The fruit and the seed

It is near the end of the day, another Christmas passes. It was a particularly tiring Christmas season, physically and emotionally as well. I was pleased that I had several hours of rest, just staying home and leisurely chatting with family members. There were a few incidents which almost made me decide to just hole up inside the house and not perform the usual Christmas obligations of receiving Christmas well-wishers, or more accurately, namamasko. (I got irked when I heard that there was someone who was claiming to be my inaanak, when I know I keep track of my godchildren, listing down their names and other birth details. Of course, there are my godchildren who are children of really close friends and there are those who get me as their child's god parent just because. There was an instance I got a surprise invitation to be ninang, on the day of the child's binyag, and at the same time borrowed the family van. Kainis, cause she made me feel I was being made ninang just so she could borrow the car. Hay.)

Good thing I spoke to a friend who gave me good counsel, so I went on visiting our relatives who live nearby. It was good decision, cause they received me well and we were able to catch up. I thought I had lost the Christmas spirit of giving and loving. And yet I know I could have given more and loved more.

Searching for answers and yes, admonition, I sought the Bread of Life, and found this.

“This is the meaning of the parable: The seed is the word of God. 12Those along the path are the ones who hear, and then the devil comes and takes away the word from their hearts, so that they may not believe and be saved. 13Those on the rock are the ones who receive the word with joy when they hear it, but they have no root. They believe for a while, but in the time of testing they fall away. 14The seed that fell among thorns stands for those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by life’s worries, riches and pleasures, and they do not mature. 15But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop. John 8:11-15 (TNIV)

I fear that I may have been one who heard but does not allow the seed to grow in me because of distractions: worries, doubt, fear, hurt, comforts and privileges. I do not want this, no.

And so, here is my prayer for 2008: Oh Lord, make a good soil. Make me bear good fruit.

Amen.