Wernicke's area

Hello, Old Friend!

2011-01-23T23:53:00.000+11:00

I saw someone today who made me remember something I have quite forgotten. Yes, I have forgotten about Wernicke's area.

Credit that to the deluge of social networking sites that preoccupied my free and even my not-so-free time, I indeed have forgotten that I had blogged. The great thing about forgetting is the joy you feel remembering. Though it is not always the case that forgotten things bring good memories, this one surely did. As soon as I remembered, I used the google app I had in my blackberry and keyed-in the url. I could hardlly describe how much joy each finished sentence brought me - my own writing seemed to be not my own. Accurately, it was myself, albeit a few years younger speaking to me and it was indeed magical.

So many things happened after I wrote the last entry, and perhaps, it was with a bit of regret that I failed to write between that time and now. I have always known how writing made me feel more alive and now I know why. Through writing I am able to live twice as long as when I simply let each moment pass without reflecting on them. For how was I able to write if I had not made those pauses so as to state what was on my mind. Writing indeed is like shining a light at everything that is inside a dark room of my soul; the effort it takes to grope and reach each and every crevice brings to light things forgotten and even those which are undiscovered.

First entry that I read is my blog Date Dissecting, and immediately I realized why I was not in speaking terms with that guy in the party. ;-)

I will probably spend a few moments looking around Wernicke's area, certain that it will bring me more joy and moments of pleasant surprises.

Wernicke's area is that part of the brain associated with understanding written and spoken language.

Fly

2008-11-12T03:52:00.000+11:00

Today, for the first time, I saw my pigeons fly. You see, I had procrastinated throwing huge boxes and cartons from Ikea which came with my bed. I had left them at the balcony for months and only decided to clean up on the day of my birthday. It was a pleasant surprise to see that a mama pigeon had made a nest beneath those cartons and there they were, two baby pigeons, seemingly newly hatched. And so that is how I had pigeons in my apartment which supposedly did not allow pets. I never touched them, and never did feed them. I couldn't bear to clean up and clear their nest when they were still unable to fly as I do not know if their mama pigeon will find them or just abandon them if I move them. It was only last week after scheduling a big party at home when I realized that I really have to evict them from the balcony. I watched my pigeons in the morning. I see them getting out of their nest and cartons which kept them warm even on cold, wet, windy days or nights. I see them looking at the other pigeons flying into the balcony and gliding towards the neighbor's roof. They couldn't fly yet then so they just looked, chirped and hop - flapping their wings and elevating a few inches only for their feet to touch the floor again. A few days ago, I peeked into their "hole" and told them, "you would have to be out of here on Thursday. You should learn to fly." I was pleased that whenever I see them they seem to be indeed learning to fly. But then I was quite alarmed that they aren't learning fast enough and so I took out one of the big cartons so as not to make their holes less warm and comfortable. I feel sorry for them but that is really the way it is - I need my balcony too. And so this morning, I finally saw them fly. They have gone further than the railings and jumped - it was probably easy. They fell, opened their wings, flapped them and they flew! They probably thought, "oh, if I had known it was easy I would have flown a long time ago!" Come to think of it, if mama pigeon built their nest on a tree, they would have fallen earlier and had learned to fly weeks ago. But well, there was no need to fly when you're cosy in someone else's balcony. Learning lessons from pigeons.

Buhay buhay dito sa Australia

2008-08-11T09:20:00.001+10:00

Ganun pala yun. Ganun pala talaga.

Nung second week ko dito, meron kaming Bridging Program. Two days yun, maghapon. Syempre, yun yung time na makikilala namin yung mga international students din. Mahusay din naman ang aming school. Sa umaga, saka sa hapon, may pa kape, tsaa at merienda na pica pica. Magaling. Time to socialise (note the "s," haha!) and mingle with classmates. Dahil international students kami, required kami mag enroll dun sa course na Legal Reasoning and the Common Law System na gagawin for 4 days, 9:30 am to 4:30 pm. O diba? Bonding.

Syempre, pag nagpapakilala, sasabihin mo pangalan mo. "Hi, I'm May..." Hindi ko mapigilan, at nasabi ko na ng ilang beses nung napansin ko na hindi pala nalalayo sa mga beauty pageant contestants kung paano ko sinasabi yun "Philippines" pag tinanong na "where are you from?" Minsan naman, may kausap ako sa library at nabanggit nya ang isang investment haven na "Turks and..." Syempre, tinapos ko ang sentence nya - "Cacos." He was impressed at alam ko daw ang bansa. Duh? Alam ko mga countries dahil sa Miss Universe, no. (Ano ba yan, nasobrahan ng kapapanoon ng Binibining Pilipinas at Miss Universe nung kabataan.)

Dito sa Sydney kahit sa kalye, meron kakausap sa iyo. In fairness, wala naman nag sasabi sa akin ng "G'day mate." Meron pa, "hi, how are you?" Speaking of "in fairness," tawa kami ng tawa nung isang Pinay na nakilala ko sa orientation (na ginanap sa Uni namin, na I swear, kamukha talaga ng Hogwarts ang courtyard pati loob ng Great Hall nila - I can imagine the Goblet of Fire inside it, pati na ang tables of the four houses). Kasi sabi namin, tayo lang mga Pinoy na marunong, o nakakadinig ng Pinoy gayspeak, ang nagsasabi ng "in fairness." At lumalabas lang ito pag Pinoy din ang kausap mo.

Para sa kanila, at pati din dun sa ibang classmates ko, lahat eh walking distance kahit pa mula SM Megamall hanggang Guadalupe bridge, que horror, eh walking distance pa din. Okay lang naman sana maglakad dito dahil hindi ka manlilimahid sa lagkit dahil malamig nga kaya lang, pag minalas ka at humangin, o kaya eh umambon, ay! - parang nakikipag cheek to cheek ka sa isang bloke ng yelo. Minsan, namanhid na ang kamay ko kaya pagbunot ko ng concession ticket ko, hindi ko pala nakuha.

Medyo disoriented ako minsan. Sa Caloocan kasi ako nakatira doon sa Pinas kaya sanay ako na ang travel ko para mag trabaho eh papaunta South. Dito, dahil yung law school nasa City, I travel north going to school. Tapos isa pa, yung dagat nasa east. Eh di ba sa Pinas, ang Manila Bay nasa west? No sunset in the water dito.

Kahapon, napadpad ako sa Coogee Beach. Maganda naman sya, pero nalula ako nung naisip ko na, kaharap ko na ang Karagatan Pasipiko at hindi na ang friendly friendly South China Sea.

Speaking of China, di masyado madami ang classmates ko from China or Asia for that matter. Practical ata sila kaya nandun sila sa Faculty of Business and Economics at hindi sa Law. Kaya naman, mas madami ako classmates, Europeans. Madami taga Holland, Germany at Switzerland. May isang taga Austria, pero half-Turkish sya, may taga Nazareth (!) at may taga Bangladesh. May classmates din ako na taga Argentina and Brazil. Isa lang ang taga US - siguro, mas gusto nila dun mag aral sa States. Nung nag start na ang regular classes, aba, wala pa din ako masyado nakikilala na Australians. Yung isang nakilala ko, of Chinese descent pa. Di ko talaga napigilan ang pagka jologs ko nung sinabi sa akin ni Mr. Austria na half-Turkish sya at dun sya sa Turkey lumaki. Sabi ko, "did you know that there was a Filipina who was a second runner up in the Ms. Worl pageant who married a rich Turkish businessman?" Ay ano ba? Syempre, di naman nya kilala the person Annabelle Rama calls "Elmas." Eto naman si Mr. Nazareth, syempre natuwa ako na may kilala na ako taga Nazareth. Kaso, di yata sya Kristiyano. Ay yay yay. Nakakaaliw din yung isang classmate ko na taga Holland. Pagkatapos ko i-recite ang beauty pageant "from the Philippines" line, sabi nya, "is your President still the woman, Arroyo?" O diba? Magaling. Pero good question. Is she still the President, mga friends? Until when will she be President? Baka pagbalik ko, Luzon at Visayas na lang ang Pilipinas ha? O baka naman dapat palitan na ng "Philippine Federation" ang passport ko. =)

Halo halo ang mga tao dito. Talaga naman, pag sakay mo ng train or bus, iba iba madidinig mo. Tower of Babel and dating. May nagchi-Chinese, may naghi-Hindi, may nagii-Spanish. Bihira pa nga yung may madidinig ka na may strong Australian accent. At teka, sino ba ang nagsabi na matataba ang mga tao dito? Ay hindi. Sila ay mga fit. At hindi naman din sila masyadong matangkad, mga sing tangkad ko lang. Pero hindi sila matataba huh. Kahit na yung mga grocery dito, yung Coles, Woolworths, nakakalula yung dami ng tinda nila na chocolates. M&Ms in pails! Ang mga Cadbury, sinlaki ng index card. Napakadaming flavor. Ay, ayoko lumapit, tukso, layuan mo ako!

Naku, pati ang mga keso dito kadami. Lahat ng variety meron, at hindi sya mahal, relatively. Puwede ka may pa wine and cheese party araw araw. Eto nga, ang aming ref at ready for a wine and cheese party. Pati na ang aming wine rack. Itsura ng Novellino sa mga wine dito.

Nakanood na din ako ng sine dito: The Dark Knight at saka The Forbidden Kingdom (kailangan ko talaga makita si Jet Li, tapos masaya na ako). Naku, nanood kami sa Greater Union sa may Town Hall. Aba, nung nanood kami ng The Dark Knight, dun sa parte na lumabas na ang character ni Morgan Freeman, aba, tumigil ang sine, nagsindi ng ilaw! Kung sa Ever or SM Cinemas yan, nagsigawan na ng "boo" at "soli bayad!" ang mga tao. Actually, may mga sumisigaw na. "Ano ito?," sabi ko. Bigla ko na imagine si Piolo na lagarista. Baka tinatahi tahi pa ang rolyo. Natapos naman ang pelikula, at binigyan kami ng complimentary ticket pampalubag loob. Kaya kami nakanood ng Forbidden Kingdom.

Napapsabak ang camera ko sa kakapicture. Kagabi, sabi ko, sino yang rebulto? Si Queen Victoria daw. Ay, hindi ko nakilala. Mukha palang lalaki si QUeen Victoria.

Ayun ang kuwento. Masaya dito. Nakakaaliw. Pero syempre, miss ko pa din kayo.

Push on U.P.

2008-06-21T19:57:00.002+10:00

My family was on our way to Antipolo this morning and we took C.P. Garcia Avenue going to C-5. From the University Avenue, while making a right turn to C.P. Garcia, I caught a glimpse of the banners relating to UP's Centennial celebrations, and strangely, the pep squad song we were taught on our freshman year played in my head, the lyrics distinct, correct and alive:

Push on UP and go in to win. Push on UP and fight.

Loyal and true, we're always with you.

Push on to victory with all your might.

Rise, rise UP. We;ll always stand by you

Go on, UP. We will ever cheer and sing for you to

WIN, WIN, UP!

Our hearts will ever yearn.

For the maroon and green banner waving high up for UP.

Varsity, varsity, hit then high and low.

VArsity, varsity, go fight UP go.

UP rah, UP rah, UP rah, rah boom! Ssst!

I swear, those were the lyrics as I remember them. As far as I remember, I attended just one UAAP basketball game, and UP did not win. The best that the UP basketball team ever fared was when it had Paolo Mendoza and his teammates who were from UPIS and whose parents were employees, hence had the loyalty not to be lured into the powerhouse, high budget UAAP teams.

I wonder if UP will host this year's UAAP, in celebration of its centennial. I also wonder whatever happened to efforts by the UP Alumni to develop its sports program and help the UP basketball team get better players and, consequently, do better in the UAAP. While UP does well in the other UAAP sports and actually places in the top 3 at the end of the UAAP season, UP in basketball has been hibernating and has not won a championship since the team of Benjie Paras, Joey Guanio, Ronnie Magsanoc, Alfie Manlulu, and company won the championship in 1986. Holy cow! Dalawang dekada na halos!

The dismal performance of UP in the UAAP basketball tournament is attributed to its lack of a sports program and lack of funds. I am not aware what is the significance of the fiscal autonomy provisions of the new UP Charter in making the basketball team more competitive. Perhaps, UP will never even consider matching the sports program of the likes of Ateneo and La Salle, arguing that it doesn't care, it is academically superior anyway.

Truth is, the exodus of professors opting to teach in La Salle or Ateneo rather than UP exemplifies the consequences of lack of funding, support and facilities in UP. Never mind if the bright students who can afford choose to go to Ateneo rather than UP. Okay lang yun, dapat lang naman siguro yun.

Despite the lack of funds, UP has not been successfully overtaken by the other schools in terms of ranking, at least with respect to the 2007 Times Higher Education university rankings. UP is number one in the Philippines, followed by Ateneo, La Salle and then UST. It makes you think how it can be still be number one in the Philippines despite the other 3 universities being relatively better funded. Perhaps, this can be attributed to the quality of students and the dedication of its faculty who stay in UP out of loyalty and sense of the service. (I know a lot of people who would opt to teach at the UP College of Law despite the pay.) The other way of looking at this ranking is, looking beyond the other Philippine universities, how UP could fare better only if it had funding. The UP is ranked below 300 while La Salle and UST are both out of the top 500. Afterall, the National University of Singapore is at No. 33, (It seems though I have chosen well in my selection of a school where to get my LLM in Australia - the University of Sydney is third in Australia at NO. 31. The Australian National University is the top school in Australia, at No. 16.)

I happen to had the chance to sit beside W.S., a wealthy and prominent UP alumni whose grandchildren, brilliant, intelligent and very talented, went to UP undergraduate - the other one even went on to law school. He believes that he and his family should not have been made to pay a measly sum for their granddaughter's tuition which at that time, was only around P7,000 per semester. To resolve his dissonance, he claimed he donated a large amount of money to the university. Good!

The other extreme of this situation is whether the current tuition of UP is still affordable for the brightest of the bright but poorest of the poor. I heard that you need to be Bracket 3 in STFAP so you can still pay P300 per unit. To be Bracket 3, you have to have an annual gross family income of P80,000m which means that to be able to go to UP, you have to set aside 10% of that amount to send just one of your children to school. Geesh, this is how it feels like - like sending your child to say, Poveda when your annual salary is P900,000. That is a lot! A big share of the pie.

I wonder where and how the new UP Charter would lead UP, what will eventually happen to UP's idle lands, will the judges and justices still be from UP after 10 years (considering there are very few UP graduates who work for the DOJ or the courts. We can only hope that things will get better, and UP graduates will live up to its self-laudatory centennial motto, "UP, ang galing mo!" to which the other schools most probably modify into "UP, ang yabang mo!" Hahaha!

I remember when I was a freshman in UP, I pondered where would I be on June 18, 2008, the day UP turns 100. I was positive that I would be joining the centennial celebrations back then but I ended up staying in the office, reviewing contracts and sending emails. Anyway, I was celebrating, and contemplating with the rest of the UP community in spirit.

You can always come back to...

2008-06-16T22:14:00.000+10:00

breathing.

My yoga practice taught me this. Indeed, when my heartbeat starts racing and I start to see black, the surrounding go out of focus, I make my breathing slower and deeper, without sound and it works! It always does. I was amused when I saw that Bruce Banner (Edward Norton) was able to contain his transformations to the green monster called The Hulk by doing breathing exercises and keeping his heartrate within normal. We were lying down in savasana when my yoga teacher pointed out that breathing was what was used to keep the transformations from coming... and she suggested that if we want, they can employ the slapping to help us learn to do proper breathing. Oops, uh uh, nope. We CAN do proper breathing, thank you very much.

praying and reflecting on The Word.

Oh dear, I always make the same mistake of getting carried away from my scheduled reading and reflections of The Word. One of my new year's resolutions was to read The Daily Bread everyday including the suggested bible passages which, if I complete, would enable me to read the entire Bible. I still stray away and get caught up with a lot of distractions when it has happened so many times that when something is bothering me, the answer is right there in the Daily Bread story or bible passage for the day. Hay naku! Anyway, I've come back to it and today, on my first day, I immediately felt the peace creeping into me. "Oh you stubborn child..." I could almost hear Him say. Reading the Bible regularly enhances discipline, my sense of commitment, and "makes the soil fertile" by seeing the Scripture come to life in my day to day experiences. How else can I see the truth in the Word if I am not learned in it?

So there, just to day, I realized that those two, are my life lines - the ones I can always come back to to make everything alright, to bring order in my life. No one can take them away from me, no matter how many times I get pierced and poked by the "triangle."

Seeing the BIG Triangle

2008-06-15T00:28:00.000+10:00

There is very little that I remember from my dreaded Introduction to Chemistry class, but I do recall that the symbol for change is the triangle.

I was a passive participant in a conversation this morning where my friend remarked that it is so hard to stay married because both spouses undergo a lot of change and you both have to constantly adjust to these changes. It wasn't a novel idea - hearing the "people change" cliche, but it struck me at the right time how right she was.

In a certain way, change is a dreadful scenario most especially when you don't initiate the change. I guess there is an element of uncertainty when change is introduced by factors, or persons whose thoughts and feelings are beyond the grasp of our control. A real nightmare for the control freak like me.

I'm experiencing a lot of changes these days, and I know I am in for a major, huge, big change in the coming months (but then again, I was the one who catalyzed those upcoming changes so everything else that will follow is brimming with anticipation and excitement for me - but that's another story). The thing is, when the fervent fire of something good, happy, and comforting seems to be on the verge of fizzling out cold, it is an easy excuse for a panic attack. I guess I just have to remind myself of what I used to tell myself during the heydays - all things come to an end; nothing is permanent. A sizzling love affair could abruptly end, friendship can be broken, success can get trivialized. The end could be brought about by another person's choice, or some twist of fate like separation, or even death. That is probably why people always say (or at least the cynical ones) "Enjoy it while it lasts."

There is always a choice how to deal with the "triangle." One can be bitter or one can be gracious. I personally feel that there is no need to be bitter: yes, I tell and convince myself that there is no need to be bitter (keep that sticking in your head between the fissures of your gray matter, May!). Instead, being gracious and accepting is the way to go. Relieve the good times with the optimism that ahead are more, better times, perhaps under different circumstances, with different people and different places. And while some good times are already gone and have abruptly, unceremoniously ended, at least, at the palm of your hands, you know, and should be grateful that you had and embraced them once.

Plantar Fasciitis

2008-06-12T22:08:00.000+10:00

When I wake up in the morning and get up, I couldn't make a step and stand on my left foot. I have ignored the pain on my left foot for so long cause I thought it was just muscle strain but what disturbed me were these articles I read. Gosh, it's Plantar Fasciitis!

http://orthoinfo.aaos.org/topic.cfm?topic=A00149

http://www.sportsinjuryclinic.net/cybertherapist/front/foot/plantarfaciitis.htm

Anyway, I already went to a rehab Medicine doctor and I will start therapy tomorrow. Hopefully it gets better.

Prince Caspian

2008-06-10T17:33:00.000+10:00

I saw Prince Caspian today in Greenbelt 3. I'm just too happy that the past 3 movies I've seen were so enjoyable, not a single centavo was wasted. I've now loaded my M-Pass with P620 so I can easily buy tickets online. Still have to watch Kung Fun Panda. Too bad The Dark Knights opens in theaters on July 16.

Lucy is so endearing! =)

I'm really gonna miss watching movies in Greenbelt 3...

Checklist

2008-06-09T19:50:00.000+10:00

I was listening to 103.5 MAX this morning and the disk jocks were interviewing a woman who wanted to be on the radio, in that particular program. The woman named Sarge made a list on 35 things to do before she turns 35 (her birthday is on March) and being on radio is one of the 35 things she wants to do. She said that so far she has ticked off only a few on her list. I was amused by her and was also inspired - she said that she wanted to make a list to keep her going. I also make little lists myself though some of the major happenings in my life were not on my list; they just popped out of the blue or spurred by suggestions from influential friends. Anyway, just want to share with you a little list I thought of - things I want to happen before my Australian visa expires! (Hahaha! It expires on August 31, 2009) 1. Get a beautiful apartment which is accessible and suitable for my visitors.

2. Visit my friend in the U.S. and see New York and San Francisco, at least. Would be nice to see D.C. and Boston too. 3. Master and complete reviewing books 1 and 2 and CDs of The New Practical Chinese Reader 4. Attend the Shanghai Winter School during the break 5. Watch Cirque du Soleil and Phantom of the Opera in Sydney 6. See Melbourne 7. Swim and snorkle in the Great Barrier Reef 8. Vacation at Hunter Valley Hmn... not too hard to achieve right? =)

Thoughts after attending a wedding

2008-05-25T18:16:00.000+10:00

Yesterday, I attended the wedding of my former office mates. They have been together since their law school days and all of us, their batch mates, are really happy for them now that they have settled down.

Hmnn... writing that down led me into thinking of what "settling down" implies. Is the state of singleness such a turbulent state that is conventional norm for people to be happy when other people are "settling down?" As for my former office mates, I believe that we, their batch mates, are happy for them because we know that they really love each other and getting married is some sort of a way to announce and implore to the whole world to acknowledge their union.

Hmnn... did I just betray my thoughts about getting married? Just to make it clear, I did not mean that I see marriage as unessential for two people who feel love for each other. I'll probably the first one to start on blabbering about my romantic ideas about marriage...

Excluding the men who believe in "settling down" and who thinks that the logical consequence to being an adult is sharing a life with a female, I think that for empowered men who've enjoyed being a bachelor so much, more than financially empowered women (because of societal conventions), getting married is definitely a curtailment of the freedom that they have gotten used to. And so, just the thought of them getting married causes me to see scenes and situations that they are now giving up, as they take the hand of their bride from the bride's father.

Sitting there inside the church, not knowing anyone else, I was able to quietly watch the bridal procession and witnessed the groom doing what I just described: taking the bride and walking her towards the altar arm in arm. Seeing this made me think of another significance of getting married and how it expresses each other's love. In taking his bride to the altar, he was declaring to the whole world that he is willing to take on the responsibilities of being her husband. As for the bride, her walking towards the altar and not to mention putting together the entire production that weddings have become, she was also doing her own declaration to the whole world that she wants to spend ever after with Mark. No matter how fairy tale-like the thoughts and images that came to my mind, really, that was how I saw it.

Am I overly romantic, unrealistic, irrational? I guess not. I am aware of the costs of putting together a wedding these days, and I've heard s much stories from my friends about how married and parent life is like that one really can't say that I won't know what's in it for me if, and when, I get married.

It all boils down to choice, a decision. I guess we can all make ourselves happy whatever it is we're doing, whoever we are with, or even if we don't have anyone. People who get married are making a choice to live together, stay together and endure together life no matter how much difficulties are lurking out there. Getting married is making a choice to go through life together, ideally, with the promise to think less of oneself and more of the other. It is definitely cognitive rather than emotions.

Hmnn... don't we all yearn for others to think less of themselves and more about us? I guess it is, essentially, our need to be loved. And conversely, when we love, don't we somehow forget about ourselves and more of the person we have affection for?

Lennon and Mccartney... they're really smart. It's true, all we need is love (love is all we need).

I guess, part of loving is learning to focus less on wishing someone makes that choice to love us and make the choice to love them anyway instead.

Hmnn...

Yoga in the Wild!

2008-04-23T19:06:00.000+10:00

As I haven't got time to upload my pics, take a look at the pictures taken by my yogi classmate, Karo Asistio - her pics are really, really nice. I did see how I was doing some poses wrong. Hehehe.

Here is a link to her page:

http://kar630.multiply.com/photos/album/50/Bikram_Yoga_at_Kawayan_Cove#

The 51st Yogi

2008-04-07T13:45:00.000+10:00

This morning, I almost missed the 9:30 am bikram yoga class. Acck!!!

I arrived in front of the building 5 minutes before the start of class. On my way to the third floor, I was met by two classmates and they told me that the studio is already full - 50 students were already tightly sqeezed inside, so they were told they couldn't accommodate more students. Oh was I sad, I didn't want to move. It meant that I would miss today's class cause the next schedule is at 3 pm. Just the same, I decided to go up and just change into normal clothes. *Sob.*

Now the yoga studio has a window where you can look inside. I bended down so my classmates won't see and take pity on poor me - like a kid left by the bus on the day of the class field trip. As luck would have it, my teacher Sherie was inside the bathroom and I whiningly said to her, "Sherie, I did not make it..." and she told me, you know what, I think I can find a space for you. She gets my mat, she goes inside and she tries my mat on top to the small pebble garden inside the studio (beside the pots). I thought she was joking but then I realized how addicted to yoga I was that I actually considered it! Then she goes, well maybe you can practice sideways - she found a spot for me which would position me facing the side mirrors when everyone else would face the front. What the heck! I was so happy, I took that spot!

I just love Sherie! During class, she told the rest of the class (including the other teachers, Betty and Ginger, and my other yogi friends) that I've been coming everyday and she saw how sad I was to be turned away. It was a bit weird squeezing myself in that spot, facing in another direction just to fit myself in the floor series. But oh boy, Sherie was right. It was my best class simply because I took it cause what's bad is missing that class (when you went from Caloocan all the way to Greenhills, climbed the building three floors up carrying your mat and wearing yoga clothes - including Shakti shorts and be turned away because the studio is full - never will I come to class just in time!)

