angkong in the space which was meant for her. As few years after Ama’s death, Liwayway was buried alongside Angkong and Ama.
It was only upon her death when I found out that my grandmother’s name was Diu Ti li.
posted by wernicke @ 2:37:00 AM
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