I will forever remember that spot - where I knocked down my water bottle - with my hands, with my feet several time, where I nearly head-banged a classmate doing the sit-ups towards the end of the class (it was going way too smoothly, Sherie says). It wasn't the best spot in that studio but it was MY spot this morning. The spot where I did my deepest half-moon pose ever, the most stretch I made out of my hamstrings in the standing separate leg pose - touhing my forehead to the floor in both sets. Today I did not care about the pain, oh what happy pain, what pleasant heat, what sweet sweating. I'm utterly grateful to have attended that class, I love it. It made my day.

Yummy

2008-04-05T01:00:00.000+11:00

An *angel* treated me for lunch last Wednesday at Balducci in Serendra. Oh, it was one of the most gustatorily pleasing lunches I've had in months! To begin with, the seats, tables and overall feel of the restuarant is so comforting - it is a treat in itself to be inside it in a swelteringly hot day. The lemonade I had was a bit on the sweet side but it surely beats the "pseudo-lemonade" I've had the previous day at another restaurant. Their complimentary piadina wedges and butter-liver pate-salsa spreads were already something to make you go back. But there is more. We had pasta, three of them: vongole, gnocchi and my favorite in Balducci, the Spinach Ricotta Ravioli. Oh, heavenly! The gnocci is also very interesting and it turned out to be outstanding too. Now it rivals the ravioli as my Balducci favorite. The gnocchi's sauce is similar to the ravioli but it has a different texture. It has blue cheese (I think) inside which melts in your mouth and the flavor simply goes along perfectly well. I realized it was my first time to taste a gnocchi and I'm just pleased to have it in Balducci. You can actually order a three-pasta sampler if you are a light eater and you just want to try their different pastas. We got whole servings of the pasta though. After lunch, we had lavazza coffee, glorious crema floating on the surface - no more dessert needed.

Of course, nothing beats good company to come with the free meal. =)

Still Raving About Bikram Yoga

2008-03-07T22:53:00.000+11:00

Some thoughts on my Birkam Yoga practice:

I've been coming to class for almost 6 weeks now and I'm still loving it. I was able to go for 31 days straight (no make up class!) and then skipped 3 days (aww...sad) but now I'm back - I did my 12th straight class earlier tonight. Hey, it's probably the reason why I've been happier the past few weeks.

If not for my yoga practice, I wouldn't have realized I've been really slacking it off the past years. I wasn't as determined; I've probably become too resilient or complacent. I used to be able to take in so much information and remember so much details, could write papers, pleadings and stay up late - alert and awake, until the sun rises. After my law firm days, I allowed my mind and body a much needed break but this break could have become some sort of a hibernation.

And now, I'm rediscovering how much my body can do if only I put my mind into it. I've realized, I should no longer make excuses for my lazy, couch potato self. If I continue to read a LOT to enrich my mind, why should I keep myself from having a sound body? I want to live a longer, happier and fuller life!

I'm sticking to Bikram Yoga because it is difficult but yes, I can do it! It is one activity which is actually more mental than physical. At the end of the class, I'm more energized rather than tired, and my mind has been clear all throughout the day ever since I started. I remember my first class: I spent half of the time dizzy and lying down because I was not breathing properly. On my second day, I told myself that I will hold the postures no matter what. The next few days, I would tell myself that I love that pose whenever I'm tempted to drop the posture. I've struggled doing dandayamana janushirasana (standing head to knee pose) for weeks (I still struggle with it now) but I've discovered something the past couple of days: Sherie would always tell me whenever I fall out that I'm thinking too much. I've tried so hard doing the planting your feet firmly on the floor thing as taught by Ginger but I couldn't help dropping the pose each time I do it. Last Wednesday, I heard Al saying that all five fingers should be interlocked and hold the foot three inches below the fingers. He's been saying that since ages ago but somehow, it was only at that instance when it finally sank in. What I did was I indeed gripped the sole of my foot with my webbed two hands and viola! my knees was locking some more, my feet are not wiggling and I was able to hold the pose the entire time! Amazing. I was able to do the pose when I stopped getting sacred that I will drop the foot - I was so busy enough with the webbing to webbing thing with my hands that I forgot I was scared of the posture.

There are still a lot of postures which I could not do no matter how much I attempt to command my body (push those hips to your heels! argh!) but I look forward to doing something new every class. It is really true what they say about how yoga is all in the mind.

It also helps that I get additional tips from reading the book, "Bikram's Beginning Yoga Class." Chatting up my classmates, I headed their advice to breathe through the nose. I've learned how to listen and follow my teacher's instructions and, indeed, little by little, day by day, my practice improved. It helps a lot that my classmates are so supportive and they readily give advice on how to make my practice better. I'm even happier that I've made a lot of new friends, having attended all the schedules and met the regulars of each class (my favorite timeslot is still the 8pm, though). My yoga friends who've been coming to class for sometime are so supportive and encouraging, that is why whenever I see new people who are just starting their practice, I take time out to be friendly and encourage them too.

My teachers tirelessly and patiently monitor my progress (yes, they do!) even if there are so many of us. Ginger takes time out to give me a pep talk after class each time I approach her and air my concerns about my practice. Sherie believes in me and contantly pushes me to challenge myself to do the postures all the way. She would take time to demonstrate and refine our poses. Al pays so much attention in correcting my postures. The other day, I was so grateful to him when he walked me through doing toe stand: he went beside me and did toe stand with me, and yes, I did it. Well, I have a lot of refinement to do but the initial mental blockade has been overcome. I still couldn't balance on the floor without using my hands. Anyway, I know I will get there. Also, I think it was last Wednesday when he patiently taught me how to snap out of my lazy tuladandasana (balancing stick pose) - hehe. Wow! Yes, bikram yoga is so much fun because of all them!

The past few weeks have been so amazing for me. I now believe that something can pop out of the blue and change your life in the blink of an eye. All you have to do is welcome it when it comes.

Sala Restaurant in Locsin Building, Makati Ave.

2008-02-10T21:23:00.000+11:00

I had some sort of a food excursion with my friend last night. We've been hearing a lot about Sala Restaurant, this fine dining restaurant in Locsin Building where Lumiere used to be (I never go to try Lumiere) and so we finally went to sample it.

I actually like the restaurant. Away from the hustle and bustle of restaurants located in malls, even the ones in Greenbelt, it is a perfect place to have an intimate, relaxed, and peaceful dining experience. I don't think I ever experienced that kind of dining privacy, despite having a few other diners around. The restaurant seats just about 40. The table cloths and napkins are of the high thread count type, the dining implements tastefully selected. I liked the fact that the air conditioning wasn't set on high and you won't get your hair ruffled when it blows. Neither was it uncomfortably warm and you won't get out of the restaurant smelling like your recent meal.

We ordered an appetizer and a main course each. The waiters are well-groomed, polite and attentive in a subdued way. They kept out water goblets filled and you need not lift a finger, just eye contact, for you to be attended. We were served three types of bread which all tasted fresh and tasty, I could have eaten a lot more than I should. They also served a complimentary bruschetta with herbed cream cheese and tomato which was really flavorful.

The food was served quite late although I must say I didn't notice it much because I was enjoying the bread, bruschetta and the, uhm, ambiance which we paid for. (hehe) Our first appetizer was composed of a very tender guava wrapped in proscuitto and laced with sweet tamarind sauce. I must say it was a creative concoction and the saltiness of proscuito was effectively balanced by the sauce and the flavor of the guava fruit. The next appetizer, a special of the day, is the one I really liked. It has succulent, juicy, fresh portabella mushrooms with meat and cream, topping a light crust cup. I've always loved mushroom dishes and this one ranks among one of the best I've tasted.

My friend had a well-done grilled lamb tenderloins with sweet white onion risotto, grilled asparagus and salsa verde while I had medium-rare Rosemary grilled Angus beef bistro fillet horseradish potato cake with asparagus. We had a glass of Merlot from Chile with our main course - I would say, one of the better wines I've tasted. The serving was a bit huge and I found myself already nearly full after having my second piece of juicy, flavorful beef. I noticed I didn't need to put more salt or pepper because the dish just tasted right. Rightfully, the ingredients were evidently well-selected and I would say the taste was above-average. This dining experience actually made me realize that I prefer this over huge, dizzying and confusing buffets where you barely have time for a good conversation just because there is so much to eat and you are unable to enjoy and relish the taste.

Overall, it was a good experience, a fun-filled evening. If not for the steep price, I'd want to be back to sample their other dishes as well as their dessert.

Hooked on Bikram Yoga

2008-02-10T19:50:00.000+11:00

I haven't been blogging for sometime and here's why.

Since the day I started Bikram Yoga at Sundar Bikram Yoga Greenhills on 22 January 2008, I haven't missed a single class. Yes, not a single one. This morning I had my 20th consecutive class. When I need to go somewhere in the evening, I make it a point to wake up early and attend the 6:30 am class. Or when I am unable to do that, I schedule the event after 8 and attend the 5:30 pm class. I attend even on Saturdays and Sundays, yes I do. Why? Again, here's why.

I was never the athletic type who likes sweating a lot and craves for a really good work out. I've actually been a slouch potato for the past few years. It's either I see going to the cold, cold gym as a chore or would love swimming or badminton but gets discouraed by the aching body parts. Now, I could say I've finally found an activity which gives a lot of benefits to both my mind and body; it's really incredible.

Doing Bikram Yoga everyday made me eat less and drink more water. Everyday, I look forward to the class to see if I can do the poses properly. It's a good thing my instructors encourage us that even if we can't get that forehead to the knee yet, or head to the toes, we will get there eventually. To be able to do the poses properly, I've discovered that I should not have a full stomach at least 3 hours before the class. Add to that, I realized I could do bikram yoga better fi I didn't eat too much sweets, pastries and softdrinks included. I've also been drinking non-fat milk in the morning and before going to bed to give me confidence in giving my all in doing my favorite deepest backward bend, the Camel pose. Last night, I had a glass of Merlot and I can really feel its effects, and even smell it, while doing the poses this morning. I easily get off balance and nearly fell off while doing the standing head to knee pose. As for the water, my consumption has effortlessly increased to at least 2 liters and I take it immediately after class. I used to find it difficult to control my bladder after taking in so much water but not the past few days. I could very well be excreting the water through my sweat glands. I just love seeing sweat dripping from my elbows drip even while doing the first breathing exercises!

Having been working for almost 7 years now, and being relatively middle manager exercising a lot of discretion, also considering the nature of my profession, it is such a relief to reclaim the skill and discipline of listening and obeying - yes, obeying and not complaining (haha). When the instructor says breathe normal through your nose, then by all means do it. I was lucky to know that it is true, it make a world of a difference when I breathe inside the hot room - it really, really, really works. Sometimes I still get stubborn and contradict the "orders" by saying "I can't lock my knees!" but you know what, when I just do it, despite feeling the stretch, I've realized that indeed, I can do it! (My forehead nearly touched the floor this morning!)

I've made a lot of friends and my instructors are really encouraging. It is quite easy to make friends and just smile after sharing 90 minutes of doing a lot of hardwork. (Sherie, by the way cooks incredibly tasty Indian food: I sampled her curried mushroom and basmati rice on my first Saturday and it was so delicious I couldn't stop thinking about it the whole day! Funny girl, always with so much energy. Ginger is such a sweetheart - but she means business when she says you can't only wipe or drink water. I catch Al's classes most of the time and while he seems to make us hold the poses a few seconds longer, he takes pains to make sure we, individually, do the poses right. Some of my classmates say that it is more personalized in Greenhills than in other bikram yoga studios.) Even if I ache a bit in some parts of my body, concentrating on doing the poses eases it. It is most difficult when I take the 8 pm class and then go to the 6:30 am class the following day. Al is always right when he says we're tighter in the morning. So true!

I've been seeing results. I know that I now look different from the time I first saw myself in the mirror preparing for the half-moon pose and how I looked this morning. It is also so encouraging when my yoga classmates and even some of my friends tell me I've lost inches. Of course, the problem areas are the last to yield to my efforts but wow, my double chin has taken a leave (hopefully, it won't come back) and my nose seems narrower. Hahaha!!! My clothes fit better and while it makes me feel good about myself, I am a lot happier because I don't get easily tired, I sleep better, I am more focused, I eat better, I'm no longer sluggish - I can do more!

The yoga studio has also become sort of a sanctuary for me. I once had a massage on my first week and I realized it didn't help me a bit. The cold room made my muscles more sore and left me with a threatened stiff neck. Inside the yoga studio, I can relax while in savasana while waiting for the class to start. Sometimes, my classmates become chatty but I really don't mind cause the people are so friendly and so supportive. During class, all I hear is my teacher whose voice sometimes reverbrates in my ear even while I'm about to sleep telling me to "come down and push, push push... change." After class, everyone else quietly slips out of the room and would respect you while you enjoy several more minutes of precious and elusive peace and quiet - something which I realized I've been deprived of or I have deprived myself for the past couple of years.

The other day, after a stressful day at work, I realized that in the yoga studio, I can hoard all the peace and quiet I need to keep my mind off my worries - yes, it comes so naturally. I just love it.

P. S. I Love You

2008-01-26T20:08:00.000+11:00

Why do you always have to say "I Love You" at the last opportunity? P.S.

My friend Elgar sent me a link to the trailer of P.S. I Love You a couple of months back, and since I saw it I swear I'd watch that movie.

So this afternoon, I did. I watched it alone and I wondered if I had cried as much if I had seen it with someone. I don't know, I was probably caught at a sensitive time. I didn't bother wiping the tears, they just fell. Drop drop drop, they marked circles on my orange shirt.

This is obviously not a movie review but a sort of sharing...

It sounds so cliche but you'll really never know how much a person is worth in your life until you lose him/her. And it is so easy to magnify the wrongs, so easy to take him/her for granted cause he/she is always there.

Yun lang.

- May the Drama Queen

Bending and stretching for Bikram Yoga

2008-01-22T21:23:00.000+11:00

Tonight I attended a Bikram Yoga class. I was told that it was one of the more difficult types of yoga but I really had no idea how the class would go. It is hardly surprising that I will have a difficult time with it cause not only is the class conducted inside a heated room, I haven't done eny exercise aside from strolling around the malls for more than a year now.

It was a 90 minute class but it seemed like eternity. Half way through it, I wanted to quit but then the instructor knows how to handle sedentary quitters so I was subtly persuaded to stay. Nabola, ika nga.

Minutes into it, every sweat gland of my body was worked up. My skin was moisturized in the same way it would be if I slathered Body Shop's body butter thickly on it. I was given a fresh towel to line my yoga mat and I noticed half way that the towel quicly became drenched with sweat. It was a potent combination of the heated room and the challenging poses that made it so difficult and yes, fulfilling. I was initially a bit scandalized when, while I was waiting to be called at the waiting area for the start of classes, our instructor stepped out in his trunks, only his trunks, parading his body to be envied. I quickly saw the sense of it when we were all sweating profusely inside the sweltering hot room, puddles of sweat forming just about anywhere.

"This is the start of change... Think about what you can do for your body and your life... No one who has started this and stuck to it didn't get good results... It is more difficult the less fit you are, and all the bad things you do to your body makes it more difficult for you to do this.. But if you keep on attending, and work hard for it, things will change... I will not devote so much of my life int oit if I had not believed in it."

Or something to that effect.

I must say he handles the class well. He puts a lot of effort to correct our poses, and tells us techniques how to do things right. I was quick to warn him that I've never done any yoga in my life and that I haven't been exercising. And so, after the class, everybody knew that I was "May" as he would call my attention quite frequently - "May, you have to relax, May, you have to breathe correctly, May, you do this. I appreciate it all , of course. He did say that I did quite well for someone who's doing the class for the first time. Geesh, that's so good to hear.

Needless to say, after dizzy spells and outbalanced poses, I finished the class, and yes, felt really, really good about it. I'll be back tomorrow.

Let's deal with the sore muscles later.

Big Girls Don't Cry

2007-12-30T13:07:00.000+11:00

Da Da Da Da
The smell of your skin lingers on me now
You're probably on your flight back to your home town
I need some shelter of my own protection baby
To be with myself and center, clarity
Peace, Serenity

I'm gonna be a "big girl" next year.
I'm gonna do a lot of things I've never done before.
I'm looking forward to getting a place of my own, which I'm going to spurce up, and clean up.

No curfews.

I'm getting out of my comfort zone of having a driver, and having a mommy to prepare packed lunches. I'll be paying for my bills, I'll be cooking my meals, I'll be washing and pressing my clothes. I'm gonna have to figure out how to work the rice cooker. I have to spend for everything on a limited budget.

I won't see my dear friends for a long time.

My mom will surely miss me, but she has taken an interest in using the computer and will soon be using Skype quite proficiently soon.

I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do

My mom, though with difficulty, is being a "big girl" herself by being supportive. She really makes an effort to unlearn her separation anxiety when it comes to us her kids. I think she understands that while it seems I'm wriggling out of her folded motherly wings, there is nothing wrong with her. I might not say it but she is perfect. And I love her. I need to let her know.

As for my friends, we'll keep in touch. I'm sure.

And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now

It's about time.

And big girls don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry

I will try not to.

The path that I'm walking
I must go alone
I must take the baby steps 'til I'm full grown, full grown

The mere thought of living alone in a new city exhilarates me. Of course, I must admit that I'm looking at acquaintances and friends to help me. I need to know that I have someone who will let me swim into the current and yet, I know, will throw me an inflatable, or even pluck me out just to keep my from drowning. Yes, knowing I have that makes me a bit braver.

Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they?
And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay

Of course, things could, as much as I won't want them to, go wrong.

I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry

Who knows I might even find love? Meet someone? (Bring white dress then? Haha!)

Like the little school mate in the school yard
We'll play jacks and uno cards
I'll be your best friend and you'll be my Valentine

But I will guard my heart

Yes you can hold my hand if you want to
'Cause I want to hold yours too

as much as I can.

We'll be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds

But I know what I'm in Sydney for.

But it's time for me to go home
It's getting late, dark outside
I need to be with myself and center, clarity
Peace, Serenity

To be a big girl.

I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry

La Da Da Da Da Da

The fruit and the seed

2007-12-25T19:19:00.000+11:00

It is near the end of the day, another Christmas passes. It was a particularly tiring Christmas season, physically and emotionally as well. I was pleased that I had several hours of rest, just staying home and leisurely chatting with family members. There were a few incidents which almost made me decide to just hole up inside the house and not perform the usual Christmas obligations of receiving Christmas well-wishers, or more accurately, namamasko. (I got irked when I heard that there was someone who was claiming to be my inaanak, when I know I keep track of my godchildren, listing down their names and other birth details. Of course, there are my godchildren who are children of really close friends and there are those who get me as their child's god parent just because. There was an instance I got a surprise invitation to be ninang, on the day of the child's binyag, and at the same time borrowed the family van. Kainis, cause she made me feel I was being made ninang just so she could borrow the car. Hay.)

Good thing I spoke to a friend who gave me good counsel, so I went on visiting our relatives who live nearby. It was good decision, cause they received me well and we were able to catch up. I thought I had lost the Christmas spirit of giving and loving. And yet I know I could have given more and loved more.

Searching for answers and yes, admonition, I sought the Bread of Life, and found this.

“This is the meaning of the parable: The seed is the word of God. 12Those along the path are the ones who hear, and then the devil comes and takes away the word from their hearts, so that they may not believe and be saved. 13Those on the rock are the ones who receive the word with joy when they hear it, but they have no root. They believe for a while, but in the time of testing they fall away. 14The seed that fell among thorns stands for those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by life’s worries, riches and pleasures, and they do not mature. 15But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop. John 8:11-15 (TNIV)

I fear that I may have been one who heard but does not allow the seed to grow in me because of distractions: worries, doubt, fear, hurt, comforts and privileges. I do not want this, no.

And so, here is my prayer for 2008: Oh Lord, make a good soil. Make me bear good fruit.

Amen.

Wrng Speling

2007-12-24T22:22:00.000+11:00

Now, I'm sure reading that gave you a headache.

As I write this, I have heaps (well, just a small heap) of unwrapped gifts waiting for my attention in our living room. Talk about procrastinating at Christmas time. These are gifts for inaanaks and relatives who I'll see tomorrow on Christmas day. Also bunched along with the unwrapped gifts are gifts I bought for my other inaanaks, already wrapped but I haven't written on the card.

Some of the gifts I bought from Rustan's, and so I had to take out that small piece of paper on which a description of the gift was written. Here us just some of what they wrote, I'll see if you can guess what the gifts are:

1. berr
2. gerup
3. cup O.C. - the box is a rectangular one which in no way would fit a cup
4. cuplings

Anybody hazard a guess what the gifts are?

Okay. Not to prolong your agony, here they are:

No. 1 is not an alcoholic beverage (wala nun sa Rustan's) but a fluffy animal, usually brown, and Mr. Bean has one;

No. 2 is also a stuffed animal with a very long neck; and

No. 3 is a beret, which is not even a cap.

No. 4, you have to guess. Really.

I couldn't help but roll laughing when I read these. How on earth will I be able to know which gifts are for whom if I had not remembered what are the stuff I bought. I particularly had a hard time figuring out No. 3. O.C. stands for Oleg Cassini, by the way.

My friend also told me that he went to Powerbooks and asked the customer service to search for books about the Supreme Court. He got into an argument as the girl spelled "Supreme" as "Supream." Sigh.

Come to think of it, this is really not a laughing matter. Considering that most of these stores hire those who are at lease high school graduates, it is alarming that they were able to finish 10 years of schooling not being able to spell "cap," "bear" and "giraffe" correctly. It makes me wonder if these people are able to read, or maybe reading is easier to learn than spelling. I'm not nitpicking at English skills as they could very well be bright and smart but not good in English. The thing is their lack of proficiency speaks of the quality of teaching they receive. Who knows if they are being taught proper math? No wonder less and less public school student are able to pass the UPCAT. This is really bad.

Last kuwento. I was following up the repairshop on the repair of a friend's car. When asked, the account officer told me that the car has already been brought to the "tint mint." Not being too familiar with car repairs, I asked her to repeat to me where the car has been brought, and also asked her what a "tint mint" is. Yun daw ang tawag nila dun. Hmn... Okay, since I was gonna email the update to my friend, I asked her to spell for me "tint mint." Exasperated, she nonetheless indulged me in my request. So she goes:

T-I-N-S-M-I-T

Huh? There seems to be something wrong, so I asked her to spell it again. She does but she helps me a bit by saying, "yung sa latero, Ma'am." Oh! Tinsmith! Geesh. She gave me the number of the person in charge of the repair, I thanked her, put down the phone and started laughing. I'm so bad! When I called the guy who was in charge, he said that indeed, the car was with the tinsmith.

Oh well...

Hey, Merry Christmas everyone!!!

Lea Salonga in Rogers and Hammerstein's Cinderella

2007-12-23T23:04:00.000+11:00

Tickets are now available online at Ticketnet.

This year

2007-12-15T21:24:00.000+11:00

This has been an incredible year.

I started the year with an attempt to spend a few of my free hours as a volunteer of an NGO but it is just too bad their schedule seems to be custom fit for college students who have free time on their hands during weekends. Since I've already alloted my weekends to my Chinese classes at the Confucius Institute, I was left with no time left for it and had to give it up. Maybe until the next opportunity for volunteerism comes along...

Speaking of my Chinese classes, I was able to finish up to Level 3 of Basic Mandarin and was able to use a bit of it in Hong Kong. I started Level 4 but since I had a lot of social activities in the second half of the year, I decided to give it up too. Geesh. At least I know when to stop.

Oh, speaking of stopping. For this year, I had two (2) dates, one of which became a friend at least. Stop. That's not bad. And so, zero (0) boyfriend but still, lots and lots of friends. Happy!

I got hooked on Facebook, I saw lots of movies (finally watched an Imax movie, I loved Stardust, and I wouldn't forget the Australian Filmfest movies), listened to a lot of songs (my favorites for this year are When It Was Over by Sara Groves and Umbrella by Rihanna), watched a few plays (Zsazsa Zaturnnah again, and Romolus D'Grayt), read a few good books, bought nice clothes and shoes (three cheers for Tung Chung a.k.a. City Gate outlet stores!!!), tried new restaurants (notable ones are People's Palace, Gaudi, and the life-saving Tsui Wah), and of course, I got to travel to Hong Kong and went to HK Disneyland!

On the professional front, things are kinda slow in the office and I know that I could have done things better. But then again, there are a lot of things going on in the office which my duty as lawyer proscribes me to write about it. Never mind. Erase.

I really have nothing to complain about. The love and care of friends were much felt this year. I was invited to four (4) weddings (Lisa's, where I was maid of honor, Annelle's, China's, and Alfred's), got three (3) new godchildren (Asti, Atheena, Celine), listened to an equal number of raves and rants (hey, not bad), made new friendships (Maritel, Djong), renewed old ties (Amer, Grace, Kiten, my Facebook friends: Winlawers and ex-SyCip friends), and fortified existing ones (Monette, PLIFS, my dear blockmates, my kumares and kumpares, Tara, Mai, Gerrome & Cel). Even if I sometimes sob about being left behind by friends who have their own lives, their own quirks and faults, truth is I know that they really love and appreciate me, and they really exert so much effort to be there for me. I love you guys!

Special mention must be made about this friendship which I believe I have strengthen this year - my friendship with Him. He's always been there, waiting for me, trying to catch my attention and always waiting for me to listen to what He has to say. It is just simply amazing that He found a way to reach me. Even though I get too caught up with myself at times, I just reach for His word and, believe me, he tells me exactly what I need to hear. I wouldn't say I was nicer this year, in a nice vis-a-vis naughty Santa Claus sense. It is just that he made it easier to get up after the fall this year. When I get lonely, when I feel my dear friends are caught up in their own lives and I am left alone, after some fine tuning, it was easier to "tune-in" to him. Really, He's always ready to listen, and believe me, He speaks to me. it makes me smile when I think about it. =)

And speaking of Him, he has also opened a lot of doors for me this year. I believe that there is a reason why he gave me the gift, the responsibility, and the opportunity to study in Sydney next year. Every step that I took to get into the school and get the scholarship, he led me into touching other people's lives. I learned how good it feels to hold someone's hand in a journey (Chester, we made it and I owe you a lot! I am happy and grateful to be your dear, dear friend). I renewed ties with dear old friends and bosses. I discovered the goodness in the heart of people I did not expect such kindness from. I learned to be patient and forgiving. I took a big leap out of my comfort zone by learning to trust on Him that he will pour forth his blessings. It is really amazing. I believe that even if I did not get the scholarship, I would still be as grateful as I am today. The entire experience is already a blessing in itself. Now that almost all is set, I am preparing myself how I can make use of this opportunity to be a worthy servant to Him.

I am not scared. I trust in Him. I trust in the love of my family and friends. I am so blessed.

When He Called Me

2007-10-29T18:38:00.000+11:00

As soon as I stepped inside, I knew I should have been frequenting it more often.

Last Sunday, I woke up, took a bath and headed for church. Sounds like the usual stuff any one would do on a Sunday but I must confess, I haven't been regularly attending church these past few months. I know, it is something to be ashamed of, and I am really ashamed of it. I don't even have any excuse for it - I was simply lazy, and probably, proud - not admitting that I have not been showing my God my love enough. Truly shameful indeed. I could take the time to get dressed and meet up with friends, watch a movie and extend a lot of favors to others but the very thing that I should be on top of my list, I neglect, I ignore, I take for granted. I am writing about this now because I've realized that I should come clean about it, in the hope that my public repentance would elicit more support.

I was even more ashamed when the mass started with the singing of the opening hymn. Behind me was a young man who was visibly delayed or has stagnated in mental development. He was singing his heart out, singing his praise, full of joy and gratitute for being able to participate in worshiping God. My tears fell, and they fell out of shame, out of repentance, and yes, out of gratitude. I was shamed because because here is someone, another one of God's child, who is not commonly perceived by others as blessed, can show that much love towards God. I became repentant after realizing that I have so many things to be grateful for, and yet, I happily go on with my life neglecting to express how much I love my God. Because I love my God, but these days, I've placed my love for self above him. It is not enough that I love others fervently, consistently. Above everyone else, no one deserves my love more than Him. I pray. Sometimes I pray a lot. I pray for others. I pray with gratitude. I pray with hope. I pray with trust. Sometimes, I feed on his word though I wish I was nourishing my soul with his word more. Still, nothing compares to worshiping with fellow believers. Their faith is infectious, it infuses me with strength and strenthens my trust in Him. If I love God, I will not want to be away from him. I will always want to be near him. To be near him, however, we need to be strong in our faith and to be strong in our faith, we need others.

The homily was about humility, and indeed, I needed to be reminded of it. Nothing that I have now is of my own doing; they are all blessings from God. As they are all from Him, they gave them to me so I will be able to do what he intends me to do, my purpose in this world, my purpose at this very moment.

God must really love me. He called me last Sunday, invited me to his house, and I went. I'm just so glad I did.

Have a blessed day to all.

Fw: Don't Panic! (A Glorietta2-Bombing-Experience)

2007-10-22T11:36:00.000+10:00

Here's one account of the Glorietta bombing. This is not scary.

Link

In Search for the Perfect Lip and Cheek Tint

2007-10-17T10:51:00.000+10:00

I was in a hunt for the perfect lip and cheek tint - one that can be used to bring a rosy glow to your cheeks and a healthy, delicious yet natural red to your lips - for months. The first lip and cheek tint that I used was Philosophy The Supernatural Lip and Cheek Tint (in supernatural color, as oppossed to superneutral and superplum) which I bought from Beauty Bar in 2003 and I really loved it because of its color, consistency and lasting effect. It was just too bad it was quite pricey, around P800. When I used up the entire tube, I was lucky to find that The Body Shop also has a lip and cheek stain which was less expensive and was even sold buy one, take one, every once in a while. While Philosophy's was superior, The Body Shop's was also good. Until they repackaged it and made it almost as expensive as Philosophy's. I found the reformulated product inferior as it was thinner in consitency and didn't last long. I used up about 5 tubes of the former lip and cheek stain of The Body Shop and a tube of the reformulated one before I stopped and decided to find another lip and cheek tint that would suit my taste.

Here comes Cheeky Tints by ModelCo in rose red. The tint has a pleasant fruity smell, thicker and stays longer. It even spreads better than the other products I tried. The product description says that "cheeky tint will never leak or stain your precious purse. The cap locks tightly in place, pushing the brush head against the tube and securing the seal so no product can be released." If that's the case, why did I find some cheeky tint inside the cap? Apparntly, the product oozed out of the tube. Well, it did no stain to my pouch or bag but I now feel insecure whether I should place it along with my other cosmetics. What if it get squezed again? I just thought it was a pity that the product is so good but the packaging wasn't. Oh well, I can used a lip brush to get to the "spilled" tint. I would still say that this is a very good product, and its tag price of P1400 - though quite pricey is worth it.

Prayer for the Right Person

2007-09-24T16:08:00.000+10:00

A friend of mine gave me a copy of her wedding misalette which also contained several prayers, including one which is a prayer for the "right person." Twenty days before my 31st birthday, I will not deny that the nagging question why I, unlike most of my friends, haven't had an honest to goodness, official, rewarding and loving romantic relationship reverberates in my head. I had a copy of that misalette but lent it to another friend who, at that time, had broken up with her fiance. Now she swears by the words of wisdom and the prayers included in the misalette as she is now happily in a relationship unlike the ones she's had before, those which always made her feel that there is something more she could or ought to have. Another friend also shared with me another prayer for the choice of spouse, meant to be prayed every day. I really appreciate my friend's thoughtfulness and concern; I must have sounded desperate and exasperated, tired of waiting and questioning why things are not happening the way I want them to. Perhaps their prayers for me were answered when, after writing this personal prayer, I became at peace with myself. Here is my prayer:

Lord, I offer you this day with gratitude and praise. You know my heart's desires and my longing to be with someone who would love me, and in turn, I could love with my whole being. Despite my own choice, I dedicate my heart to you Lord and I affirm that to be pleasing to you is my life goal. I surrender to you my heart and I offer it to you in full submission, obedience and trust that you will give me that person who will help me fulfill my purpose in life which is to be Christ-like. Lead me towards that person Lord, and bestow on me the grace of the Holy Spirit so that as I walk towards that path that leads me to the right person, I will be molded into someone who is also capable of leading him towards a life with you at its center. I pray this with humility and acceptance that your will is sovereign, and with full, child-like trust that you will take care of me so that ultimately I will be led towards you and your Kingdom. Amen.

Jude Sudario (1974-2007)

2007-08-10T01:37:00.000+10:00

It was during the summer of 1997 when I first met Jude. Having passed the written Law Aptitude Exam, we had our interview on the same day, him being a Sudario and me, a Tan. (In between us were Supapo and Talbo, who would later on become Alpha Phi Beta's Lord Chancellor, like Jude.)

I remember Jude coming out of the interview room furious after he had a "legal" argument with one of the interviewers who would later turn out to be his professor in 4 subjects or in the so-called "four Sisons." Of course, notwithstanding the argument, Jude was admitted to the College of Law and was "raffled off" to Section A while I got the scrabble piece "C", hence I went to Section C. During our freshman week in July of 1997, Jude did an impersonation of "Ah Chong", a "Chinaman" who killed a person after being started and awoken from his slumber. Jude was garbed in costume, brandishing a bolo - swaying it violently. Jude did well in school, his brilliance showing in his grades. When we graduated, he was one of those who was awarded the Order of the Purple Feather for academic excellence.

Even if we weren't close friends, his birth date was one of those I'll remember as it was also the anniversary of the July 16 earthquake. Every year, I would send him a birthday greeting and he would respond with appreciation. When I heard from one of his fraternity brods in Alpha Phi Beta that he was diagnosed to have stage 4 colon cancer, I didn't know if it was proper to send him a message or just to pretend that I didn't know. Finally, on his birthday this year, I found the opportunity to send him a message. I greeted him a happy birthday and told him that I'm always praying for him. I also sent him a passage from the Bible. This was Jude's reply to me:

"Thank you, may, for remembering. Prayers are my lifeblood and strength."

I did not delete his message, and I couldn't get to myself delete it even up to now.

Nineteen days after his 33th birthday, Jude passed away. In the days that followed, his fraternity brods, friends and us, his batchmates in law school, bid him goodbye. His body was then flown to Tacloban City where he will be laid to rest this Sunday, August 12.

During the necrological services by our batch, his blockmate and close friend Joan Liban delivered a eulogy which was injected with wit and humor. Even if we were before his body, the laughter was unavoidable as we had good memories of Jude's own wit and humor. More laughter echoed throughout the chapel as the slideshow of their block's pictures was shown - it showed their pictures, some taken ten years ago - when most of us were several pounds lighter.

Jude's passing away is a reminder of our mortality - after all, we are all at the ascent of our carreers, six years after hurdling law studies and most of us having stable jobs and/or have started our own families. Things are indeed looking great for most of us - things were doing great for Jude. He had a loving wife, and two wonderful children - pretty and precocious Gabby and adorable Patrick. Jude had his name on the Articles of Partnership of a very promising firm, his partnership guaranteed in a matter of years. His family relied much on him to run the family business in Tacloban. He probably had a lot of plans, a lot of dreams.

At this time, we all have a lot of plans and a lot of dreams. But we are mortals and no matter what we say, our own lives may very well end at a time we least expect. The moment we pass away, our worldly possessions would no longer matter; we could no longer touch them, we no longer need them. The law degree that we obtained through blood, sweat and tears will be stripped from us - we will no longer be someone else's master, nor we will be someone else's slave. All we bring with us is our soul and the love of those whose lives we've touched.

I refuse to say that Jude's life ended last Saturday. Rather, Jude simply shed his earthly body to start another life anew. I take comfort at the fact that Jude was able to prepare for his passing, and is now rid of any pain. He has conquered death.

And now, we move on with our lives aware of our mortality, having in mind to keep life simple and surround us with what matters most.

Until we see you again, Jude.

Diffuse

2007-08-01T09:37:00.000+10:00

I've been keeping a journal since I was 13 and I try to write my thoughts as often as I can. Normally, I have one journal entry per day, or at least try to catch up when I get into the mood. I realized I haven't been writing on my journal, or on my blog for quite sometime now, probably because I was preoccupied with writing several essays for my application for a scholarship. It seems my mind can only be squeezed to write up to some point.

And so, it feels good to be writing right now. It diffuses whatever emotion I'm grappling with this moment. Trying to rationalize to dilute disappointment is always hard - it is a wrestling match between the objective and the subjective: other people's and my feelings, priorities, realities. I can only sigh, that's all I can do, and hope later on that something else will distract me from whatever it is I'm trying to deal with right now.

It has been ten years since I turned my back on the pursuit of psychology as a profession in favor of law school. Back then, I used to think that I understood my feelings and other people better because of the theories in psychology which I learned. Flooding my brain with the law seems to have eased out the theories from my gray matter. I can still try though, and here's what my shrink self would tell myself:

If the emotion is strong, attempt to weaken it by performing a certain behavior. Say or example, smile. Smile and your nerves will send a signal to your brain, activating the neurons which normally act up when you perceive a sensation which tells your brain to retrive the happy hormones and then send a message to your facial muscles to widen the opening of your lips, horizontally, narrow your eyelids, and tighten the muscles on your cheeks. Keep on doing this and yes, you will feel happy, even a bit. If you keep on doing this behavior, you will eventually modify the strong emotion. It needs a lot of work especially if the emotion is really, really strong. Good for me, it's only disappointment for today.

You should try it.

In the meantime, you don't change the situation - I still didn't have it my way. The thing that didn't happen, still won't happen. But probably, you wouldn't mind as much as you did earlier.

Gee... it works!

Wow Trinoma!

2007-06-18T13:22:00.000+10:00

Since its soft opening on May 16, 2007, I've never set foot in Trinoma, which stands for Triangle North of Makati. I initially mistook it to be the "Triangle North of Manila" even if I thought it was wrong because that area (formerly called the North Triangle) is really east of Manila. I guess Ayala found it best to make Makati the reference point because really, it is the center of its business.

I've heard so many reviews about Trinoma, evidently less positive than the initial reviews of the SM Mall of Asia and probably because the view of the Manila Bay is so captivating that all the other inconveniences of MOA when it opened, aside from the parking, can be easily ignored. With Trinoma, the public was let in on an unfinished, still smelling of cement and paint building. And of course, I wondered what view of the Quezon City area would Ayala offer to lure people inside. I've also wondered why a solid wall faces EDSA and the not so pretty sight of the parking lot faces the SM North Edsa. It is probably why I've delayed my first visit to Trinoma. If not for my friend who is from Las Piñas who wanted see it, I would not have been there this weekend.

Both of us being totally new to the place, we found the place confusing. It is a good thing that properly trained security personnel/ushers can be seen everywhere and would cheerfully point you to the right direction. This is one case where you would be relieved that security services were outsourced and thus, properly handled. We took the Mindanao multi-level parking and found our slot, after so many detours. Next, we tried to find the comfort rooms. Again, thanks to the guards, we found it but we could have found our way if there were signs which pointed to the right direction. At that point, I thought that Trinoma could very well be called the "Confusing Triangle North of Makati." The lay-out of the mall resembles that of confusing Glorietta and the center atrium reminds you of Market! Market! About half of the shops are still closed but based on the "soon to open" signs you'll know that it would have most of the stores which I used to go to Makati and Ortigas for.

Me and my friend were still not too impressed until we got to the mall's main entrance. Apparently, we entered the mall from the back. As it turns out, Ayala laid out the plans for Trinoma, placing the main entrance and the viewing deck to have a view of the still lush with trees Veteran's Hospital and Golf Course, with the mountains of Rizal in the foreground. It is such a great idea! It offers a fresh view of Quezon City, far from its image as the site of Payatas or its slums. You can still see the Agham Road blight, if you just look carefully.

More than the great choice for frontage, to me, the brilliance of Ayala Land can be again seen in the water feature which they installed in Trinoma. From the ground floor to the third floor, water flows down in a steady stream starting from the fourth level, transformed into small waterfalls at each level until it reaches the large waterfall in the ground level. From the ponds in each floor, there are pressurized water fountains which sprouts water up the ponds, up to each level, and upstream. The water finds its way up to the 4th level (where the cinemas are) where there is a small lake (still under construction) surrounded by plants and crossed by foot bridges. At night, the water feature of Trinoma is even lovelier and more enchanting - an "attractive nuissance."

I stayed in Trinoma for several hours - almost 8 hours, I think, seeing some friends and familiar faces. My friend from Las Piñas left around 4:30pm and I was joined by another friend shortly after she left. As we left the mall, it became clear why Trinoma faces the corner of Mindanao Avenue and North Avenue. Since you can access the MRT directly through it, and even passengers riding the FX and taxis can use that EDSA entrance, the layout of Trinoma has the effect of directing the crowd away from SM City North EDSA. By positioning its not so pretty parking area to face SM, Ayala's Trinoma was actually graphically showing SM its behind.

Having seen it for myself, Trinoma is certainly a welcome improvement to Quezon City, no doubt. As for me, I'm just so glad I wouldn't have to go that far to get a cup of Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf's chai tea latte. And I have to see that fountain again.

Shifting Gears

2007-05-31T20:02:00.000+10:00

Things happened so fast.

A few days ago, I was doing election lawyering in a sleepy rural town and now, I have already submitted one pending application to study in Australia to obtain an LLM. In fact, the written documentation which I was required to submit after accomplishing the application form online (and paying an application fee of 50 Australian dollar) are already inside a properly labeled envelope, ready for mailing tomorrow. I will do the mailing myself so as to check what is the most expeditios and yet economical means to send these documents. Good thing I've kept all my academic records in order so I did not have to turn over my entire room just to look for them. See previous blog.

After I drop by the friendly neighborhood post office, I will walk a few meters to where the British Council is to register for the June 16, 2007 IELTS exam. Just to take that exam, I have to shell out more than 8,000 pesos (Ouch! There goes part of my election lawyering fees.)! I find it ridiculous that I have to take that exam just to prove my English proficiency when I know that I CAN clearly express myself in English. What is more ridiculous is I can even write better English that I can in Filipino.

I am overwhelmed. Now I have something to look forward to in three week's time. If I get an offer from this school, that is my passport to being able to submit an application to get a scholarship cause without that scholarship, I really could not afford to study in Australia. Meantime, I will take that IELTS exam, get the results in 10 days (I hope they keep to that schedule!), take care of my essays, get the referree reports, and submit my application to the two target scholarships online and make the July 31, 2007. and I thought the only thing I'll look forward to in July 2007 is Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows!

Let me catch my breath. This is gonna be big.

Cold

2007-05-28T18:59:00.001+10:00

Sometimes, I think dementors are real. It has been unusually cold the past few days - for a day in May that is, and I start to think of warm cups of liquid and soft-sweet baked goodies to make me feel, well, warm. The thing is, one thought after the other, I couldn't point to that one (or two) thing/s that can make we enjoy having to warm myself in this cool weather. Is it a cup of milk tea along with a serving of coffee bun at Kopi Roti? Not. Or probably a tall glass of Chai Tea Latte or Moroccan Latte with a plate of fresh, delicious salad from Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf? I don't think so. How about a cup of Seattle's Best Cafe Mocha, piping hot and yummy looking with that chocolate stick resting on its brim? Hmn... not today. Could it be another cup of - this is not exactly warm - Fruits in Ice Cream in choco mint with bits of berries? I just had that last Saturday, not craving for it much right now. On any other day, an offer to have any of these comfort foodies would spur me to run in that direction. But now, I don't really know what I want. To be wrapped in a bundle of thick and warm comforter perhaps? A call from a friend?

Indelible: Chronicles of my Election Adventures - Part Two

2007-05-28T16:07:00.000+10:00

But if TV series have books 1 and 2, my abruptly abbreviated election lawyering got a reprive when, at nearly midnight of May 16, a Wednesday, while I was leisurely chatting with a friend on the phone, another friend sent me a text message asking for reinforcements for the canvassing of votes in a municipality in a province in Luzon which is under COMELEC control (read: election hotspot). Without batting an eyelash, I said yes and even volunteered another friend who was also part of my original legal team for my candidate friend. In a few hours, on May 17, I packed my bags and trooped to the hotspot. Work started at 8am and the day ended at 11:30pm. It was grueling and contrary to earlier representations of our friends whom we relieved, the canvassing of the remaining 30 election returns wouldn't be a breeze and as it turned out, it would be our task to exclude a couple of questionable election returns, thus causing delay in the canvassing. While being at the receiving end of hurls and accusations of employing "dilatory tactics" (read: delaying unreasonably the canvassing), and after engaging in exhausting verbal tussles with the chairman of the BOC and the opposing counsels, inside a room where a few feet away are armalite-toting soldiers, the canvassing was successfully railroaded by the Chairman of the BOC towards the end. We argued, we pleaded, I even played good cop to no avail. We retreated back to our candidate's headquarters, but not without wading our way through dozens of soldiers and members of the anti-riot squad. Our candidate lost by a mere 21 votes.

I didn't know how lucrative election practice is until I actually accepted an engagement. Well, even if I had known, I would still have rendered legal service to my friend for free nonetheless. In the case of my second candidate for this election, I felt that I had to bleed myself dry for every peso I earned. And in fact, the money that was paid to us literally came from each and every grain of rice sold at our client's store for the day. It was back-breaking, emotionally excruiciating and morally challenging. Probably one of the remarkable events of the day was when the villified Chairman earnestly told me, during recess, "maiipit ako" in response to my pleas for him to simply follow the rules set forth in the COMELEC resolution, after admitting that I was right about the rules I was citing. Imagine, what he was really telling me was he knows we are in the right in insisting on a certain rule but he cannot follow the COMELEC rule because "maiipit" sya? And the naive me even asked him why. Later on, my candidate's campaign manager pointed out that during the canvassing, the goons of the incumbent mayor, against whom our candidate is up against, were already inside the small canvassing area, apparently intimidating the Chairman.

It again broke my heart to realize that in order to be successful in protecting my client's interest during canvassing against cheating, there is no other way but to question the integrity of the BEI - the teachers. My heart goes out for them and in this particular case, specifically for the teacher who, when called by the BOC to explain, I was able to make her admit that she wrongfully opened the ballot box after counting but before reaching the premises of the reception and custody group inside the municipal hall. I know that no matter how much I apologize for it, as in fact I couldn't even do that, she would not understand that I was just doing my job, that it wasn't personal. A friend pointed out, and he is so right - nothing is not personal during elections - everything is.

And so I survived the 2007 elections. After my friend lost and conceded, I told his other friend that, seeing how elections was actually conducted in the Philippines and finding out what winning entails - it was like waking up from a dream. He has long been awake, he told me. As for my actual experience at canvassing, it was like a nightmare - and the ghosts were all inside me. If there was something which brought out the worst in me, morally that is, it was this experience. I wouldn't dismiss it as unnecessary or something I actually regret - it was enlightening, it was like passing through fire, it made me open my eyes to a lot of things about the world, Philippine politics in particular, and about myself. I gained new friends and rediscovered the value of the friends that I have.

Indeed, I will be more ready next time.

Indelible: Chronicles of my Election Adventures

2007-05-21T17:50:00.000+10:00

For the 5th time in my life, I voted in the 2007 senatorial and local elections. Since registering as a voter in 1994, I haven't missed exercising my right to vote. (Come to think of it, I have actually voted seven times because I did vote in the barangay elections in 2002 as well as the recall elections in Caloocan...)

This time was different altogether because I made a decision to help my friend who is running for the position of congressman in our district. As early as last year, I was already giving him advice on election related matters and this went on until the early part of the year - from the details that he should include in his certificate of candidacy, to the correct size of his campaign posters. For several months before the elections, I would carry around with me my compilation of election reading materials - the law, the handy outlines and the current resolutions of the Commission on Elections, ready to answer my candidate's questions anytime. Not only that, I asked around for help from friends who have done actual election work (as I had never actually done it since I was not yet a lawyer in 2001, and I was a government employee in 2004). Some friends we indifferent but I did found friends who were so eager and willing to help - thank God for them. I met with my candidate's other legal adviser-friends and shortly organized a legal team. I was pointed to his campaign coordinators and I quickly started working with them. I learned how many registered voters were there in our district, the number of voting centers (the schools), the number of barangays, and the number of precincts (classrooms where the voters actually vote).

My candidate had five opponents, though later on we found out that there is a sixth candidate who used to be a friend of my candidate who had an ax to grind against him. It was rumored that he was paid to file his certificate of candidacy and that there were plans to have him substituted by someone who had the same surname as my candidate, ala Alan Peter Cayetano and Joselito "Peter" Cayetano. Under Philippine election laws, a candidate may withdraw and be substituted by another candidate after filing his certificate of candidacy so long as the substitute is nominated by the same political party. No surprise that the sixth candidate was nominated by that prominent political party in the 80s notorious for its "new sense" candidates. The Comelec actually stated in its resolution that as far as the May 14, 2007 elections is concerned, substitution due to withdrawal should be done not later than May 7, 2007. Thankfully, that day came and ended without any substitution. It was also a relief that the campaign between and among the 5 serious candidates was not characterized by mudslinging and black propaganda, relatively that is. There was an instance when my candidate was rumored to have withdrawn from the campaign but the other candidates were also not spared from such misinformation drive.

The election week came. I spent the weekend before that excited as I have never been excited the past couple of years (other than occasional lovelife related excitements, of course). As my candidate had limited financial resources for his campaign, he was not able to maximize fielding watchers for each and every polling precinct. Someone pointed out that getting watchers is actually a legalized form of vote-buying - cause really, these recruited persons could potentially snowball and expand the candidate's network of supporters through the watcher's family, neighbors and friends. Of course, I also learned during the course of this campaign and through anecdotes relayed by friends that watchers actually collect per diems from more than one candidate and make the elections a money making activity - well, apparently it really is. But going back to my candidate, aside from the lack of watchers, he ran without a political party and would not have the right to have a watcher present inside the polling precinct during counting. Of course, we also wouldn't have a copy of the election return - in seven copies, color coded and in carbonized paper, the size of a half illustration board - where the members of the board of election inspectors (the "BEI") or what the teachers are called, write the names of the candidates for all positions and tally their votes after the election and during the counting using the sticks - four vertical lines with the fifth line drawn diagonally across, or the taras, as referred to in the law. The limited watchers that my candidate had were tasked to obtain what is called the certificate of votes which would indicate the names of the candidates and their corresponding votes, signed by the members of the BEI, in lieu of the election returns.

And so, the election day went on, reportedly glitch free. Unlike the previous elections, the city treasurer's office was able to release the election paraphernalias to the teachers in time for the 7am start of the voting. After the precincts closed at 3pm, the BEI naturally took a break and had refreshments before proceeding with the counting which is conducted by opening the ballot box, retrieving the ballots inside and reading them one by one, reflecting its contents on the election returns. The counting reportedly went on until 5am the following day, with the classrooms turned polling precincts unfree from being peppered with power failures as the counting proceeded - yep, some things never change, and the old style apparently still en vogue.

Meanwhile, the legal team awaited the start of the the collating of the votes from all the precincts, or what is called canvassing to be done by the Board of Canvassers (the "BOC") which is composed of representatives from the local COMELEC, the city prosecutor's office, and the division schools superintendent. Under the law, the BOC was supposed to start doing its job at 6pm but since the counting at the precincts would not have been finished by then, the BOC actually starts working the following morning. In our case, we waited for two hours outside the locked-up city hall, with ants milling around us, gamo-gamos swarming around us as we sit on the still very warm concrete pavements across the city hall, very near the spot where I used to hang around when I was still in high school. At 8pm, someone relayed to all of us lawyers of the several candidates that the canvassing will start at 8am the following day. Hmnn...

Anyway, as the results of our quick count based on the certificates of votes came in, it became apparent that my candidate's sort of experiment of running a low budget, clean campaign simply wouldn't work in a district such as ours and considering that there were many other candidates. There was one candidate who attempted to literally buy his way into a congresional seat - to the point that it became insulting for us voters as we were apparently being bought in the most bulgar way possible. He did not win. The one who eventually won the congressional seat was a former local beauty queen who is reportedly of not much good repute. But oh well, true or not, that is another story.

Needless to say, my candidate having conceded, the legal team was no longer directed to be present during the canvassing. The loss was heartbreaking because I realized too late that I wasn't able to prepare myself emotionally for the eventuality of my candidate losing. It was heartbreaking because we didn't expected the results to be that way - my candidate did not even land in second or third place. Professionally, I was also disappointed because after months of preparation, I wasn't even able to set foot inside the canvassing area.

(To be continued...)

A Good Reminder on What Should Matter

2007-05-09T10:26:00.000+10:00

I was reading J.K. Rowling's website, in preparation for the upcoming Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix movie and the publication of the last of the Harry Potter series, the Deathly Hallows when I came across this post from the J.K. Rowling under the heading "Extra Stuff". It was a good food for thought for me - not that I have or will give up on trying to lose weight (as I really should be normal weight at least), but her post reminded me that I am more than my digits in pounds, as I am also more than my digits in the bank. Having attributed my historical and serial lack of amorous life to my weight (and yes, my height), J.K.'s words inspired me and reminded me that above my appearance, I should be proud that I value lots of other laudable things and I have an innate desire to seek to improve myself intellectually and emotionally too - even if I'm admittedly lazy to exhaust myself with physical activity. Besides, I can keep on trying to lose or at least maintain my weight and I don't have to think that it is the end of the world if I remain as I am. Society really does takes its toll on women's self-image - we really should be feeling good about ourselves more than we are. I am not bad at all. I might not have found "the one" but it doesn't mean it is because I do not have what it takes to be someone worth loving. And I am glad I am a thousand things before thin.

Here is J.K. Rowling's complete post/rant:

For Girls Only, Probably...

Being thin. Probably not a subject that you ever expected to read about on this website, but my recent trip to London got me thinking...

It started in the car on the way to Leavesden film studios. I whiled away part of the journey reading a magazine that featured several glossy photographs of a very young woman who is either seriously ill or suffering from an eating disorder (which is, of course, the same thing); anyway, there is no other explanation for the shape of her body. She can talk about eating absolutely loads, being terribly busy and having the world's fastest metabolism until her tongue drops off (hooray! Another couple of ounces gone!), but her concave stomach, protruding ribs and stick-like arms tell a different story. This girl needs help, but, the world being what it is, they're sticking her on magazine covers instead. All this passed through my mind as I read the interview, then I threw the horrible thing aside.

But blow me down if the subject of girls and thinness didn't crop up shortly after I got out of the car. I was talking to one of the actors and, somehow or other, we got onto the subject of a girl he knows (not any of the Potter actresses – somebody from his life beyond the films) who had been dubbed 'fat' by certain charming classmates. (Could they possibly be jealous that she knows the boy in question? Surely not!)

'But,' said the actor, in honest perplexity, 'she is really not fat.'

'"Fat" is usually the first insult a girl throws at another girl when she wants to hurt her,' I said; I could remember it happening when I was at school, and witnessing it among the teenagers I used to teach. Nevertheless, I could see that to him, a well-adjusted male, it was utterly bizarre behaviour, like yelling 'thicko!' at Stephen Hawking.

His bemusement at this everyday feature of female existence reminded me how strange and sick the 'fat' insult is. I mean, is 'fat' really the worst thing a human being can be? Is 'fat' worse than 'vindictive', 'jealous', 'shallow', 'vain', 'boring' or 'cruel'? Not to me; but then, you might retort, what do I know about the pressure to be skinny? I'm not in the business of being judged on my looks, what with being a writer and earning my living by using my brain...

I went to the British Book Awards that evening. After the award ceremony I bumped into a woman I hadn't seen for nearly three years. The first thing she said to me? 'You've lost a lot of weight since the last time I saw you!'

'Well,' I said, slightly nonplussed, 'the last time you saw me I'd just had a baby.'

What I felt like saying was, 'I've produced my third child and my sixth novel since I last saw you. Aren't either of those things more important, more interesting, than my size?' But no – my waist looked smaller! Forget the kid and the book: finally, something to celebrate!

So the issue of size and women was (ha, ha) weighing on my mind as I flew home to Edinburgh the next day. Once up in the air, I opened a newspaper and my eyes fell, immediately, on an article about the pop star Pink.

Her latest single, 'Stupid Girls', is the antidote-anthem for everything I had been thinking about women and thinness. 'Stupid Girls' satirises the talking toothpicks held up to girls as role models: those celebrities whose greatest achievement is un-chipped nail polish, whose only aspiration seems to be getting photographed in a different outfit nine times a day, whose only function in the world appears to be supporting the trade in overpriced handbags and rat-sized dogs.

Maybe all this seems funny, or trivial, but it's really not. It's about what girls want to be, what they're told they should be, and how they feel about who they are. I've got two daughters who will have to make their way in this skinny-obsessed world, and it worries me, because I don't want them to be empty-headed, self-obsessed, emaciated clones; I'd rather they were independent, interesting, idealistic, kind, opinionated, original, funny – a thousand things, before 'thin'. And frankly, I'd rather they didn't give a gust of stinking chihuahua flatulence whether the woman standing next to them has fleshier knees than they do. Let my girls be Hermiones, rather than Pansy Parkinsons. Let them never be Stupid Girls. Rant over.

Irreplaceable

2007-05-07T00:05:00.000+10:00

To the left
To the left
To the left
To the left
To the left
To the left
Everything you own in the box to the left
In the closet that's my stuff - Yes
If I bought it nigga please don't touch
And keep talking that mess, that's fine
But could you walk and talk at the same time
And It's my mine name that is on that Jag
So remove your bags let me call you a cab

Standing in the front yard telling me
How I'm such a fool - Talking about
How I'll never ever find a man like you
You got me twisted

You must not know about me
You must not know about me
I could have another you in a minute
matter fact he'll be here in a minute - baby

You must not know about me
You must not know about me
I can have another you by tomorrow
So don't you ever for a second get to thinking you're irreplaceable

So go ahead and get gone
And call up on that chick and see if she is home
Oops, I bet ya thought that I didn't know
What did you think I was putting you out for?
Cause you was untrue
Rolling her around in the car that I bought you
Baby you dropped them keys hurry up before your taxi leaves
Standing in the front yard telling me
How I am such a fool - Talking about
How I'll never ever find a man like you
You got me twisted

You must not know about me
You must not know about me
I could have another you in a minute
matter fact he'll be here in a minute - baby

You must not know about me
You must not know about me
I will have another you by tomorrow
So don't you ever for a second get to thinking you're irreplaceable

So since I’m not your everything
How about I'll be nothing
Nothing at all to you
Baby I wont shead a tear for you
I won't lose a wink of sleep
Cause the truth of the matter is
Replacing you is so easy

To the left
To the left
To the left
To the left
To the left
To the left
Everything you own in the box to the left

To the left
To the left

Don't you ever for a second get to thinking you're irreplaceable

You must not know about me
You must not know about me
I could have another you in a minute
matter fact he'll be be here in a minute - baby

You must not know about me
You must not know about me
I can have another you by tomorrow
Don't you ever for a second get to thinking you're irreplaceable

You must not know about me
You must not know about me
I could have another you in a minute
matter fact he'll be be here in a minute - baby

You must not know about me
You must not know about me
I can have another you by tomorrow
Don't you ever for a second get to thinking you're irreplaceable

- Beyonce, Irreplaceable

Whoa! Ang taray!

I've been hearing the line "to the left, to the left" in the office, as it is the message alert tone of my officemate. It was only this morning while I was tuned in to RX 93.1 when I found out that it was actually the song which I like and its title was "Irreplaceable" by Beyonce Knowles. I like the beat but I couldn't get the entire lyrics listening to it so I googled the lyrics just now.

Makes me think, and allow me to indulge in speculation, that while it is true that one can always find another love, it would take a while to accept that someone is dispensable - that you can live without that person. But then again, each one of us is unique and the love we give is likewise distinct, so in a sense, a person can really be irreplaceable - the way he irritates you, the way he rubs you the wrong way, the way you wail when he ignores you, the way your heart skips a beat when he smiles and looks at you, the way his face flashes in your head just whenever, the way he makes you feel...

I might just grab a copy of the Beyonce's CD tomorrow.

How to Spend a One Day Holiday

2007-05-02T10:27:00.000+10:00

What could be better than spending a one day holiday than watching one of the first screenings of Spiderman 3 on its first showing day with friends alongs with their moms, wives, daughter, or special friend, and then having a satisfying lunch afterwards at Cascada? Priceless. Great company (OXAR, NBD, RPM-who had a date afterwards, MJGF-S with hubby AGS, CPRA with mom, MELAG with mom too, JJQS with wife and their very well behaved daughter, my inaanak AJ, and PGU with friend who is so nice - we like her!) awesome movie (oh Tobey Maguire is so adorable - good or bad! Though I think Green Goblin Jr. is sexy), perfect THX cinema - Greenbelt 3 Cinema 1 (whoa! you can really experience all the swooshing and the rumbling!), hassle free purchase of tickets via suresats... And oh, did I mention I had for lunch my favorites - walnut salad and lamb skewers?

Lovely day.

My Desk

2007-04-23T11:55:00.000+10:00

This is what my desk looks like, at least last Friday. I took this photo while I was trying to figure out how to use the manual settings of my camera. This photo was taken with the ISO setting at 50 so the photo shows more details. Take note that the desk calendar is already in June because I'm looking for a date when to make a booking to avail of the Cebu Pacific P1.00 fare promo. I've had the Jolllibee mouse pad since 2001 and it's the one for all my employment. The kikay kit is not mine - it is my officemate's who leaves it in my cubicle because it is nearer the comfort room. The blue mug with butterflies is a gift from my officemate in the Supreme Court. Nice.

Amici Last Weekend

2007-04-16T17:48:00.000+10:00

Yeah, I know. I'm an Amici addict. I was in Amici (again!) with my college friends last Saturday. We ordered Piccantina Pizza (tomato, mozzarella, spcy salami, black olives, oregani and olice oil), though the pizza was not photographed - go figure! :) We also had Tagliatelle al Pollo e Prosciutto (the one with green pasta) which is composed of white sauce with chicken and ham - simple but delicious nonetheless. The other pasta we had was the Spaghetti "Mafiosi" which is spaghetti with anchovies, sardines, lemon Sicilian style. Yummy! We also ordered the steamed prawns which came with lots of rice, not your run of the mill and bland cream of mushroom soup - this one is tasty and creamy, and salad. We didn't get to order other viandas but apparantly, Amici serves Pinoy food during lunch. I didn't have ice cream this time but rather, I had Tiramisu which was really good as it was not too sweet and not too much liquor. The cappuccino was also perfect considering its price. Hay!

I might be taking some time off from Amici. But if someone asks me to go with him/her, I'll most likely not resist.

Dear Rocky

2007-04-16T12:10:00.000+10:00

For those who have read my Date Dissecting and Postscript on Date Dissecting posts, I thought I ought to let you know that yes, I have already gone out on dates after that and I'm happy to report that one has become an acquaintance and the other, a friend, at the very least.

Let's talk about the "friend". I did promise myself that I would not blog about him as he may be reading this post right this very moment and I'd be certainly embarassed. And so, to be prudent, I will leave this message for him:

Hi Rocky (not his real name)! If you happen to be reading this post right now, promise me you will pretend that you have not read this post and you will not give me a "I know something" smile when we see each other again.

It took more than a year, one and a half year to be exact, before friends thought of introducing me to their single friends. I'm not complaining though as I was busy doing other enjoyable stuff and spent much of my time with dear, dear friends during that one and a half year. But let's talk about Rocky - he is a great guy. I must say at the outset that there is nothing romantic going on between us. So if you are reading this and expecting to read a love story, please direct your attention to the right column portion of this blog and check out my blogroll to find some other things worth reading.

Disclaimers having been made, I just couldn't help but make comments on how he behaved himself during the date. (I will not write any further though about the other time we saw each other as this post is really to illustrate an example of a good date behavior.) I know the stuff I'll write would seem to be normal and customary for others that they won't be noteworthy at all. But I'm writing this as a late bloomer who has never dated until after finishing post-graduate studies - so bear with me.

Rocky seems to be a guy who is learned in the ways of dating and it is really nice to discover that it seems that both of us have in mind that dating should be an opportunity to make new friends. Unlike that guy who got my number but never texted and the other guy who didn't even get my number, seemingly out of fear that I'll perceive that as him being enamored with me, Rocky got my number and sent messages after our first meeting. During the date, which was chaperoned by the way, Rocky was not merely talking about himself but he was asking me some questions too. I don't know if it was his style or it was true, but his earlier declaration of not being able to stay long and his later staying long afterall was sweet. Intentional or not, it was flattering to feel that my company made him change his mind about leaving early to do other stuff. Rocky of course, footed the bill. I thought this was normal and I didn't even offered to pay, but my friends said that in some group dates, every one shares in the bill. The next time we went out, and I was even the one who invited him, he again paid the bill even if I offered to pay (oops, I said I won't say anything outside of the first meeting, but oh well...). I guess there are no hard and fast rules on this. Going back to the first meeting, Rocky was attentive - he listens and he remembered when I said I like lamb and offerred it to me as soon as the meal arrived. We even had coffee after the dinner. As we parted, Rocky and I gave each other a cheek to cheek and he said let's meet again when he is in the area where I work. True or not, I consider that a nice gesture on his part. And he sounded really sincere.

I know, I know it seems strange to rave about the stuff he did that night and he'd probably say he was just doing what he was supposed to do but let's face it, real gentlemen are dwindling in numbers and guys who are confident, self-assured and attentive are sadly, hard to come by. True, there are lots of nice guys out there but while Rocky is nice, he didn't fall into the trap of treating me like pare and not a girl. Other guys who are out on a date sometimes swing to the other extreme of coming across as asexual by trying to be friendly. Rocky was able to pull off being a gentleman by making me feel like I'm a girl that we gained friendship that meeting without him crossing the line and becoming a potential, and I'm going to borrow this title - paasa king.

I remembered an old friend telling me that he felt like he and his guy bestfriend were so clueless with girls that there seems to be a manual which they don't have a copy of. And to think this old friend was really, really good looking (he has moviestar genes) to think of himself as being unable or incapacitated to get the girl he likes. And honestly, his style as he relayed them to me seemed like he has taken a leaf from a stalker.

Dating is really a tricky tricky game. But it is fun, when you know how it is played. Rocky knows how, that's for sure. For whatever it is worth, going out with him is a confidence building measure for me, reassuring me that I CAN behave like a girl and be treated like a girl, and that there are still nice, decent, normal, gentlemen out there. Being around him, I realized I have a tendency to always act like the bestfriend in the movies and not like the leading lady (of course, I got this from The Holiday). A dear friend who is now married likened Rocky to a guy she once dated who, even if they both knew it will not go anywhere near the altar, gave her the confidence to go out there and meet people. Without need to determine if there is or there isn't any future for us, I think Rocky gave me that confidence too.

Wednesdays at Amici di Don Bosco

2007-03-22T04:18:00.000+11:00

Yesterday was the third consecutive Wednesday night that I was in Amici and I know that I'm starting to look familiar to the cashier, the cleaners and even to the Salesian priest who compulsively push the unoccupied chairs under the tables. You can't blame me - food is good and relatively cheap. I have obtained for myself on my first visit a copy of their menu, which though already filled from front to back, is not complete as it doesn't have their desserts, breads, coffee and other viands. Their menu is still with me which I have filled up, checking the food which I have sampled and indicating the date when I ate them.

The first time I went to Amici was on March 7, 2007. Then I had Canneloni al Spinaci all to myself as well as Chocolate with Nuts Gelato. I also go to taste the Pistacchio Gelato. My presence the following weeks just shows how I have been addicted to Amici food. Canneloni al Spinaci is baked canneloni stuffed with spinach and cheese topped with bechamel and parmesan cheese. It was delicious and I immensely enjoyed the cheesy herby flavor. The gelato on the other hand is not too sweet and my Chocolate with Nuts has plenty of almonds. The following week, I was alone and just went to buy an italian pizza to go. I picked Four Seasons from among 26 choices. Four Seasons has tomato, mozzarella, ham, mushrooms, artichokes, olives, oregano and olive oil. I ate a slice as soon as I got inside the car - the thin, wood baked semi crunchy crust still spilling with hot and elastic mozzarella. And to think that while waiting for my order, I had a cup of Strawberry Gelato which became my all time favorite strawberry ice cream as soon as I had my first spoon. Oh it is heavenly - light, not too sweet with real strawberry bits.

So, last night, I brought to Amici two of my friends in the office. We three came all the way from Ortigas and endured the Makati traffic just to treat outselves to authentic Italian food. Fitting to the name of the place "Amici", I saw friends and acquaintances on my previous two visits to Amici. Last night was not an exception as we were joined by another friend who happens to visit Amici quite often. And so, amidst good conversation and laughter, we enjoyed generous servings of pasta, pizza and ice cream. My friend also ordered Brazo de Mercedes which is much unlike the airy variety sold in commercial bakeshops. I took pictures of the food we ordered though I must say that the roast chicken was photographed after half of it has been eaten so you can imagine the servings are really generous. We had Spaghetti Vongoli e Gamberetti - spaghetti with clasm, shrimps 9really big ones), anchovies, tomatoes, red wine and cream (P180). The other one is Linguine al Nero di Seppa - black squid noodles with seafood sauce (P180). The pizza we had was Gorgonzola - tomato, mozzarella, blue chees (yum!) oregano and olive oil (P250). A cup of Classico Gelato (in cheese, corn, langka, macapuno, salad, ube, buko lychee sherbet, chocolate marble and strawberry marble) costs P40 while a cup of Bravissimo Gelato (in varieties of chocolate, coffee, crocantino, mint with choco chips, stracciatella, vanilla with nuts, blueberry, strawberry, pistaccio, nocciola/hazelnut, toblerone, chocolate with nuts and sorbetto al limone) is P45. Enjoy the pics and if you happen to crave for some authentic Italian food and you'de like some company, just let me know - I'll be glad to join you.

Amici di Don Bosco is located at the Don Bosco Makati compound. The entrance is along Arnaiz Avenue (formerly Pasay Road). There is limited parking inside, the entrance to which is a narrow driveway also along Arnaiz. You can also park inside Walter Mart and just walk across the street. If you are from the south, take South Superhighway and make a right turn to Arnaiz. Amici is just after the Chino Roces intersection. If you are coming from EDSA Makati, just make a right to Chino Roces and go straight till you see Walter Mart. You have to make a right at the intersection to get to Amici.

Let's eat!

2007-03-08T16:36:00.000+11:00

After eight months on South Beach Diet (which was modesty aside, successful), I have been unable to keep myself from thinking about food lately and I am starting to eat *normal* again. Fresh from a trip to Pasto at El Pueblo, I really shouldn't be thinking of food, having immensely enjoyed their crostini in creamy spinach dip and proscuitto pasta. Just the same, I have been thinking of going on a food trip to these places:

Swagat Indian Cuisine

I read in several blogs and also read it in food magazine that this place serves nearly authentic Indian food. I have been here once when I was still working in Makati and it reminds me so much of my favorite eating hang out near the University Pool in UP Diliman, Khas. I didn't get the chance to sample their other cuisines so I definitely be paying them a visit soon.

Amici de Don Bosco

The food is not actually very cheap for a canteen but would give Sbarro a run for its money in terms of food quality and serving size. If you don't mind the canteen atmosphere - the place is actually cool, this place is worth the trip. I haven't had my fill so I will visit this place again soon.

Click here to read the Our Awesome Planet blog about it.

Dong Bei Dimsum House

The other day, I was craving for dimsum and I thought of this place. I haven't been here but I read about in the comments to Senor Enrique's blog "Wish You Were Here". I will include this place in my next trip to Binondo.

Detecting Blessings

2007-02-28T10:27:00.000+11:00

Today is the last day of the month of February. Looking back at the first fifty nine days of the year 2007, I am amazed at how much blessings I have already received. It is really not because I've never received this much blessings before but because at the start of the year, I have been blessed with a changed heart and an enlightened mind which enabled me to see the many blessings that I have been receiving each day.

I was going through my blogger account when I came upon this draft post which I wrote on October 30, 2006 which I entitled "This Affliction". I wrote:

It might be an exaggeration but I have a suspicion I'm suffering fron attention deficit disorder syndrome. I can't seem to go on focusing on what I'm supposed to do, it is mildly debilitating. I would like to attribute this restlessness to having a mind swirling with so much information, inducing me to see beyond the present and long for a pre-occupation in the future.

I used to be less imaginative as a child even while I did daydream a lot, but those day dreams were not too cerebral as much as they were emotional, want-driven. My proclivity to making plans the past few months have affected my being productive at work. It's not like I do not want to be where I am right now. On the contrary, my plans revolve around making my present job a springboard.

The draft post might not seem to be to the point, but I realized that the past few years have been quite a struggle against aimlessness. All my life, I take certain paths - grade school, high school, college, then law school, and the bar. Because I am the type of person who, given a goal, will get at it quite easily because of focus, I was able to complete and hurdle the goals I've mentioned. In 2001, I started work and it was then that I realized that suddenly, there is so much I can do - the road is no longer narrow and the course is won't be run in a track and field stadium with a definite end. I was thrusted into a forest, with no clearly paved paths, just foot paths which seem to be not reliable to bring me where I want to be. To confound my confusion, I realized I didn't know if I really want to be where I initially thought would be a nice place to be. Do I really want to work on the goal of, after a decade or so, being a partner in the law firm which I joined? In the first place, do I want to be in the shoes of those who have become senior associates? I soon realized I was missing something in my life - I seem to have a purpose but they don't seem to be too meaningful or there is doubt if I would have fulfillment in achieving those purposes.

I went through a process, it took years, several heartaches, and also so much joy before I came to the first few days of 2007. I know I am a work in progress and I should never ever let my guard down but right now, I am happy or should I say, joyful to have discovered why I was unhappy before and why I never seem to satisfy myself with the things I strive for. It was because I was not able to realize then that the cliche that life is not a bed of roses is so true. Life here in earth is like the nine months we spent inside our mother's womb. Everything that happened to use from the time we came to life up to the time we were brought to this world shaped us and affected what we will become. Similarly, we were brought to this earth so as not to spend forever here, we are here to be honed, to be shaped and prepared for eternal life with God - that is my faith which I profess. There is a certain character which would make us fit to be spenting eternal life with God, and that is being Christ-like which should be our goal when we are still on earth. Knowing that made so much sense to me. I was unhappy because I was going against how God crafted me to be. I am His child and I was not made for this earth. If I had only realized that, I would not have been so uncontented and unhappy. Not only that, I would have been resilient in facing failures and problems because I would have known that the trials are tests which allows me to prove to myself and to Him if I am progressing towards being Christ-like. True, it is really easy to say "I trust in the Lord" if things are going great but what about when faced with adversities? And what about loving people who love us as against not so lovable people?

I'd like to share with you one of my favorite verses which goes:

Yahweh says this:
"A curse on the man who puts his trust in man, who relies of things of flesh, whose heart turns from Yahweh. He is like a dry scrub in the wastelands: if good comes, he has no eyes for it, he settles in the parched places of the wilderness, a salt land, uninhabited.

A blessing on the man who puts his trust in Yahweh, with Yahweh for his hope. He is like a tree by the waterside that thrusts its roots to the stream: when the heat comes it feels no alarm, its foliage stays green; it has no worries in the year of drought, and never ceases to bear fruit." - Jeremiah 17:5-8

Di ba ang ganda? :) I'd like to be that tree with it roots thrusted to the stream. I want to be always in the care of the Lord and who would obediently accept not only joy but also pain, seeing and understanding that the Lord's wisdom is infinite and his will is never to harm us but to prosper us in the larger scheme of things. I want to be always able to bear good fruit, which is actually to do good no matter how hard it is to do so.

So there. I feel I have been immensely blessed to be able to have the gift of understanding what my life is all about. I now see life as each day passes and I have more peace knowing that I am on the side of someone who knows what He is doing and is in charge. Being a control freak, having that someone and being able to surrender to Him is really so comforting. But I have learned that, really, praying a lot and being in tune with his will, and accepting his will even if it is not the same as your personal desires brings peace and joy, things that I have looked for so long. Now that I've found it, I will never let myself stray away again, with God's help and mercy.

Have a blessed day!

Some quotes and thoughts

2007-02-22T13:24:00.000+11:00

Iris, in the movies, we have leading ladies and we have the best friend. You, I can tell, are the leading lady but for some reason, you're behaving like the best friend.

- Arthur Abbott to Iris Simpkins in The Holiday [2006].

Look for a man who would accept you beyond what his eyes can see,
love you for who you are and what you can become.
A man who would cherish you more than anything
and who would not treat you as his girl
but his "life".

- Anonymous

Hen you yisi.

- Me

My Current Favorite Tunes

2007-02-06T14:11:00.000+11:00

Right now, I'm listening to Last Chance in my iPod. Originally performed by Allure, the version I'm listening to is that of MYMP. Here are the lyrics:

This is my last dance with you
This is my only chance to do all I can do
To let you know that what I feel for you is real

This is the last chance for us
This is the moment that I just cannot let end
Before I know that there's a chance were more than friends

So dont let go, don't let go
Make it last all night
This is my last chance to make you mine

I kept my feelings so deep
I kept my dreams of you and me somewhere inside
Although I prayed that you would see it in my eyes

But this is my last chance to say
What's in my heart before you stay out of my life
And then you'll understand the way I feel inside

So hold me close cause it feels so right
This is my last chance to make you mine
Make this dream reality
So close and yet so far
Gotta find a way into your heart
Gotta speak my mind
Gotta open up to you this time
I can't let you slip away tonight
This is my last dance with you

This is my only chance to do all I can do
To let you know that what I feel for you is so real
So dont let go
Just make it last all night long
This is my last chance to make you mine, yeah
To make you mine

Hmn.. bagay pang JS prom! =)

Last Chance is actually part of a playlist which I named February 2007. I renamed the playlist as such, the songs of which I selected using the On The Go function of my iPod. One of my noteworthy selections is the song Someone Like You which, I never realized, I had 3 versions! One version is done by Shawn Colvin, while the other two were by Dina Caroll and Van Morisson from the soundtrack of Bridget Jones's Diary 1 and 2, respectively. As it turns out, Vanessa Willians also has a version of it, though I don't have that one. I must concede, it's a beautiful song, and I think the lyrics are worth posting here:

I've been searching a long time
For someone exactly like you
I've been travelling all around the world
Waiting for you to come through.
Someone like you makes it
All worth while
Someone like you keeps me satisfied.
Someone exactly like you.

I've been travellin a hard road
Lookin' for someone exactly like you
I've been carryin my heavy load
Waiting for the light to come shining through.
Someone like you makes it all worth while
Someone like you keeps me satisfied.
Someone exactly like you.

I've been doin some soul searching
To find out where youre at
I've been up and down the highway
In all kinds of foreign lands
Someone like you makes it
All worth while
Someone like you keeps me satisfied.
Someone exactly like you.

I've been all around the world
Marching to the beat of a different drum.
But my baby, I have realised
The best is yet to come.
Someone like you makes it
All worth while
Someone like you keeps me satisfied.
Someone exactly like you.

Another song which always come up whenever I play my songs at random is Feels Like Home by Chantal Kreviazuk from the album Songs From Dawson's Creek. Now, I can't help but like it. So, here it is, Feels Like Home:

There's something in your eyes
Makes me wanna lose my self,
Makes me wanna lose myself in your heart,
There's something in your voice
That makes my heart beat fast
Hope this feeling lasts
For the rest of my life

If you knew how lonely
My life has been
And how long I've been so alone
And if you knew how I wanted someone to come along
And change my life the way you've done

It feels like home to me
It feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way back where I come from
It feels like home to me
It feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong

A window breaks down the long dark street
And a siren rings in the night
But I'm all right cause I have you here with me,
And I can almost see through the dark there is light

Well if you knew how much this moment means to me
And how long I've waited for your touch
And if you knew how happy you are making me
I never thought that I'd love anyone so much

It feels like home to me
It feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way back where I come from
It feels like home to me
It feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong

It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong.

And lastly, here are the lyrics of one of my all time favorite OPM songs - When I Met You by the Apo Hiking Society. I used to wait for it to be played on the radio just so I can record it. Thankfully, I now have a CD copy of the APO tribute album special edition which contains both the revival and the original versions.

(Boboy)There I was an empty piece of shell
Just minding my own world
Without even knowing
What love and life were all about

(All) Then you came, you brought me out of the shell
You gave the world to me and before I knew
There I was so in love with you

(Danny) You gave me a reason for my being
And I love what I’m feeling
You gave me a meaning to my life
Yes, I’ve gone beyond existing
(All) And it all began
When I met you…

(All) I love the touch of your hand
And when I look in your eyes I just know
I know I’m on to something good
And I’m sure my love for you will endure
Your love will light up my world
And take all my cares
Away with the aching part of me

(Danny) You gave me a reason for my being
And I love what I’m feeling
You gave me a meaning to my life
Yes, I’ve gone beyond existing
(All) And it all began
When I met you…

(All) You taught me how to love
You showed me how tomorrow and today
My life was different from the yesterday I knew
You taught me how to love
Darling I will always cherish you
Today, tomorrow and forever

[Instrumental]

(All) And I’m sure when evening comes around
I know we’ll be making love like never before
My love who could ask for more

(Danny) You gave me a reason for my being
And I love what I’m feeling
You gave me a meaning to my life
Yes, I’ve gone beyond existing
(All) And it all began
When I met you…

When I met you... oh

(Danny) You gave me a reason for my being
And I love what I’m feeling (All) (I love what I'm feeling)
You gave me a meaning to my life
Yes, I’ve gone beyond existing
(All) And it all began
When I met you.

Hay, I just love this song...

Hmn. Ang aga ng Valentine's day ko. Hehe. Anyway, Happy Valentine's Day! =)

Love, Love, Love

2007-02-05T18:38:00.000+11:00

A week ago, I was the maid of honor at my friends' wedding. I was actually the one who introduced them and it was my first and, so far, only success at matchmaking. It was the first wedding I attended this year but definitely not the last as I will also be attending two more weddings on March 2 and March 17. My wedding schedule for 2007 goes this far as my next weddings are on March 29 and September 2008 - so far. Since graduating from law school, I have attended so many weddings, baptisms, 1st birthday parties, and visited so many newly born babies and their mommies at the hospitals (enough to scare the wits out of me). In all these events, I find my heart swelling with joy, seeing how much love is swirling in the air - it is actually intoxicating, contagious.

One of my favorite movies is Love Actually. I love it so much I actually bought an original DVD of the movie and watched it several times, including the deleted scenes which were cut to fit the movie into a commercial length. In the opening scene, you would hear the voice of the Prime Minister, played by Hugh Grant, saying these lines:

Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually is all around.

Love is indeed all around, no matter how easily angered people seem to be, no matter how selfish intentions seems to drive others. People's lives are driven by love, they just don't notice it. Or sometimes, their love for themselves hides real love.

Valentine's day is a few days away and I couldn't help but be reminded that I have never received a proper Valentine's day bouquet from a loved one, for a simple reason that I never had someone special during that day. Nonetheless, I will not concede that all my valentine's days were loveless. In fact, all my days are filled with love, it's just that I sometimes fail to see it when I fail to appreciate what real love is.

So what is love? Love is best described by St. Paul in his first letter to the Corinthians, and I quote:

Love is patient and kind. It is not jealous nor conceited nor proud. Love is not ill-mannered, nor selfish, nor irritable. Love does not keep a record or wrongs. Love is not happy with evil, but it is happy with the truth. Love never gives up. Its faith, hope and patience never fails. Love is eternal. - 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Reading the passage, it is noteworthy that it does not say that you will always be happy if you have love, or that you will be loved back if you give love. There are no guarantees. Love as defined by St. Paul foresees difficulties in loving, imperfections on the person who is the object of your love, competition from others who seek the attention of your loved one, and necessarily, pain and a lot of anguish. Afterall, one could not claim to be patient or kind unless he has faced a test of patience or kindness and prevailed over it. The definition likewise does not epitomize the person who is giving love as someone who is perfect and faultless, thus the necessity of the reminder that someone who loves is not jealous, not proud, not conceited. Love is really not about being loved back but about giving oneself to another and putting his/her interests and welfare above self. It is about forgiveness, not once, but many, many times. It is about being relentless in pursuing the person you love not to have him or her only for yourself but in order to show him/her that you are putting his/her happiness, welfare and interest first. Love is difficult, but more so if you resist to embrace its consequences and realize what it is all about.

Knowing what love really is about, I find consolation. I may not be able to claim for myself that someone loves me, or is mad about me, but I can truly say that I know what love is about. It is about being happy by just being around THAT person, seeing he/she is well, physically and spiritually, and being happy yourself just for the simple fact that you are doing something him. And all of these you do not because you expect to be loved back in return, although you do hope that of course, but just because. Who says love is love only if it is reciprocated? Indeed, unrequited love is a potential agony but only if you fail to see beyond yourself. Love is not about you, it is about that person you love. And consequently, loving someone who doesn't feel the same way means learning to let go of that love. After all, love can be a burden to someone who could not return the feeling.

I once walked away from a situation because the one I love couldn't love me back. He asked that I attend his wedding so that he will know for sure that I am alright. So I did. Even if I wasn't well, I knew I had to be brave because I knew he wanted me to be happy, he wanted to see I was over it. After that, I uprooted myself from that situation which would allow us to spend a lot of time and made a fresh start. I never regretted letting him know how I feel about him, neither did I ever regret going to his wedding. Now, several years after, I see him as a friend entirely and I do not have any feelings of pain whenever I would bump into him with his wife. I wondered if I would ever love someone as much, to be able to throw away pride, conceit and jealousy, and to be able to face the truth.

I have faith and I look forward to the day when the person I love would delight in the mere fact that I exist, that I breathe, that I live. It took a long time to get here and I am happy to find myself to be not in a hurry. In God's perfect time, He will bring him to me, shaped and honed to be able to accept me for who I am and still love me. Until that time comes, I will not stop loving, I will not give up on love. I know I will cry again soon, nobody knows when but heck, love is not about me. Love is about the other person. Love is not what is taken but what is given.

Love actually is... selfless.

Reminiscing my UP Diliman days

2007-02-05T15:02:00.000+11:00

I took the PUJ to UP Diliman this afternoon to watch UP Samaskom's Live AIDS Monologues, the first time I'm seeing it despite studying in UP Diliman for 8 years. Riding the UP-Pantranco jeep (Fare is just P8.00 though it was P2.50 way back in 1993), I was able to catch a glimpse of the University Avenue with its lampposts displaying banners announcing the UP Diliman Month this February. The air was cool and it was breezy. Since Dodong Nemenzo ordered the closure of the Academic Oval to traffic on Sundays, the jeep too the route which passed by the UP Press, stil; in its old dilapidated building with a wealth of intersting books, the Abueva garden of sculptures which are now almost drowned in tall wild grass, the back of the Faculty Center wherein a new building sprouted and certainly looks different from what I remember, the ISMED Building, the Science Pavs, the Camia and Sampaguita dorms, the gate going to good old CASAA, Palma Hall Annex which houses the department of Psychology before the jeep turned right back to the Academic Oval. From there, I got a view of the Sunken Garden wherein several kids were playing soccer side by side with big boys playing soccer too. I noticed that the UP Grandstand has a new look - the structure resembled that of Pan Xenia's logo. I think I heard of a story that such structured caused some controversy which had apparently faded since the Pan Xenia grandstand has not been demolished. I also noticed that while the School of Economics looked the same, the College of Business Administration no longer have its stone washed look which I prefer over its present painted look. I didn't notice though it the metal sculpture in front of the building is still there. The jeep then passed near Malcolm Hall, what I considere my home in UP Diliman. Still looks the same though newly painted and with a grander looking huge door adorning its facade. A little bit further, I saw the University Swimming Pool and I since I really did not have any destination in mind, I didn't resist the urge to hop out of the jeep and cross the street towards it. Oh boy, I remember my P.E. classes during my first year, first sem in that swimming pool. I loved its 10ft deep diving area and I relish doing 500 meter laps on that pool. Right beside the pool entrance, I found that my favorite Persian canteen named Khas is still there. I used to eat a lot of Beef Biryani with rice rolled inside a pita bread style burrito in that place. Walking further, I saw the fish ball stand and I bought a few sticks of fishball as well as a cup of taho from the taho vendor right beside the stall. Yum! With my hands and mouth full, I wasn't able to go inside the UP Chapel so I just went as far inside without stepping in, and then walked towards Malcolm Hall to meet a friend who himself is relishing the UPD scenery and taking pictures for his website. I didn't have my camera with me so I just took some photos using my camera phone which pictures I think, do not give justice to the UPD ambiance on Sundays. You should visit the place one of these days, I tell you.

Wishful Thinking: Weekend Escapade

2007-02-02T02:43:00.000+11:00

The Siberian winds have been blowing towards the equator and temperature is dropping in Manila. The cool weather, which makes my teeth clatter and getting up in the morning more difficult, made me think of cool places here in the Philippines. First place that came to mind was Baguio - I wonder how's the weather in Baguio these days? Not too long after that thought, I heard in the news that the temperature in Baguio has reached 9.0 degrees celsius. Wow! That's the coldest you can get here in the Philippines, in the cities that is. And so my mind wandered off and thought of a sojourn in Baguio. If I could just get out of the office, grab my stuff at home and head off to the nearest bus station to Baguio, that would be a blast! Talk about being escapist! Hehe. But since I am a person not likely to do just that, I did the next logical thing which is to surf the net and see how plausible my plan is. I also dug up on old emails on Baguio accommodations as I remember making a mental note of this place in John Hay which is nice and yet affordable. And so, here is what I gathered.

To Baguio Now! Plan:

How to get there:

Via the Victory Liner Luxury Coach (P550, one way. Contact Tel. No. 7274688). I called their office and was informed of the schedule:

Cubao to Baguio
1:15 pm
10:15 pm
12:15 am

Baguio to Cubao
10:15 am
1:15 pm
12:15 am

Travel time is just 5 hours. The Victory Liner terminal in Baguio is near the Supreme Court compound (I have a lot of fond memories there). Sounds good! To think that their other aircon bus fare is P380. Reservations must be made by personally going to the Victory Liner Cubao Station which is along EDSA near Aurora and New York St., going to Makati.

Where to stay:

Mile Hi-Inn (Contact Tel No. 074-4466141 to reserve). They have Forest View rooms (good for 3-4 persons) which costs P1,950 plus VAT. They also have a standard room (good for 3-4 persons) - which costs P1,750 plus VAT and a standard room (dorm type) at P500 per person plus VAT. A discount of 40% is given is only two persons will occupy the forest view and standard rooms. All rooms have their own T&B with hot water. Check in time is 2 pm while check out time is at 12nn. It is near the export procession zone so lots of outlet stores nearby. Hmn... sounds nice!

While surfing the web, I came across this blog which I think is the best on Baguio by far. The blog is Go Baguio! and I think it is a must read for anyone who wants to make the most out of his/her stay in Baguio.

Since I am thinking of going there on a Saturday and getting back to Manila by Monday morning, that means I would have one and a half day in Baguio. Some of the things I want to do are the following:

Day One

1. Call the DOT office (074-4428848 and 0744427014) to find out about the schedule of cultural events.

2. Have coffee, brown rice and some strawberry wine (di ata bagay, hehe) at the Cafe by the Ruins near the Baguio City Hall.

3. Eat binatog, both the salty and with condensed milk varieties, and go up to the viewing dock of SM City Baguio.

4. Use up my remaining 2 hours free internet use at Netopia in SM Baguio.

5. Walk the entire length of Session Road, roam the entire Burnham Park (take a boat trip perhaps) and just take in Baguio City air (though dapat yata, sa John Hay ko ito gawin.)

6. Take a trip to the market (yum!) and buy strawberries.

7. Enjoy the ambiance at Mile-Hi, have dinner there. I'm excited to see mist coming out of my mouth as I speak!

Day Two

1. Explore Camp John Hay. Sit on the grass at Bell Amphitheater and read a good book. Find that unforgettable swing beneath the pine trees - pick up fallen pine cones, if there are. Hay...

2. Horseback riding - something I haven't dones since I fell off a horse when I was around 9 year sold.

3. Visit the Botanical Garden and see local artists at work.

Wow, what a plan! I better do this quick before it gets warm again. Plus, the Panagbenga Festival started today and will end after a month. Hoards of people will sure flock to Baguio during this time.

Don't be surprised if on my next blog, you'll see pictures of me in Baguio! :)

Ah, Baguio!

Lethargy

2007-01-15T20:28:00.000+11:00

This is not a good way to start blogging this year, but after many weeks of being not in the mood to blog, I suddenly felt the urge to write how tired I feel today. Lethargic is the apt term.

This is not to say that I feel so uninspired or bereft of joy or optimism for the year 2007. Truth is it is only the 15th day of the new year and so many wonderful blessings have been given me - answered prayers, new acquaintances, many moments of laughter at home and countless minutes of bonding with dear friends. It is perhaps because of this overload that I am feeling lethargic today - lethargic not melancholic, mind you. I would like to think of it as a lull before the storm. As soon as I snap out of this, I will be better at facing the tasks at hand. With God's grace, my strength will be renewed and my mind will be cleared.

I probably just need a little bit more sleep.

Thank You

2006-12-18T13:39:00.000+11:00

My tea's gone cold, I'm wondering why
I got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window
and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'd all be grey,
but your picture on my wall
It reminds me that it's not so bad,
it's not so bad

I drank too much last night, got bills to pay,
my head just feels in pain
I missed the bus and there'll be hell today,
I'm late for work again
And even if I'm there, they'll all imply
that I might not last the day
And then you call me and it's not so bad,
it's not so bad and

I want to thank you
for giving me the best day of my life
Oh just to be with you
is having the best day of my life

Push the door, I'm home at last
and I'm soaking through and through
Then you hand me a towel
and all I see is you
And even if my house falls down,
I wouldn't have a clue
Because you're near me and

I want to thank you
for giving me the best day of my life
Oh just to be with you
is having the best day of my life

Picky Fickle Buyer

2006-11-13T17:58:00.000+11:00

Finally, after more than a year of resisting to buy myself an iPod, and raving about the pros of having an iPod in my blog iPod, iMac, iWant!, I am buying myself the new (released in September 2006) 30GB iPod!

Hurrah, Yipee, Yehey!!!

I initially decided to buy an 80GB iPod but decided against it , thinking the 30GB would actually be sufficient for my music playing and video viewing needs aside from the fact that I don't intend to use it to store my photos as I am not yet that narcissitic. I have long delayed buying an iPod because I feel guilty spending so much of my money on myself, I guess settling for the 30GB is a compromise I'm willing to make. The price difference is around Php5,000 and with that I can buy some necessary accessories. Speaking of accessories, I also initially wanted to get a red Shinnorie EZgoing for iPod Video 30GB but I scrimped and striked that off my shopping list.

By the way, I'm having my iPod bought in Hong Kong by a friend of a friend who is also buying an 80GB video iPod. I initially said I'd be getting just an AV cable then, after reading through the Apple Online Store user reviews and after interviewing personnel at three different Apple Stores here in Manila, I thought I would also need a USB Power Adapter. And then, I decided I'd buy the accessories here in Manila at zero interest for 12 months since the price difference is just minimal. At this point, I'd understand if my friend already wants to wring my neck for changing my mind so many times.

But hey, this is an important purchase. I remember I wasn't too picky when I got my laptop four years ago and, while it was so realiable, I kinda regretted not to have exhausted all buying opportunities to get my money's worth. I actually had friends who got laptops at the same time I got mine, at the same price but for more value. My current laptop only has USB 1.0, and doesn't have wi-fi and dvd-rom. But anyway, that was four years ago. What is important is to make the right purchase now.

And so, in case you are buying an iPod, a video iPod in particular, I'd like to share with you some important stuff which I found out about buying an iPod, stuff that you don't get to find out just by going to the ipod page at the Apple website.

1. The box contains earphones, a case, a USB 2.0 cable, dock adapter for use with universal dock (but universal dock is not included), and quickstart guide CD along with your iPod. The li-ion battery is built in.

2. We know what the case, the earphones and the quickstart guide are for but the USB 2.0 cable is primarily to connect your iPod to your PC or mac to (1) sync the iPod with your iTunes library, and (2) to charge your iPod. Note that you cannot charge your iPod without turning on your computer is you just rely on the accessories included in the box since the a power adapter has to be purchased separately. It costs Php 2,000 but costs a few pesos less if you buy it in Hong Kong, Singapore and even in the U.S.

3. On charging your iPod, you need to charge your iPod for 4 hours for it to fully charge or 2 hours to be 80% charged. If you are charging it by connecting it to your PC or mac, you cannot use your iPod unless you "eject" it from the iTunes. With my Motorola Razr v3i with iTunes, I sometimes find this troublesome. On the other hand, the power adapter comes in handy because you can charge your iPod even if it is not connected to your PC and you can even use it.

4. You might have a problem if your PC or mac doesn't have a USB 2.0 because USB 1.0 would be slower. Here, the power adapter comes in handy again.

5. It takes quite a while to adding many songs or videos to your iPod so if you do not have the luxury of time, you should get yourself a firewire which you connect to your PC or mac and to your iPod to be able to transfer songs a lot faster. I am not buying this, incidentally.

6. The case which is included inside the box when you purchase an iPod is a fabric pouch. Might not be good enough if you know yourself to be clumsy. That means you've got to get yourself more protection.

7. As mentioned earlier, the dock adapter is for use with the universal dock which is not included in the box and is quite pricey (HK$300). I am also not buying this because some iPod buyers have attested that it scratches their iPod. Supposedly, it can do the following:

Connect the Dock to your computer with the cable that came with your iPod, then place your iPod in the Dock to sync and charge the battery. No more reaching behind the computer to plug it in.

Connect the Dock to an electrical outlet using an iPod Power Adapter, then place your iPod in the Dock to charge the battery.

Connect the Dock to a stereo or speakers using an iPod AV Cable or a stereo audio cable to play music from iPod.

Control playback from a distance using the Apple Remote.

Display photos on a TV or other video device using an iPod AV Cable or S-video cable if you have an iPod with a color display.

Display videos on a TV or other video device using an iPod AV Cable or S-video cable if you have an iPod with video capability.

Note that without it, you can (a) charge and sync your iPod with your PC or mac, (b) can charge your iPod using the power adapter, and (c) play music, display photos and view videos using the AV cable. The only thing you can't do without the universal dock is to use the apple remote. I think I can live without it for now.

There are lots and lots of iPod accessories sold by Apple and other manufacturers, sure. For now, I'm happy with my purchases. I'll spread the glee out of having new gadgets or accessories some other time.

Numbers

2006-11-02T17:55:00.000+11:00

I'm thirty years, 18 days and 49 minutes old.

I have attended not less than twelve weddings of close friends, and is scheduled to attend six more in the next few months.

I have been a maid of honor once and is scheduled to be a maid of honor again in January. I have been a secondary sponsor or a bridesmaid about four times. As a consequence, I have nine gowns and two more being made for the coming weddings. I have two formal shoes which I alternately wear.

I have 15 god children, namely:

Reynette
Roxanne
Jerome
Agatha Christie
Alexander Diego
Amor
Kobe Daniel
Ann Margarette
Raphael Josef
Angelo Joaquin
Aisha Janine
Dwen
Lorenzo Miguel
Sophia Isabel
Therese

And I have two pregnant friends and another who just gave birth who have promised to make me their kids' ninang.

I have one ex-boyfriend.

Zero present boyfriend.

Two crushes right now.

Two bachelor's degrees.

One job.

Two former employers.

Two languages.

I plan to expand my spoken and written languages to four, and I'm eyeing two master's degrees. I also intend to venture into a business.

I cannot count how many books I have.

Well, in truth, I can but they're many enough to cause me some difficulty that I always put off the counting.

I've been to three other countries aside from the Philippines,
been to Luzon, Visayas and Mindanao,
been to nine provinces in Luzon,
been to two provinces in Visayas, and four in Mindanao.

I have three blogs.

Plugged

2006-10-18T11:48:00.000+10:00

If my organ of Corti can strangle me, it would have wrung my neck by now. You see, I'm currently trying to work, and, in the light of the very unconducive work atmosphere in the office, I have taken steps to decrease my susceptibility to triggers to disruption of my concentration. And the measure I've employed is plugging my ears with earphones. I started my work day at volume 3, the loudest being 10. As my officemates started arriving, some have failed to suppress their exhuberance and enthusiam of certain topics, forcing me to up the volume level to 10. Their emotions have since subsided and I'm now back down to 4. Still, my brain feels like its being swirled and stirred and my mood has not improved a bit. Obviously, I'm no longer working as I am frantically, wreckessly jabbing my fingers hard on my battered keyboard.

Wait. I'm taking several deep breaths.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Gee, it helps.

To think I thought I started the day quite fine after enjoying a brief but refreshing sleep, thanks to the CD my friend gave me, supposedly to induce deep sleep. I kept my ears plugged all night listening to it. Well, okay, you probably don't call it "listening" when one is asleep, but anyway, I guess it works - though its effects end as soon as you wake up and you have to fend for yourself as soon as you wake up and battle this noisy jungle called workplace.

Footnote:

The organ of Corti is lined with hair-like structures which are actually sensory cells called sterocilia. The steriocilia ossiclates with sound and transmit it to the brain. Any damage to it is permanent as they do not regenerate. They die.

2006-10-17T18:44:00.000+10:00

What does it mean when you feel another person's pain or sadness and wish to take it away, or at the very least be able to do something to ease it?

!ssergorp yna gnikam ton ma I

2006-10-17T17:28:00.000+10:00

I'm currently swamped with work and can barely keep my head above water, though my present predicament is not as nearly bad as when I was in the law firm BUT still, bad.

I realized that I crack under pressure, in a manner that makes me more counterproductive. I make mistakes (or ask stupid questions which expose my follies, just like what happened seconds ago) and clam up. Yes, I clam up and feel the surge of resistance to work overwhelm me. As work continue to pile in along with the pressure from bosses to do work (I'm fine and actually do well without the pressure), the less efficient I become. It takes a lot of mind work and convincing to prod my brain into commencing work right after a stressful situation. Unreasonably, stress sources become the object of my scorn which is a shame because my co-workers in my present work are all so nice. But then again, just like at home when I do something wrong, I'd rather be yelled at or scolded for a folly rather than be treated kindly. Kind treatments when I am at fault open the floodgates of guilt which is agonizing and yes, painful. I disdain myself for being a liability to others.

And after that self-flaggelation, I think I can go back to work now.

Writing to be read. Writhing to be red.

2006-10-15T01:57:00.000+10:00

In our meeting last Friday, the conversation was steered towards interesting blogs we've encountered and other stuff for techie geeks. My bosses who were considerably older started to get interested about these blogs and inquired how does one put up his own blog. He went on to comment that what becomes of blogs which are not read. He struck a nerve, I thought. My blog is not being read! I'm offended.

I quickly regained composure enough to say that blogs are actually not written just so to be read, as there are those who write for the pleasure of expressing themselves, with the caveat that what they write could be read by the entire Webdom.

But who am I fooling. Of course, I want my blogs to be read. That's why I email my friends whenever I have new posts; that's why I included a site meter on my blogs in the first place.

In one of my idle moments, I recalled a former friend's code name and thought I'd search it on the net. As it turns out, he has had a blog a year before I started mine and his blog's title was the one he used as early as 2000. This guy and I used to write each other long emails continuously and consistently for a year. Looking back, I guess we were each other's captive audience as we were blogging, even before the word blog was coined. And since we have stopped being friends a few months after we stopped "blogging" each other (that doesn't seem quite right, but anyway...), I figured the email exchanges were impersonal. Still, when he sent an email to his friends, cc to my email address, one of the last I got from him, I was a bit slighted - thinking it was so impersonal unlike the previous email exchanges we've had which is sent only to each other, no cc:. Thinking about it now, I guess my friends do not like the idea of receiveing a link to my blog instead of me sending a personal email to them. Admittedly, my blogging was spurred by my desire to see my writing appear on screen when googled and of course, some lazy intentions as well. But then, I thought it was a convenient way to keep my friends updated about what's been going on in my life, not just the events but also my personal feelings and thoughts about my life as it happens. Knowing what is going on with me won't keep them current about who I am or who I've become.

In any case and at any rate, whether my blog is being read or not, I will keep on doing this. After all, it's cathartic and I enjoy it. I enjoy it as much as I enjoy life. So, read on. :)

iPod, iMac, iWant!

2006-10-10T19:32:00.000+10:00

Any statement hailing technological advances as incredible would stating the glaring and the obvious. In any case, that realization would not stop me from raving about some Apple products. Apple, of course, is not a fruit but Apple Computer, the company formed by the two trailblazing Steves - Jobs and Wozniak, the makers of the first personal computer Apple II. It is again incredible that these two are very much alive and very young at present (unlike Thomas Edison when I first read about him), enjoying their millionaire lives. This fact highlights how recent the world has been ushered into the computer age. And life changing was the introduction of this technology, indeed. For now, it is unimaginable how a student, a teacher, or an employee of a company can work in what he has been accustomed to as efficient without the help of computers. All these technological advances definitely make life easier for humans, no doubt. But sometimes I feel these are making us lazy, less patient and less hardworking as the previous generations. Just a thought. And oh, technology has blurred our needs and wants, especially with regard to entertainment in particular.

Okay, I admit. There may still be some sectors of society who believes that entertainment is a want and not a need but let us just suppose it is a need for purposes of this rumination. I guess some might say that some forms of entertainment are more wants than needs, as shown by the fact that we have previously survived without it. Take the case of digital music players , iPods in particular. I am sure there were those who had vinyl, long playing albums collections, or cassete tape collections for that matter. Few would probably have a thousand compact discs, containing, say, 15 songs each. Let us just say that the average number of CDs per person is 500 so that makes 7,500 songs. But since an average song let's say is 4 minutes, it would take 30,000 minutes or 500 hours or 21 days to be listen to all 7,500 songs, and that is continiuosly at that. But let's say an average person listens to his music player for 15 hours max, he would then be able to listen to 225 4-minute songs. In short, having an iTunes which can store 7,500 songs is like carrying along with you a radio station which will play songs at your whim. Of course, I personally prefer listening to the radio if only to experience the element of surprise not having any idea what will play next but I guess having such a large collection would give that same "element of surprise".. but I don't have that much collection... Nah. I'm digressing.

Of course, the 30 gigabyte capacity iPod video is not the model with the largest capacity. There are the 60GB and the incredible 80GB iPod video, able to store 15,000 and 20,000 songs, respectively. Whoa! Of course, the iPod video can store not only songs but also iPod compatible pictures and videos. While I'm not much interested with its photo storage capacity, I am amazed with iPod's video capabilities. This is actually the reason why I want my own iPod. For several months now, I have been putting off buying an iPod for myself, hoping they will come up with a new and improved version, thus driving down the prices for the older but still very good model. I knew the wait was worth it as not only did the price for the 30GB dropped, it was also improved along with the launch of the 80GB iPod video. This afternoon, I went to the Apple Store in Megamall to get the latest price list of iPods. True enough, the cost of the 60GB iPod video a year a go is not the proce tag of the 80GB iPod. While there was no change in the shuffle and nano prices, both are now upgraded and better than the previous models. I checked out the Apple Store Online, both the Hong Kong and Singapore pages and was thrilled to see that they sell iPods at a considerable lower price, some for 5,000 less than the Manila price! Hmn...

Apart from the music storage capabilities of the iPod video, I am most thrilled with the fact that it would now allow me to watch video podcasts which I download for free. Yes, podcasts of good quality are available and abound in the internet. Wonderful, wonderful. I get to watch news podcasts of ABC News and listen to CNN, MSNBC and a host of other reputable news companies. I also get to download podcasts of language lessons which are really helpful. All of these makes a content-maniac out of me.

And while I was lurking around the Apple Store in Megamall, I had the occasion to take a second look at imacs which I have previously conceived as very expensive, impractical and not high in the utility aspect. Lo and behold, taking a closer look at its specs, it seems like reasonably must-have gadget after all. Especially since it comes with lots of original Apple software, pre-loaded into the Mac Book plus it also has Microsoft Office 2004. Add to that, it is faster than most other laptops and it has Airport Express or what is commonly known as wi-fi capabilities. Of course, the Apple Store Megamall price is way, way costlier than the Apple Store Online Hong Kong and Singapore prices.

Darn! Now I have to resist buying not just the iPod but the iMac as well! And it would definitely take a lot of control to resist these eye candies.

Sigh.

Must not.

They're just wants, not needs.

Note: In the interest of those who are planning to grab the Mac Book, my computer genius techie friend said that there is a difference between Intel Core Duo and Intel Code 2 Duo. These terms refer to processors, the improved version of Pentium. Core 2 Duo is faster than Core Duo and it also is more energy efficient specially if you are running your laptop on batteries. The Mac Book has Intel Core Duo only but I do not have info which laptops have Core 2 Duo and whether they are as affordable. Still, while I am not too particular about speed, battery longevity is very important to me considering that my Compaq Presario 700's batt didn't last longer than 1.5 hours and has now retired itself, fully drained and dead.

[Updated: October 16,2006]

Feelings

2006-10-03T13:44:00.000+10:00

I will be turning 30 in 12 days but that is not exactly why I'm feeling melancholic since last night. (Nope, I am not from Ateneo who lost to UST in the UAAP Men's Basketball Championship last night, though way back in 1988, even when I was still in Grade 5, my favorite UAAP team was Ateneo led by Jun Reyes and Danny Francisco.)

The past few years, many of my closest friends, especially the girls, have found true love and have since gotten married. Other guy friends have relocated abroad or have been busy. And then, things were never the same. Though I'm extremely vicariously happy for them, I found myself clamming up. Unlike before when I found it easy to dial their numbers and call, sometimes for no reason other than to chat, now I always stop short of doing that for fear that I might get disappointed if I hear a less than interested voice, subtly suggesting that he/she is busy. After all, it might really be a waste of their time just listening to me whenever I want to go ranting about just about anything. And also, I think it would be selfish of me to impose myself on them, bothering them with my trivial feelings while they are enjoying their happy life. I want them to be assured that I am alright and can take care of myself. I even tell myself that I already know what they will advice me so why go through the process of unburdening myself to them?

A month ago, I dared to venture out of this thinking and proved myself wrong. I shared my thoughts and feelings to my two close friends, feelings and thoughts which I thought would merit a frown or a "you know what is the right thing to do" reaction from them (or a resounding "gaga!" from dear Junjun). On the contrary, I rediscovered two friends with empathy and understanding towards me, who didn't judge me and in fact, were able to put a fresh perspective on the issues I have. I was so wrong about my friends. I am so sure that all the others I have prejudged to prejudge me will be as warm and comforting as the two close friends I referred to earlier.

Looking back, I do not know how I got to this state, I do not know where I got the wrong idea. All I know now is that my friends will always be willing to just hold my hand and walk with me through life. And I shouldn't doubt their capacity to give.

This post in itself is divergent from my "clamming up" way of thinking. I actually doubt if I'd be able to tell them these things face to face, not wanting to sound needy. But then, I guess this post is the next best thing, a subterfuge for my bashfulness. At least, even if I probably will not alert them about this post, writing a blog is like writing on your diary and then leaving it open and lying around just about anywhere.

Milenyo Storming In Metro Manila

2006-09-28T11:52:00.001+10:00

Typhoon Milenyo (a.k.a Xangsane) which was named after the year 2000 when the entire storm naming system of PAGASA was changed - storms are no longer given female names only, will hit Metro Manila in a matter of minutes. As early as this morning, strong whistling winds can already be heard along with moderate rainfall. I still came to work and it was a surprise that the creek in the middle of Araneta Avenue is a meter away from overflowing despite the absence of strong rains. This is probably due to the increase in sea level due to strong winds as described by PAGASA. On my way to the office, I saw pedestrian struggling to keep their umbrellas upturned by the strong winds, their clothes clinging close to their bodies due to the winds.

Strikingly, PAGASA was able to predict this one typhoon accurately such that suspensions of classes in all levels were declared as early as early last night. This is quite a first.

I can hear the winds howling outside my window right now. The sky is very dark and cloudy. It is estimated that the eye of the storn will pass the Metro at around 11am which will be occasioned by a lull - the skies could probably clear and there will be absence of any strong wind. Within less than an hour, as the eye passes, the skies will darken and the winds will intensify again. The last time a typhoon made a direct hit on Metro Manila was way back in 1995 when I was still in college. I remember coming back to the U.P. Campus finding large chunks and pieces of decades old huge acacia trees lining the Academic Oval scattered all over. Some trees were even uprotted. Things are much different back then - there weren't too many billboards along EDSA for one. Neither were there plenty of skyscrapers. I hope the storm passes quite uneventfully, and for all of us to weather this, safely.

Steering the wheel? Not me!

2006-09-27T10:50:00.000+10:00

The statement "God works in mysterious ways" may be considered cliche but it was so true for me yesterday and today.

One of my favorite prayers which I admittedly have not been able to pray often (as I have been recently often guilty of being remiss in nourishing my faith and my soul) is the Prayer of Jabez which goes:

That you would bless me indeed!
And enlarge my territory
and that your hand be with me
to keep my from doing evil
so I may not cause pain.

That prayer, for me, embodies how I want to live my life doing the daily grind. Simply put, the prayer asks God to create new opportunities to be able to live my life as a testament to God's love, i.e. to do good works (hence enlarge the territory), of course, with God's guidance because even in the best intentions, our weaknesses as human could drive us to serve our selfish intentions and consequently cause pain or hurt to others by putting our own interests above others.

I am very grateful that, inspite of my shortcomings to Him, he gave me a mere tap on the shoulder to remind me that, "hey, you seem to be forgetting about me!" Come to think of it, he's been showering me with so much blessings. This is not to say that I have perfect life, it is just that he has given me the gift of seeing through his blessing in a haystack of challenges. My mom was recently diagnosed to have stones in her kidney but lo and behold, her ultrasound results yesterday showed that the stones in her renal pelvis (which were the ones most difficult to remove) are completely gone! Of course, there are still stones somewhere else but they have either shrunk or remained the same which is still good because it means her diet modification, water and buco therapy plus her 6 caps dose of Sambong daily are all working perfectly. I actually have a doctor friend who has been helping my mom recover and he is a blessing to us actually because he has been generously sharing his gift of healing to us, a rare gift which, I think, he has not yet recognized and fully realized. Our friendship with him is actually a disguised blessing in itself and as with my other friends, I am glad to have made the choice of the path of friendship inspite of and despite of previous circumstances.

Going back to the tap on the shoulder I was talking about, I was on my way home from work last night and was making much effort to get some sleep in the car because I felt cold and felt like I needed to wee wee. Still, I thought I could still wait till we get home to rush to the toilet. After less than an hour, I suddenly was jolted awake when my driver suddenly stepped on the break, causing me to hit my forehead on the padded headrest of the front passenger seat (didn't hurt a bit, actually). I saw that we were a few meters away from the intersection of Araneta Avenue and Quezon Avenue, the traffic light was still green and our right front side bumped the right rear bumber of a Toyota Altis. I also later realized that a taxi also bumped us from behind. I remember my driver explaining that the car in front suddenly stopped that's why we bumped him. MMDA traffic officers and a policeman arrived, pictures were taken and we headed to the Balintawak police station to get a police report. I found all our police officers and MMDA personnel nice and professional. Thankfully, the owner of the car (who is a Nestle employee) was cool. In fact, it was my driver who was a bit edgy, trying to persuade all of us that he stepped on the brakes, DIDN'T hit the car initially and was bumped by the taxi causing us to bump the car in front. Hmn... Honestly, I took his word for it and supported his statement before PO3 Pagtalunan (yep, that's his surname) BUT after reflecting over it several minutes later, I realized that his res gestae should be considered, in which case, it seems that he was too near the car and hit it when it suddenly stopped and not after we were hit by the taxi. Discussing it with my mom, we realized that even if the story of my driver was correct, the taxi didn't have comprehensive insurance and we could only ask them to pay for the repairs (which were really negligible) or the participation fee if our insurance would answer for it. In any case, the poor taxi driver will have to pay for it. He wasn't arrogant afterall so I thought what's a few thousand pesos? Not that I can afford it, it's just that, I can earn that money easier than him and there is really no point making life harder for him. I am actually thankful to God that that incident last night provided me with a test which I may have initially failed (by supporting my driver before the police and not letting the taxin driver off the hook right there and then) but now have realized how to correctly address. Me and my mom have decided to shoulder the cost of having the repairs done, not because we have spare cash (which we actually don't have) but because that burden will be lighter on us rather than on the taxi driver.

While at the police station, I got the chance to have a little chit chat with PO3 Pagtalunan who strikes me as a respectable policeman (it's really nice to meet one). I noticed that their 1 square meter detention cell had two prisoners inside and so I asked what are they being detained for. He told me that they have violated Quezon City's Anti-Barker Ordinance and since they didn't have money, they can't pay the bail (which, based on the Bail Bond Guide should be P1,000). And of course, since they don'thave money, they do not have a lawyer to process their papers so they can be released or at least transferred to the city jail. PO3 Pagtalunan said they actually make them clean the station and pay them with meals just to help them. I volunteered to give him the number of the U.P. Office of Legal Aid (OLA) so they can get a lawyer for free to help them with their release papers. For all we know, they might have already served a substantial amount of their penalties just by their detention at the police station. I once handled a case in OLA involving Q.C.'s Anti-Tattoo Ordinance which penalizes having a tattoo of the gangs (i.e., Oxo Sigue-Sigue, Sputnik, etc.) endemic in the City Jail. My client was a gay dance instructor and he has an Oxo tattoo I think because he was previously arrested for vagrancy and stayed for a month inside the Q.C. City Jail. Since he was gay, he was forced to join one of the gangs for protection, hence the tattoo. It is because of that tattoo that he was arrested the second time. We in OLA actually filed a Petition with the Regional Trial Court of Quezon City to have that Anti-Tattoo Ordinance declared as unconstitutional but since the case was not finished by the time I graduated, I do not know now what happened with it. And I thought the Anti-Tattoo Ordiance was absurd until I heard of the Anti-Barker Ordinance of Q.C. again! I am astounded that there is an ordinance in Q.C. which prohibits working as a barker. FYI, a barker is that person who calls on passengers to ride a jeepney, shouting the routes of the jeepney hence the term (i.e. "Dulo, dulo!" or "UP Campus!"). Why is this activity prohibited utterly escapes me and I cannot fathom what goes on in the minds of Q.C. Councilors (the Anti-Tattoo Ordinance was enacted in the 1970s while I do not have information when the Anti-Barker Ordinance was enacted) for them to enact this ordinance. Being a barker is a decent way to make a living afterall.

Incidentally, by way of example and as a matter of comparison, the Pasig City Council has an ordinance prohibiting tow trucks NOT authorized by the City Council from conducting towing operations within Pasig City. Now that is a sensible ordiance because the MMDA accredited tow trucks are proliferating the Ortigas area harassing motorists, issuing traffic violation receipts when in fact, the MMDA has not police power which authorizes them to issue TVRs and apprehend motorists without express authority from the city government.

Incidentally, I immediately asked for the CR upon arrival at the police station. I was directed to one which was not as slimy as expected. Despite not having tiles on the walls and having a mere tiny bowl (buhos system), it was relatively clean as it was well-lighted and it had water supply, a pail and a dipper. Problem was, as my hunch told me, there was a fat lizard which welcomed me immediately upon entering the toilet. I let out a screem and hastily went out of the toilet even before I could use it. The police station helper was quite alarmed why I was shrieking and was evidently amused to find out it was because I was terribly afraid of lizards. Needless to say, I was able to use the toilet only upon arriving home. Sob!

Anyway, I am so pleased to discover the past few months that the practising virtues feels good and feels right. Experiencing compassion, forgiveness and the like are "incapable of pecuniary estimation". It feels good because contrary to what you might expect, we are surrounded by circumstances which make it difficult to choose to do what is right. I do not want to sound self-righteous. I am only writing this to, at the very least, encourage others to do what is right, no matter how difficult it may intially seem to be because it feels good. In the light of the current political atmosphere where you have, on one hand, leaders seems to be inclined to distort right from wrong and put their interests above the people, and on the other hand, young activists who, in the pursuit of right, threaded the path of wrong and stooped down the level of those they detest such as in the case of the UP students who are members of Stand-Up (a break away group from SAMASA) and the LFS who pelted General Esperon with rotten eggs when the general was invited to attend a symposium sponsored by the Association of Political Science Majors (APSM). Their actions are deplorable and essentially, lamentable. They opted to live their lives according to Hammurabi ("an eye for an eye, tooth for tooth") rather than Christ's teachings that if a stone is thrown your way, throw back bread.

This morning, I found myself hearing mass at our office chapel. It is indeed wonderful how heeding his call when tapped made me end up being led by Him by the hand. God is good.

The Ahh in Spa

2006-09-24T23:58:00.000+10:00

A friend of mine recently asked me to recommend a value for money spa for her balikbayan relatives. I recommended her a spa and promised to give her a contact number. Ironically, while searching contact details of the recommended spa on the internet, I came across my own post (as hearrymione) dated May 10, 2005 (during my pre-blogging days) at Tsinoy.Com in response to a question by a forumer - "which spa would you recommend?" I was mortified when I noticed that I actually wrote that I'll be having a massage at this particular spa - and as it turns out, it was one of the WORST spas I have been too. And so I decided to update my Tsinoy post with this:

One of my guilty pleasures is having a massage, an activity which I consider to be purely hedonistic. I remember the first time I had a massage, it was done by our suking manghihilot, the night of September 4, 2001, the first day of the bar exams. It was probably one of the few instances when I had a massage when I truly needed one due to exhaustion and the need to relax. All the rest of the massage sessions, I had because I needed either some physical rest and relaxation, emotional respite or generally, a little bit of peace. After all, ideal massage rooms are generally very conducive to relaxation because they are quiet, they smell pleasant, have subdued lighting and comfortable temperature. Most of all, the pleasure of a touch is, whether we admit it or not, is a desired sensation that did not disappear as we grew up - - - the need is merely ignored and denied.

Six years since starting on the habit, I realized I have tried quite a number of spas and wellness centers. I've tried plenty enough, in fact, to be able to do a decent review and report of my quest of the ideal, perfect spa. Let me say at the onset though that finding one's ideal spa is very subjective but surely, tips and suggestions do come in handy. Personally, a massage which costs me more than P600, no matter how nice the spa is won't be on top of my list except if it was The Spa. This explains why the pricey spas in hotels and other spa resorts aren't listed here as no way will I spend more than a thousand bucks for a massage if I wanted peace of mind in the first place! :)

So here is my spa chronicles. Hope you get a tip or two where to run to if you ever need a good massage.

The Spa at the RCBC Plaza

Way back in 2003, when I was a member of The Spa at the RCBC Plaza (now known as Fitness First Plus), I used to have swedish massage at their massage center which is located at the same floor as their heated pool. I do not remember now how much it costs but it it probably around 600 plus but I had a discount as a member so I used the coupons. They have just three massage rooms, two solo rooms and a couple's room. The massage area doesn't have its own comfort room but other than that, it's one of my favorite massage places because it's the only one (as far as I know) with heated massage bed! Ang sarap talaga. And their therapists are personable and shows a ot of concern if the pressure is just right. Plus, the oils they use are aromatherapy oils with a lot to choose from. It was there where I discovered how much I like lavander. Hmn, I should get a massage there one of these days but only if they serviec non members too.

The Spa

Getting a massage at The Spa if you are not a member and do not have or use a Citibank credit card would cost you P780. That's for a massage which does not use aromatherapy scented oil and done in a common room. Still, one of my favorites is The Spa because they have well trained staff and personable too. The massage rooms are comfortably relaxing and the sheets are clean, they smell sanitary. So far, I have not encountered therapists at The Spa who are pasmado. Parang patay ang nagmamsahe sa iyo pag pasmado! A very big plus is their comforting and addicting salabat which I really enjoy sipping after a nice massage. I usually take it immediately after the massage while lounging at their comfty sofa area while reading the latest issues of trendy women's magazines. Wag lang may isang tropa ng mga nagtsitsismisan!

Orient Day Spa at Corinthian Plaza

I had the Thai Massage at Orient Day Spa when I was still working in Makati. It was actually a complimentary massage. Their facilitiis are okay, their sheets and towels are clean but I guess getting a massage by foot and all those pulling and stretching is just not my thing. Plus, I didn't like the comment of the masseuse, which she thought she made out of earshot, that I was so heavy.

Holiday Spa in Malate

This is the one inside Robinson's Place Ermita. I've been here about three times and the last time was literally the last! Good thing I discovered another spa in the area cause I tried Holiday in the firts place because I didn't know there were other better places. First of all, the ambience of Holiday Spa is quite far from other posh spas. You get the feeling that it caters to an older crowd and that feeling will be confirmed as soon as you step inside the common massage room. It smells like Omega Pain Killer. You actually have a choice between oil and efficascent oil but whichever you choose, you'd still end up smelling liniment anyway. The masseurs I've had were not all bad but the last one was terrible. Despite my request to have a soft to moderate massage, she massaged my neck area so hard natakot ako talaga na parang sinasakal na nya ako at balak patayin. I was flailing my arms in desperation. Expectedly, I suffered from a stiff neck immediately after that killer massage and had to endure that for weeks. Sob!

In Sense Wellness

If I had discovered this place earlier I woundn't even set foot inside Holiday. This heavenly place is located in front of the Court of Appeals complex along Ma. Orosa in Ermita, walking distance from Robinson's Place Padre Faura Exit. I would say, for its price (500) it's definitely one of the best. They use extra virgin coconut oil which isn't sticky and is easily absorbed by the body. The fee includes use of sauna and steam plus shower. Their massuesse aren't pasmado, well trained, personable and keeps all your body parts modestly covered during the enitre massage session unlike in some other spas na at some point (especially when you are already flat on your back) feeling mo nakabuyang yang ka. You don't feel tired after the massage. Too bad they do not have scented oils to choose from. All rooms are solo (no common rooms) which has a downside because they couldn't accommodate too many. The place is rarely full though which is a shame since it is really a nice spa. Even their manicure, pedicure and foot spa services are superb. These are done in their special section where they use subdued lighting, with soothing spa music to enjoy while propped up on a Lazy Boy! Manicure and pedicure costs only 150 each and that includes a hand or leg massage. At hindi sya parlor ambiance kasi dim lights at walang iikot ikot sa iyo. In Sense Wellness is worth visiting suggest you try it cause it's worth the trip.

Let's Face It at Prince Plaza

I also tried having a massage sa Let's Face It at Prince Plaza Makati. Mura sya at puwede na. But it's just that, puwede na but I tell you, there are other better places to have your massage. Even their masseuse are obviously not much trained for this. Stick to having facials here.

Urban Spa
I've tyried both the Chair Massage (its P500, I think) and the Express Massage (1 hour, P700) at Urban Spa at Shangri-la Mall and they're good. Pricey though, but good. Of course, the facilities are comparable to The Spa without the ginger tea of course. They do serve other types of equally relaxing teas like green tea and chamomile. If you want exclusivity and doesn't really care much for money, this is the place for you.

Blue Water Day Spa

Blue Water Day is a recent discovery. I had Tui Na (P650) a dry massage on August 5 at their Perea, Legaspi Village, Makati branch. (Incidentally, GMA was a few buildings away from Blue Water right the very moment I was having a massage!) Massage is done in individual rooms. You can opt to take a shower before and make use of their steam and sauna. The massage was also good and they also serve teas afterwards. I suppose I'll try their other massages next time as their choices are more varied that the usual swedish, shiatshu options in other spas. Tui Na is actually very relaxing and not tiring. It's worth having again.

Simple Pleasures
This place does not offer a full body massge, just a chair massage (P350) and a foot massage (P500). I've tried both services and they are excellent. Their facilities are also okay. For the chair massage, they use scented oils in small vials - not on your body but on the lining of the cushion for the face so you can smell the scent. It is basically a dry massage and they have male massuese if you are partial to hard massage. The massage is very relaxing, just like the foot massage which, though it doesn't include a pedicure, scrubs away all the rough portions of your feet. Plus, I really think the massage helps a lot in the improvement of blood in your lower extremities. Great fix after hours of shopping, really! Simple Pleasures is located at the ground floor of Greenbelt 3 near Pineapple, Mix and T.

Sonya's Bed and Breakfast
Yes, that's right. Aside from organic cuisine, I discovered that another well-kept secret at Sonya's Bed and Breakfast is its mini spa. I say it is mini because it seems having the spa was really not what Sonya intended her place to be. The massage center is right behind the homey cottages, near the property boundary/ravine. Me and my girl friends had swedish massage sans the aircon. First, you will have a shower at Sonya's pebble and cobblestone lined flooring, using Sonya's aromatherapy soap. I enjoyed the lavander soap so much I got a bar for myself. Also available for use are Sonya's organic shampoo (I had mint, I think) and conditioner. I was already relaxed even before the massage because of that shower. By the way, the bathroom is designed the same as the T/Bs in the dining area. The massage area is a common room but privacy is kept by way of thick curtains. I guess the downside here is having noisy people having their massage too but since we are a group of 4 and none of us are inconsiderate, noise was kept to a very comfortable level. The massage was one of the best I had since the massage room was comfortably cool (no aircon, just natural countryside coolness) and the masseuse are very very skilled. After the massage, I got to enjoy unlimited servings of warm dalandan tea with fresh mint leaves. Really blissful. I would be back more often if Sonya's isn't in Alfonso, Cavite. But if you are in Tagaytay anyway and have several hours to spare, a massage at Sonya's is one you shouldn't miss. Afterall, it's just 500 bucks. Really value for money. Tourists will surely have a field day reveling about it.

Boracay
Syempre, masarap magpamasahe sa Boracay! Mura pa! Kaya lang masyadong malagkit yung coconut oil na ginagamit ng mga manang. And you might not be too comfotable if you are conscious and wouldn't want to be seen semi naked by the beach. That's the down side, I guess. But you can have it in your hotel room, I think. Still, getting a massage while lying on the cool sand, your body being touched by the sea breeze is truly a one of a kind experience. Last time I was there, the massage cost P250.

Others
There used to be an Aromatherapy Massage Center in Greenbelt, in that building where Netopia and Max's used to be but it's been demolished now. I also tried Aromatherapy Center in Mega Mall. The atmosphere feels like its a cheap sauna. Imagine, for the sauna, I was asked to sit on a monoblock chair and a plastic cover was placed through my head - that's their makeshift steam. In Mega Mall naman, the towels and the sheets were really terrible. Smells like they weren't properly laundered and they were itchy! Needless to say I won't ever get back there. I don't remember how much exactly it costs but it wasn't too cheap which actually aggravates it.

I also used to have a massage sa Slimmer's World Pan Pacific. Their service is okay though if I weren't a lifetime member, it would have been 600 plus which is quite pricey considering they don't have steam and sauna which other people prefer. Massage is done in individual rooms which are comfty and relaxing enough. Sometimes the aircon gets too cold but they can adjust the temperature anyway. They don't use scented oil though but they allow you to use whatever oil you bring. It's just too bad that here is where I had an experience of being massaged by someone who is pasmado. Hate ko talaga yung pasmado yung kamay nung massuese! Grabe, torture! Parang patay yung humahawak sa iyo.

Another pasmado experience is at Metrowalk Spa. The massage costs P500 which is actually a good price considering their facilities and plus, the massage is done in individual cubicles. Problem really is they couldn't control the temperature so I ended up half frozen by the end of the massage such that I caught a cold. Hay! Would like to return though but the last time I checked it was on renovation.

I also tried Excelsior His & Hers Spa in Connecticut Greenhills. Massage is P450 and done in common rooms. Service and facilities are good enough but I guess it's quite out of the way because its not in a mall.

The Verdict
I think In Sense, Blue Water Day Spa and The Spa in Greenbelt top my list. On the bottom of my list is Aromatherapy Center.

The Dirt Road

2006-08-30T10:33:00.000+10:00

I was on my way to work today and tuned in to DZMM 630khz on the AM dial when I heard a news report about the East Service Road in Taguig not being accessible to vehicles. The cause of the traffic disruption is a group of settlers who barricaded the road with huge trucks, which tires they have flattened, and burned such that you could see the thick black smoke even from afar. This was at around 6am when traffic is about to flow in heavily from southern Metro Manila residents who do not want to take the South Luzon Expressway. (Read report here.) Apparently, there is a scheduled demolition of the area at 7am today by the Metro Manila Development Authority. In a brief interview with Mr. Vergel de Dios of the MMDA, he said that the residents are occupying a road right of way, thus the need to demolish their structures to ease traffic. Shortly thereafter, a woman who was introduced as the president of the homeowners' association was interviewed and she, in a very emotional manner stated that they are "pioneers" of that area since 1981 and they are very aggrieved that they will now be demolished and nobody is helping them despite the fact that a lot of politicians have been "benefitting" from them. She did not argue that they had any legal right to occupy the area, nor did she deny that their community was obstructing a road right of way - she merely declared that they do not have a place to stay and they would rather lose their jobs than the roof on their heads. When asked to expound, she further declared that administration and opposition alike haul them into joining rallies, and now that they need them, no help is at hand.

Notwithstanding the fact that this is not the first time I've heard of hakot crowd in rallies, hearing it directly from someone lamenting and expressing their feeling of being used strikes a cord. Undeniably, anarchy is the word most apt to describe the course of action that they took just to avert their imminent demolition. Her statement was clear, not only for her neighbors but for their kind - the urban poor - that they feel exploited, and indeed they are. They are poor and have remained poor because those who are in a position to alleviate their poverty, either by their single or concerted acts, have chosen to allow them to remain poor to be able to take advantage of them. They are uneducated and their reasoning is entirely misaligned with any educated person's reasoning. Being uneducated and poor could be their fault (they could be lazy, heavily indulge in vices, etc.) or not (they simply do not have much opportunity to better their plight) but certainly, on a macro level, those in power have a lot to explain for their condition - financial, mental and emotional.

Everything I heard today actually makes some sense of a story I heard that politicians, through their grassroots organizers, encourage urban poor informal settlers to populate just about any unoccupied, vacant land, have them registered as voters and be assured of a solid vote come election time. And since these informal communities are significantly denser in terms of population than your average middle class subdivision, even a high rise condominium at that, you can just imagine that the will of the urban informal settlers, or that of their benefactors will prevail during elections. Of course, other dirty tricks are not taken into account and shall not be discussed here.

The local and senatorial elections is less than a year away, assuming it will push through. I am disheartened to realize there is not much to hope from elected officials if the quality of choice of the voters and the standards they subject their candidates to are not based on the ability to steer the community or the country out of the dirt road. In the first place, for those whose criteria is performance for good governance, there seems to be no clear indicator which will pick out the rotten ones to be thrown out. Admittedly, those local executives with good intentions and who actually act to improve the people's lives inevitably clashes with the interests of those who utterly lacks the desire to follow rules, leaving the well meaning local executive with the unavoidable predicament of having to choose between waltzing with the beat or trudging the difficult part of the right, which choice can mean either the continuation or cessation of their political careers.

Evidently, absent any certainty that an informed, intelligent choice is sure to bring about the much needed change, voters decide based only on their immediate interests. The poor who has given up on principled voting votes for the candidate who bids the highest. Everybody else seems to vote for who is popular or for those who will serve their interest, noble or not. There is a minute percentage of the population who would vote for who they think is best qualified, notwithistanding the personal circumstances of the the candidate, as the more recent election results would show. Alas, if you are a qualified candidate with the best intentions, it is ineveitable ,and in fact, pre-requisite that you can catch the attention of the electorate either by doing some entertaining yourself or by making sure to bring a movie or tv star with you while campaigning.

Voters, in each and every time they cast their vote makes a gamble, playing a game of chance. For those with high hopes for this country, you can only hope that the winning candidate will make use of his term not to win in the next election but to make a difference in the lives of the people. One cannot help but lose hope just when we will finally get our act together and make our lives better. Ironically, we as a nation is not getting better probably because we are only working our way to make our individual lives better.

What sets us apart from war-torn Japan and Vietnam, from likewise colonized Malaysia and Jakarta, from Singapore which was practically ditched by Malaysia and thrown like an old, decayed, good for nothing rag? I think more and more and more and more I am led to one fact which is we utterly and abominably lack any sense of patriotism.

I fear that there are actually very few, and the numbers are even dwindling, Filipinos who see this country as their home, their family, their own. How can we go to the direction of progress when everybody goes his or her own way? The unpatriotic old people may be incorrigible - if you lack patriotism, you will not get that sudden inspiration at this point. But young people's ideals of a nation are even wasted away by the lack of proper instruction and the lack of persons to emulate patriotism from. Left and right, everyone else goes his or her own way, trying to improve our individual lives and not having even a flicker of space in our hearts to think what we can do to our country. And yet, we complain and complain incessantly, as if we are not part of the problem. Worse, our solution to our malcontent is to think of leaving and relocating some place else. Leaving the country per se does not make a person unpatriotic, I must say. It is only when we start thinking of leaving the Philippines to escape being a Filipino do we fall into this folly.

We do not realize it but Filipinos are in this pit because we all want to go our own ways, always for our personal gain and not for our country. Many of us think of leaving the Philippines to escape being Filipinos, to become Americans, Canadians, British. They do not realize that no matter how well they speak their adopted language, no matter how authentic their accents sound, no matter how far they are from the chaos and anarchy happening in the Philippines - they will always be Filipinos and the people of their adopted countries will, deep in their hearts and in conscience, will never see them as Americans, Canadians or British.

I am always incensed whenever I hear the ridiculous suggestion that the solution to our problems is to become a U.S. colony. As if the Americans ever wanted us to be them in the first place! They had their chance a century ago and their congress voted against it. An apt analogy is to say that they never wanted us as to be their wife, only their concubine.

Of course, hats off to Pinoys who leave the country but never allow the flame of hope for the Philippines to die, with all the intention to make use of their good fortune to help this nation. They, having the resources and opportunity, are actually potential beacons of hope for this country. Only when the viciuos cycle of stagnation, degeneration and lack of vision as a nation is broken by many when we can expect the wheels of this country to steer back into the course of the road to civility.

Is there hope for us? Certainly there is but how, I do not know. Perhaps, only when private persons decide to take matters into their own hands and disabuse their minds that it is only the government who has obligations to make the lives of their countrymen better when we will start the wheel of change to turn.

Making Every Word Tell

2006-08-24T17:02:00.000+10:00

Exactly a year ago today, I wrote my sixth post entitled, "Postscript on Date Dissecting." There is actually nothing that sets apart that post from my other blogs - but since I missed commemorating the first anniversary of my very first post on August 17, I might as well reminisce it today with my 6th. :)

Kidding aside, I consider my decision to start writing a blog one of the best decisions I have made. It is the ultimate self-actualization deed which I have done for myself which I would have deeply regretted had I decided to postpone, or totally do away with it.

Just the other day, I was watching the ABC News podcast where they featured seventy nine year old pensioner Peter (pseudonym: geriatric1927) who posts his videos entitled Geriatric Gripes and Grumbles in You Tube (click on Wikepedia article here). His videos were such a hit that by August 16, 2006, he has become the most subscribed user on You Tube. He has gained a considerable following and his fans are not admiring quietly. They have posted their own videos addressed to him, expressing their admiration, congratulating him and urging him to keep it up. Apparently overwhelmed by all the attention (he refused to grant even a single interview with any network), he aired his farewell video a few days ago, without appearing on screen, saying he will be busy the next few days but assured everyone that he will remain hanging around You Tube, watching videos.

Geriatric1927's rise to fame is not only truly phenomenal but also meteoric. His popularity highlighted the individual need to be heard and the apparent desire to listen and learn, as seen in his case where he caught the attention of You Tube viewers young and old alike. And who says only young people are tech savvy?

My own personal experience with the use of technology to go through the process of translating my thoughts and feelings into words was, and still is, gratifying. While sending a link to your blog instead of writing a personal email might take out the personal touch out of "keeping in touch", it is a good way to keep my friends up to date with how I have been spending every minute of my existence. Truth is, many of the things I write about I may not even have the guts to tell when speaking to a person face to face for the simple reason that a personal conversation is dyadic - two way while this exercise of writing is actually a written monologue. I am at liberty to write at will and my readers are at liberty to pay attention - or ignore me. That "take it or leave it" attitude is a little bit too crass for personal conversation.

A speaker in one of the lectures I attended over the weekend quoted from Strunk and White's Elements of Style. H said, "When writing, every word should tell." I quite agree with Strunk and White and I am grateful to the speaker for reminding me of that. Every word written should bear a significance to the entire train of thought. It is only through a conscious effort that effective communication can be achieved. I particularly liked the quote because I always catch myself tapping away on the keyboard, carelessly inputting words which confound my message. And come to think of it, getting your message across is the ultimate satisfaction a writer can achieve. And that gratification is what I strive for.

It would probably take a while (or maybe never) before I decide to make my own videos like geriatric1927. In the meantime, I will keep on doing this exercise as I know it is good for me and keeps me sane.

Amazing South Beach

2006-07-26T01:16:00.000+10:00

Today marks the fourth week that I've been on South Beach Diet, and I am glad to tell you all that I've got results, and they're great!

Not since that era when I was spending almost 3 hours in the gym four days a week have I lost this much weight - 14lbs! Admittedly, the look of my body is different now having lost the excess weight through diet and not primarily on exercise - I do not have the nearly Vina Morales arms. And seemingly, I look leaner and not bulkier.

What's great is my old clothes which were prematurely retired now fit me perfectly again, which is quite relief as that translates to lots of savings - I need not buy new clothes. Okay, okay, I'll be honest - I DID buy some new clothes but hey, you can't blame me. It's been ages since I was able to buy off the rack!

Maybe those who are unfamiliar to South Beach are wondering how it was able to accomplish for me what I have been trying to do for the past several years (in vain!). Well, I am simply not in the mood to go into the chemistry discussion how the food combination and method of the diet teaches the body to burn and lose the fat. Go grab a paperback copy of Dr. Agaston's book cause I'm sure he'll be able to explain it better. My only frustration with that book is the obviously western leaning recipes which actually comprise half of the paperback - very few, if none, of those recipes were actually realistically "doable" here in Manila - unless you are willing to spend much amount of money, of course. People have the impression that doing South Beach is expensive as you have to order food for it to work. Well, yes if you want the recipes in Dr. Agaston; but no, if you are willing to put some time to sit down, think and try hard to squeeze ideas from your head on how you can follow the basic principles of the diet and still save big bucks. At least for Phase 1 (which is the most difficult part of the diet), there are few principles which must be followed to help you get through it successfully:

1. Prepare and eat six (6) meals a day.

Yep, that's right. Read that again and realize that the emphasis is on prepare. But of course, eat is also important. The idea is, in order to survive Phase 1 (wherein you are forbidden to eat rice, pasta, fruits - yes, fruits - and all forms of starches and sugar) is to ensure that you will never be caught off guard and hungry that you will be forced to devour just about anything that is easily available. In a sense, South Beach is a lot of work but in my case, I was just willing to exert that extra effort picking my food rather than spending not less than 2 hours going to the gym. The meals have to be scheduled: eat breakfast then am snack and then lunch. In the afternoon, you can eat a pm snack, then dinner and midnight snack. Of course, the meals are not supposed to be really heavy but the idea is to ensure you'll never go hungry (and run berserk like a starved hippo).

2. Look at the list of allowed foods and make a list of your favorites which can fit into the list.

In my case, I like eggs (which are liberally allowed as they are good cholosterol), non-fat milk, ampalaya or bitter gourd, and all types of gourds for that matter, cheese (not edam cheese though), pistachios, tomatoes (and my current favorite drink is tomato juice). I also like eggplant and I have this recipe which I got from Del Monte Kitchenomics a decade ago which is one of my favorites - Laing - made of squash and pechay with coconut milk and tomato sauce. I like my coffee dark and thin, I love teas - black, green, chamomile, mint, and I drink lots of water. These all help me feel full all the time and all of these are allowed in Phase 1.

So for my breakfast, I usually have omelette either with tomatoes and onions or with cheese or with bits of canadian bacon (which is allowed cause it is lean). I eat my omelette with a glass of non-fat milk and that keeps me full for a few hours. For my am snack, I either drink my tomato juice with low fat cheese sticks bought from the grocery - it's the same one which is quite popular as kids' baon in school when I was in elementary. I interchange that with pistachios which you can eat as much as 30 pcs for snack. I usually eat just a few and stop when I'm satisfied. The cheese sticks and pistachios I eat either in the am or the pm snack. For lunch, mom (who's been a great help) would prepare sugpo or prawn sinigang or ginisang ampalaya. I can actually eat nilagang baboy without the potatoes, and just about any viand but I have to pick out and segregate the starchy ingrediants. For dinner, I have salad (I also like fresh greens) with bits of meat which otherwise I would have as ulam plus my favorite dressing - low fat blue cheese dressing or balsamic vinegar. I also make kani salad composed of cucumbers cut in strips, and kani sticks (about 4 pcs) generously smothered with japanese mayonaise (really yummy). During Phase 2, I added mango cubes for more flavor. Useful for the diet is a handy can of tuna chunks or flakes, even in the regular variety. I also use the spanish style variety. I'd also have spanish style sardines but only in Phase 2 cause spicy food reminds me much of rice! For midnight snack, I usually have it only when needed and its a slice of cheese and an unsweetended glass of non-fat milk.

One of the recipes I've tried is stuffed tomatoes. The filling is made up of egg, onions, ground beef and spices. I pan fry it till the halved tomatoes are tender. The filling when cooked tastes like burger patties. One useful tip from Dr. Agaston is to try eating a "sandwich" without the bread, just the meat wrapped in lettuce. Actually unbelievable but really delicious and satisfying.

Oh, I must mention that you can have artificial sweetener, unsweetened cocoa powder (which you can use with non-fat milk to imitate a choco drink), soy milk (taho - sans the sago and syrup- and tofu included), and vermicelli or sotanghon (but not the instant variety). If you can't survive without coffee, coffee is allowed with sweetener and non-fat milk. I discovered that Grandeur, a 3-in-1 coffee brand available in the market is South Beach-friendly. They say you can also have Seattle's Best or Starbucks coffee as long as you ask the barrista to use artificial sweetener. I haven't tried this though cause I find it doubtful. :)

3. Avoid processed food

Meats are allowed in Phase 1 but it is not a good idea to indulge in tocino, hotdog, meatloaf because it has gone through a lot of processing and the more processed the food is, the easier for your body to digest it AND the easier you will get hungry. Read the book for more explanation! :)

4. Do not deprive yourself

My last tip is to cheat. Yep yep. That's right. If it is unavaoidable that you are in a meeting and everyone else is eating a delicious piece of cake - go ahead, take bite. After one bite, I am actually satisfied that I got to find out for myself how it tastes and proceed with my diet. If you think you will trap yourself into engorging half of the cake by having one bite then don't do it. But most likely, if you have been religiously and methodically keeping yourself full by eating six meals, you are least likely to do that. Several times, I had soda of an amount equivalent to a spoonful, or half a spoon of fragrant rice - these did not ruin my diet but actually helped me go on for the simple reason that deprivation is the last thing you want to happen if you want to succeed in dieting. Anti-deprivation certainly worked for me.

Supposedly, you can lose as much as 8-13 lbs after 2 weeks of Phase 1. I lost just 8lbs but I was not disheartened as my weight loss continued the following weeks till I got to this. In Phase 2, you can eat fruits again (except canned fruits and even fresh pinapples). Potatoes, corn, including cornflakes and popcorn, white rice and regular pasta are still banned but you can sparingly indulge in whole, rolled oatmeal (not the quickcooking variety), wheat bread and brown rice. I am now in Phase 2 but I haven't had brown rice cause I'm too lazy to cook it. I never was able to figure out how to cook it properly that I'd rather not eat it than be bothered eating chunky rice.

What's best about this diet is once you've made a database of the allowed foods which you like and after the first 3-5 days of carbo and sugar withdrawal, it doesn't actually feel like you are dieting. I've lost weight and I'm still losing weight. I look better (which is really a mood booster!), I think! Now I have the courage to go back to my old gym and start working out again. Afterall, I can fit into my gym clothes again. :) I am also more inspired to do Pilates as my body is not as heavy as before which prevented me from doing the exercises properly. Losing stubborn weight is some sort of a going out of a cocoon. My goal is losing more weight enough to bring me back to my law school weight, which is actually a pound away from being overweight. I am not aspiring to become as thin as Wilma Doesn't or Phoemela Baranda (much less Keira Knightly!) as I know it would not look good on me. Normal weight will do. I have to keep up with Phase 2 of the South Beach till I reach that. After that is Phase 3 which I still don't fully grasp right now. Let's talk about that later. :)

A Glimpse of Jakarta

2006-06-11T14:20:00.000+10:00

A month ago I had my first business trip abroad. I was sent to Jakarta to assist in the holding of the board of directors' meeting of our Indonesian subsidiary. Naturally, I was so excited about the trip for many reasons. It was my first time in Jakarta andit is via the famed Singapore Airlines or SQ with a stopover at Singapore at that which means I can spend a few hours there to visit a friend, and it was all expenses paid. Jakarta would be just my the third overseas destination - yes, another stamp to add to my passport.

Day One - I woke up at 4:00 am, because I had to be at the airport by 5:30 am. I weighed my bags the night before and it weighed in excess of 20 kilos. Naturally, I panicked! Mon, my companion for the flight (who I haven't personally met) said he'd be there at 6:30pm. I prayed for things to fall into place and luckily, I found myself standing in line in front of Mr. Cabredo, one of the directors who will be attending the meeting with us. He agreed to check in my luggage with his and as it turns out my baggage is not in excess of the load limit since what is weighed is just the luggage to be checked in. Hehehe. I totally forgot about that! Di naman kasi ako masyado excited. Hehehe.

Flight is at 8:20 am but the plane had to queue at the runaway so we were able to lift-off at 8:40. We arrived in Singapore at 11:40am, barely enough time to run from the arrival gate to the boarding gate of the flight to Jakarta which is located at the other end of the very long terminal. It was like scaling Megamall Building A to Building B twice over. Needless to say, I was thirsty and out of breath when we arrived at the Boarding Gate where I met the other directors, Mr. Alejo, Mr. Tempongko who with Mr. Cabredo looked happy and refreshed unlike me. In just a matter of seconds after arriving, the boarding gate opened and we bagan our flight to Jakarta. It was a short one hour flight. Still, yummy lunch with equally yummy dessert was served along with a selection of wines (I had red wine). So that was how I spent my entire flight to Jakarta - eating. :) I need not say that since seeing the individual monitors per seat and having had my breakfast, I was already an SQ fan.

Oh, I also read the Strait Times (a major Singapore newspaper) and the Jakarta Post where I saw a notice that the auditing firm we were to appoint had changed its name. Shucks. That meant I'd have to revise the pre-prepared minutes of the meetings ready for signing, not to mention the script! Oh well, nothing can spoil my excitement nonetheless.

As soon as I stepped out of the departure area, I immediately perceived the uncanny similarity between Manila and Jakarta - is it the flourescent lighted airport, the courteous and smiling immigration officer at the checkout area, or the warm air pervading the building? My immediate impression was more than confirmed as we stepped out of the airport - even the vehicles and familiar and I could see that I couldn't tell the Pinoys apart from the Indonesians! Indeed they looked like our long lost cousins.

After a hour hour ride, we arrived at the Mandarin Oriental Jakarta where we are to spend two nights. Since the others proceeded with their operations report meeting, I took the chance to rest and unpack my things. After their meeting, we had dinner at Pondok Laguna. On our way there, I noticed that the street lights are much like the ones seen along Roxas Boulevard. :)

All I can say is that everything we ordered at Pondok Laguna were delicious and HOT! This is certainly the place to go to sample real Indonesian food. We ordered the "Dancing Fish", an artistically fried Garupa which meat was as tasty as its artful presentation. Other cuisines, while lacking in art more than compensated for its taste. The fragrant, fresh smelling boiled rice, or what we in the Philippines called kanin was served in a banana leaf lined native basket. Fresh coconut juices are served in its half-opened nuts. I do not remember the names of the dishes, only the experience of feasting on it. I particularly like the mildly hot and sour vegetable soup, similar to sinigang and Thailand's Tom Yam. No pork dishes were served of course so naturally, the dishes were low on bad cholesterol. Neither were beef dishes served but just the same, our group went home satisfied and very full. Pondok Laguna is one place I can confidently recommend as a must visit if you want to gastronomically experience Jakarta. If you think I can't run out of things similar between Manila and Jakarta - think again. Look at the picture which I took from the 19th floor of the hotel - traffic!

Day Two is meeting day. Breakfast was a long one which essentially cut my time for shopping. Before long it was lunch time and so I ate. Food was also served during the meeting (which went well, thankfully!) but I didn't touch any. Dinner was at Xin Hua, a Chinese restaurant at Mandarin. Needless to say, the food was yummy! It was only after the dinner when I finally had the chance to see more of Jakarta.

Mon and Jay of our Indo sub took me on a tour or the Merdeka Suare. We passed by several government offices, the Presidential Palace (which has Mendiola-like cyclone wires), and the Catholic cathedral in front of the huge, multi story mosque (mashid ia the corect term actually). Our last stop is the Monument Nasional or Monas, an obelisk with a flame atop. The golden flame on top the Monas is made of real gold a gift from the former USSR to Sukarno which gift spurred negative sentiments toward him accusing him of being left-leaning. Sukarno was ousted from office soon via a coup led by Suharto.

Day Three was spent going to the airport en route to Singapore where I spent a copuple of hours having lunch with a friend. My trip to Jakarta literally offered me a mere glimspe of it. A week after my visit, Mt. Merapi erupted and a month later there was an earthquake at Yogyakarta. Still, I look forward to visiting Jakarta once more to see much more of it. Next time, I'll make sure to have no less than an adventure.

Pause

2006-05-23T17:59:00.000+10:00

Screeech!

Okay, now that's better. Allow me to catch my breath please. Whew. Things have been busy busy busy for me the past few weeks and though I'm still in the thick of it, I just want to drop by here and satisfy that part of me which desires to write a blog entry.

It's been a month since my last blog and I still haven't written anything despite the fact that my mind overflows with things, places, people, and thoughts I want to share with you. Equally overflowing perhaps is my in-tray which, for some reason or inspiration, I have the compulsion to get it over and done with as quick as possible. And so I will indulge with a few minutes of borrowed time to give an update.

The good news is I've never been happier at work, at least here in my present employment. I already know a lot of people and I have a good working grasp of how the business operates which is actually quite exciting. The work that I am currently doing is perceived by my as important (now, that's crucial) and I have gained enough confidence to go through my work day dealing with clients. All in all, I'm happy with work and what happier is that this happiness is not because of monetary satisfaction (isn't that great?). I remember as a child, I on my own realized that I'd only be happy if I am contented and yes, that's where I am now. Of course, being content right now doesn't mean there is a lack of desire to be better. It's more like this - I like it where I am now and I am not miserably hoping to be some place else - which doesn't mean that I can be happier. I am just grateful for the blessings that I have. Come to think of it, it was when I realized that blessing are a gift and not a matter of right did I allow peace and contentment enter my heart. It is really a great feeling to be grateful to Him.

Quiet!!!

2006-04-19T11:56:00.000+10:00

Nowadays, don't you just find yourself not being able to find a quiet place when you want some peace and quiet?

I remember back in grade school, being the class beadle, I used to shout on top of my lungs "quiet!!!", mimicking how our teacher attempts to pacify her rowdy students. Somehow, my shouting seems to have the effect of knocking my classmates back to their senses and return to proper deportment while inside the classroom. Of course, I soon realized the irony of that yelling technique of mine (and my teacher) as I got older. Now, I simply helplessly sigh whenever I want some quiet and couldn't find it.

Lucky or unlucky, I think that relatively, I have a more keen sense of hearing that others. When watching a movie inside the Shang Cineplex, I realized I was hearing MRT trains speeding by. None of my companions or other friends who've been inside Shang Cineplex seem to have noticed that. While listening to music using earphone, I realized that my preferred volume is way too faint for my friends. And speaking of earphones, I do listen to music on my earphones just to drown out the noise in the office. Noise versus noise.

Lately, however, I frequently find myself asking, "Ha? Ano? I beg your pardon?". Yikes.

In the office, wherein the set up is open cubicles and no walls, I have no choice but to endure noise coming from officemates who are chatting, grumping, or as simply conversing at the same time. Thankfully, we are way beyond the age when dot matrix printers jabber like jackhammers so office equipments do not cause much noise nowadays as before. I am sometimes delightfully surprised whenever I leave my desk, with a slight headache, and enter the restroom and find myself smiling at the discovery that the most quiet, serene place in the office is the REST room - yes, rest for my abused, battered ears.

(Sometimes, I miss having my own office like the one I used to have in my former job at the law firm. We have our own, relatively spacious rooms and a solid door at that. I miss that kind of privacy and it certainly was very conducive to concentration which was much, much needed back then - with the humongous workload and endless flurry of deadlines.)

At home, where each room has its own television set, I have no choice but to either select which program I have to watch or bury my head under pillows to try to delude myself in vain that the only noise in the room is the noise of the airconditioner. It was actually a big relief and a delight when I was finally able to clean my room and make it habitable because I now have a place to stay on weekends where I have a choice if I want to watch DVDs (I need not turn up the volume because there are subtitles, of course) or simply doze away with the sound of bird twittering in the background, enjoying themselves in our lush mini garden, the greenest in our neightborhood which is traversed by a national road (yes, ten wheelers on their way to or back from the province pass by in front of our house on a daily basis, not to mention almost every rampaging firetruck on its way to just about every fire emergency in the western and eastern police district jurisdiction).

Just this Sunday, my mom and I attended the birthday party of my inaanak at Jollibee Taytay. As we came in early, we waited outside the party area and endured the loud (as in really loud) music being played by the staff. I even saw the store manager himself turning up the volume when Ang Huling El Bimbo was played. Quickly, my mom and I caught a headache and needed to shout just to be able to converse. This isn't the first time I stepped into a Jollibee store and attended a Jolly Kiddie Party and experienced hearing abuse. In fact, many fastfood restaurants nowadays play blaring music for reasons I do not comprehend. Is it because their staffers are deaf? Is it because their staffers are young and young people like their music loud?

Geesh, I remember less than ten years ago when you only need to speak loud or move closer to your date's ear if you are in a disco. Now, anti-conversation venues seem to be the norm rather than the exception. I wonder if indigestion inducing noise is deliberately inflicted on diners to make them not feel they are full and so they will order more? Okay, I'm being malicious. Drop it.

Thankfully, there are still places where you can have some relative peace and quiet while eating - it's just that these places are relatively pricey compared to noisy fast food outlets. Some establishments however have bad acoustics so that normal conversation by its customers are amplified and seems to reverberate around. I particularly noted Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf in Greenbelt 3 to be a noisy place as it seems to multiply the sound of chattering customers. Seattles Best and Starbucks certainly outdid them when it comes to being more date friendly, giving justice to the "Let's have coffee" line.

Actually, I didn't realize that my addiction to the spa and other wellness centers was due to my need to have a rest, which essentially is putting all my senses to rest. I wish they could invent something less uncomfortable as earplugs (they caused me ear infection sometime ago) to minimize the perception of noise without in turn creating noise. Or perhaps, an anti noise foundation should be set up to, among others, put up signs in establishments to signify if such establishment is ear-friendly. Maybe soon, establishments will offer services wherein you will pay to have a few minutes of peace in quiet even in the middle of a mall, in the midst of a busy metropolis. Afterall, buying water for drinking was unthinkable a decade ago.

Bugs and Glitches

2006-04-05T11:02:00.000+10:00

I am fond of Mozilla Firefox, and definitely, it is my preferred browser over Internet Explorer (is Netscape Navigator still around?). I particularly like Firefox because it allows tabbed browsing as compared to IE which would open a new window each time you need to view another page. I have recently found the google toolbar really helpful because whenever I need to search, I need not open a new tab to go to the google homepage - all I need is to type the search word/s in the search window which is always available at the upper left portion of the browser.

Recently, however, I noticed that some of my favorite sites have been deleted from the favorites list. Some of these sites are for personal use while most are for research so it was really inconvenient. I initially suspected if anyone from our office network has been tinkering with my computer via the shared network. I noticed that even if I un-share mg files, it is always on share mode the next time I restart. Nonetheless, I just diligently unshare my folder to shield it from prying eyes.

Yesterday was different. In the middle of looking at sites on Chinese labor laws, my Firefox asked me to change my profile and after one big clicking mistake, I found my Firefox totally devoid of my password, my favorites, my history - plus, the Google toolbar is missing. While searching the net,,I discovered some sites critical of the Google toolbar, attributing certain bugs and glitches on it which can potentially erase data such as favorites from the browser. So that was it! Sigh.

Oh well, I am a Google addict and I realized I couldn't really work with a browser without a Google toolbar. So I uninstalled my Google-less Firefox, downloaded the latest Firefox with Google toolbar and installed it. And so, I'm back with my Google enhanced Firefox, having in mind that I should take note of my favorite sites independently and not rely on my browser.

Oh well...

Incidentally, I found out that this site is best viewed using Firefox as the right sidebar is pushed down after the main box when it is viewed using IE. There is a solution but some tweaking has to be done. In order to view this site properly in IE, you have to view this site and then right click on any portion of the page. A menu will appear. Click "Encoding" and choose "Western European". That fixes the problem.

Going to Cheung Chau

2006-04-03T19:23:00.000+10:00

Literally, Cheung Chau is the Cantonese noun which means "long island". Nope, I'm not going to NY because Cheung Chau is the tiniest island in Hong Kong which is shaped like a Coca-Cola bottle, post war era. In fact, I have recently been to it -- in thoughts only though.

Despite visting Hong Kong over two years ago, I have not heard about this tiny Hong Kong island, off the coast of Lantau Island - yes, the airport and Disneyland island, even though I've read about Lamma Island whose beaches, my friend says fell short of his Boracay white sand standard. It is only when I came across an advertisement in Businessworld for the Hong Kong Tourism Authority, soliciting entries for an essay in answer to the question did I came to know about Cheung Chau island. The question goes, "which of the four festivals during the Culture and Heritage Celebration would you like to see and why?" In the same ad, it was stated that the four festivals are the Birthdays of Tin Hau, Buddha, and Tam Kung, and the Cheung Chau Bun Festival, all of which are to be held between April 27 and May 7 this year. I quickly searched the net to know more about these festivals. Since the criteria for judging were creativity, impact, originality and cohesiveness/knowledge of Hong Kong, I read the write-ups posted at the HKTA website and then veered away from what I perceived were typical sites which would be read by would-be contest participants like me.

And so, this morning, I wrote my not more than 10 sentence essay in answer to the contest question which goes:

The Cheung Chau Bun Festival - the mere privilege of being a spectator is an experience I am most certainly looking forward to when visiting the "Fragrant Harbor."

Legends abound that Cheung Chau island, less than an hour away from Central via ferry and off the coast of Lantau Island (famous for Po Lin Monastery and its Giant Buddha and recently, Mickey Mouse's abode, Disneyland) has hidden treasures from pirates' booty, whose excursions to Cheung Chau was put to an end only after the rise of the temple in honor of Pak Tai, the Taoist God of the Sea. While digging is most certainly forbidden in the island, Cheung Chau's secrets caves with neolithic carvings, cradles artifacts of an ancient civilisation - its rich cultural traditions and the community's peaceful existence are like an enchantress which mesmerizes one to cease resisting the urge to take a dip and wade through the experience that is Cheung Chau. For such a tiny, seductively shaped island, it is a gastronomic paradise seeping with culture which intoxicates visitors to forget the fast-paced grind of the industrial world and submerge in its environ surrounded by inviting shops, ubiquitous sampans, windsurfing beaches and magestic temples. And as if it is not enough that the island itself is a beauty on its own, the weeklong Bun Festival, promises to bring to life the word "festive" in all sense of the word, rivaling any other cultural celebration for its vibrance, color, people and pomp. The bun race at the end of the festival calls to mind the palo sebo in Philippine fiestas where townspeople race to climb a greasy bamboo pole for a prize, only that the prize found at the end of the poles in Cheung Chau are buns, which are gastronomic delights in their own right. Children clad in colorful costumes, heart-thumping parades, and traditional Chinese opera are sights which I look forward not to miss. The mere thought of experiencing the Cheung Chau Bun festival floods my entire being with excitement. The food, the island, and the enveloping festivities permeating the air during the Cheung Chau Bun Festival is truly a hypnotic spell worth giving in to.

It would be nice to win the prize which is a 3D/2N Hong Kong package for two, inclusive of hotel accommodations, airport transfers and a half day city tour (hopefully no expensive portraits on ornate plates!). Still, the whole experience of discovering that peaceful tiny island in Hong Kong brought my thoughts back to planning a trip to Hong Kong. Afterall, I know now that I have other choices other than the staple and sole-ripping shopping, always on brisk mode streets and endless sightings of Giordano stores.

Project Room Revival: Mission Accomplished!

2006-03-28T08:15:00.000+11:00

Never will I ever let my room be dirty again!

At last, after more than one week of clean-up, clear out, repainting - literally turning my room inside out - my room is again fit for human habitation. Yehey!

What you see in the picture are my magazines (Cosmo, T3, FHM, Fortune, Asiaweek, Time, Newsweek, Mega, etc.) arranged neatly inside color-coordinated boxes. I placed them at the foot of my bed so I can easily reach them when I feel like browsing. Hi from Winnie the Pooh and friends!

Here are my books. :)

Here you see my shoe rack where I keep shoes I frequently use. I've taken pictures of my shoes and printed them on sticker paper so I wouldn't have to open all the boxes when looking for a shoe to wear.

On the right, you can see my study table (the one given to me by my Lolo Pendong with the revolving chair given by my Ninong when I entered law school. To the left is my T.V. which I bought from China. In between is my shoe rack bought from Ace Hardware in SM San Lazaro where I also keep bags which I currently use.

Here's a peek at my blue-tiled bathroom. You should see my toilet seat cover - it has a picture of the Statue of Liberty in the cushion! :) You can also see my other shoes, all in boxes with pictures.

These are my CDs and VCDs plus some DVDs. Other DVDs are kept in a separate box, not too big as I don't have much anyway. I arranged them, separating the soundtracks, the female and the male artists, the groups and the compilations. The movies are arranged based on genre.

You can also see my wardrobe, DVD player, non-functional subwoofer, clock and rattan clothes hamper which was bought from a buffalo-pulled caravan which I don't see anymore.

So there. It took a lot of hardwork but obviously, I'm really proud of the result. Wish me luck so I can keep it that way. :)

Maghuhugas Kamay Ako!

2006-03-24T12:45:00.000+11:00

The great news is my room is now good as new - newly painted from ceiling to the walls, and fresh and bright linoleum flat on the floor. My bed is made, cabinets are organized, and yes, my TV set is also newly repaired. (I discovered in the course of moving back my things, after painting, that my TCL 29" TruFlat TV set is busted. The authorized TCL technician arrived the following day and repaired the loose CRT Blue - whatever that is, and did some soldering here and there before replacing the buttons for the controls. All defects were apparently due to wear and tear. I was happy to hear that my TV is one of the best models of TCL - I didn't know of such fact when I bought it.) Had to shed a few bucks though - ouch! This weekend, I will connect the wirings between my TV and DVD player plus speakers/subwoofer and I can now enjoy my favorite movies in my bedroom again!

Well, not so great news is I got sick last week. After arranging my things, non-stop the entire day on Thursday, I took a bath and went to my mom's room to watch our favorite TV shows. Even if I wanted to continue watching John Lloyd's portrayal of U.P. Diliman contemporary Raymund Narag, I felt weak and tired and very very cold. I was surprised to find myself unable to bear the room temperature of the airconditioned room and took another blanket - a thick one, to wrap myself with. Despite that, my teeth were chattering, yes they were, but I was already too tired so I quickly feel asleep. In two hours, at 1 am, I woke to an aching tummy and headed straight to my own comfort room, still feeling cold and weak. I was quite concerned with the signs of LBM and at the same time, I had a feeling I had a fever, not to mention aching joints and muscles. I tried to get my temperature using a thermometer but I was too weak even to shake the mercury down. I decided to go back to bed, and laid down with my stomach flat on the bed. In the morning, I had several trips to the C.R. and had 38.6 degrees celsius temperature on the average the entire day. All along, I thought I was just unlucky to have influenza and LBM at the same time. I was unable to go to work that Friday and also failed to go to Baguio to attend a friend's wedding on Saturday. It was only at 3 am on Saturday when I thought of texting my doctor friend Lisa about my condition. She advised me to go to a hospital and to stop taking analgesics because it would mask the pain and we wouldn't know the symptoms. I also got concerned cause unlike the previous day when I was suffering from flu and was just enduring the frequent trips to the C.R., I began experiencing abdominal pain on Saturday and I was worried what if it was my appendix. I went to the emergency room of St. Luke's Hospital in the morning and had fecalysis and blood tests done. After several hours, I was diagnosed to have acute gastroenteritis which is caused by bacteria I could have eaten. My attending physician, Dr. Paulo Estioko said I could have gotten it from dirty food, water, utensils or dirty hands. It was then that I realized that I wasn't really careful about those things. I've always thought that I had a very resilient stomach and I had the antibodies I need to ward off germs. The bacteria must have been potent for my body to react that way. Dr. Estioko said symptoms could be felt within 6-12 hours from entry of the bacteria into the body. I was given rehydration treatment, which actually made my stomach ache some more. Ironically, after I was given medication (Ciprofloxacin, to be taken at 12-hour interval) and was made to take hydrite (yukk!), my fever went away but the abdominal pain became more severe. Add to that, I experience pain whenever I ingest anything - even just water with hydrite, and in a matter of minutes, what I took in would be expelled out of my body anally. I called the E.R. of St. Luke's on Sunday to report my condition, as instructed in the discharge information, and I was told to return to the hospital to be confined. It's a good thing that for some weird reason, my LBM and abdominal pain stopped after lunch. I took a rest on Monday after I went to Dr. Gerardo Pura for consultation (Dr. Pura, incidentally, sounds like and kinda resembles my friend, Teng Gerochi, pero mas guwapo si Teng). As he instructed, I had my upper abdomen ultrasound and fecalysis in the morning of Tuesday, March 21. I had a follow-up check up with Dr. Pura again on Thursday, March 23 and aside from prescribing OMZ, an antacid, he advised me to lose weight by avoiding fatty and oily foods since my ultrasound shows a fatty liver which could possibly cause inflammation and, God forbid, hepatitis. (Panic!)

And so, for a few days now, I have been avoiding pork and any kind of fried food. I've also been drinking Yakult to make my tummy more resistant to germs. I've been eating a lot of fruits and have generally reduced my food intake. Most importantly, I've been consciously keeping my hands clean by washing with soap and rubbing on alcohol whenever necessary. Mahirap na. Nakakadala magkasakit huh.

Project Room Revival

2006-03-15T13:55:00.000+11:00

More updates on my room revival project.

My sister is an angel! I got home Monday night to see that she has gained a lot of headway from where we left off on Sunday. Vinyl tiles have been peeled and my stuff are all outside my room. Good thing we had some free space in the patio! I came home last night to see she has painted the walls baby pink and the ceiling clean white. It's just amazing. My mom also had the old reliable plumber replace the u-shaped sink drain, shower head, and water closet lever. I myself came home from Ace Hardware with my haul of more materials for waterproofing and sealing water seepage from our garden plus the 9x2 yards of linoleum to replace the vinyl. I plan to install ceramic floor tiles later but that's really later so I guess the linoleum would do for now. I was also at Ace Hardware on Friday where I bought squegee, scrub and other cleaning implements. Last night, I moved my humongous wardrobe cabinet with wardrobe length mirror doors with the help of my brother. Ang bigat! Once cleared, I painted the remaining unpainted areas and went on to mix the waterproofing cement and pathed all suspicious gaps which would hopefully prevent any more seepages. Hay! I retired to sleep with an aching body but surely much less than my sister who's done 90% more than I did! I think she continue minor paint finishing work and hopefully later, be able to install the linoleum and move back my things.

I feel like taking a leave tomorrow...

FINALLY!!!

2006-03-13T13:46:00.000+11:00

After almost three years, I've finally began cleaning up my bedroom. Yes, shameful it is to admit - this is my dirtiest secret.

For three years now, I have been sleeping in my mom's bedroom. It has been very practical and convenient to stay there where I can wake up my mom in the middle of her nightmares and at the same time enjoy the comfort of an airconditioned room, minimizing on electricity costs since my own aircon has remained shut for the longest time. At one point, our electric bill in the house extension (where my room, my sister's room and a spare kitchen is located) got as low as less than P100.

My refugee status in my mom's bedroom wasn't really economically driven. Truth is an incident left me severely depressed around June 2003 that I couldn't bear to stay in my bedroom alone. Having been able to recover a bit around February 2004, I started to sleep in my room again. What drove me out again were tons of paper and other trinkets I brought home from my room in the law firm which I resigned from. I think I stayed in my room for two months until the hanging bookshelves were installed in my entire west-facing wall which left inches of concrete dust lying around and permeating my decaying bed. Sigh. It was a mess, and even after I cleared out extra paper and threw out some stuff, my bedroom was still unhabitable. Add to that, I had another emotional blow which drove me to my mom's bedroom again. By then, I was already very much aware that the state of my room reflects me - how I keep a lot of things inside and how I refuse to let go of trash. Another change of employer added a bit more stuff in my bedroom and more reasons to move out. Occasionally, I would use my room to view DVDs but a recent incident of a baby scorpion crawling on my thigh left me frantic and so I resolved to clear out my room of clutter and trash once and for all.

I initially had very ambitious plans to renovate my room such as repainting, replacement of bathroom fixtures and lighting as well as installation of tiles to replace chipping vinyl. However, budget contrains made me temporarily shelve my plans.

The possibility of friends having to sleep over for our Baguio trip finally drove me to do the long delayed clean up. With the help of my sister Luchie and Jojit, we were able to accomplish sorting out paper ready for trash or the bote, garapa, diyaryo. Basically, I threw out everything I will no longer be able to read, and that includes photocopies of cases used in law school and during bar review. Note that I took the bar in 2001. We also sorted wedding, birthday and events invitation into a nice clean box, arranged magazines, CDs (I didn't realized how much I had), DVDs and books which are all neatly arranged on my shelves. Shoes were cleaned and boxed, clothes were sorted, and bags arranged. I'm planning to take pictures of my shoes, print it via laser printer and pasted the pics on the shoe box so I wouldn't have to open all the boxes when looking for shoes. I was surprised to find a few unused bags which actually looked nice so I wondered why I never got to use them. Come Sunday, we were able to clear out all the clutter on top of my bed and the monoblock table which I used for bar review. All extra toiletries collected from hotel stays were packed ready for donation. All souvenir shirts from bar ops and other clothes with sentimental value (such as the sweater which my bestfriend Monette sent me from Sun Valley, CA way back in 1994 and a basketball team jacket from my crush) were packed, sealed and stored in my cabinet. We weren't able to start with the clean up but we are almost done with the clearing up. Hopefully today, the plummer will fix the sink elbow, water closet and shower head, and fresh linoleum will be bought from stores. I might buy a new TV/video rack tonight and proceed with the clean up. My sister promised to take out the mattress and pound away dirt and dust. I might be able to sew the cover for the bed and do the rearranging tomorrow. So far, the project is on track and hopefully, I will have a bedroom suitable for habitation by Wednesday.

Whew!

Save us from the Dementors

2006-03-07T18:49:00.000+11:00

Riddikulus! or rather, Expecto Patronum!

From February 24, 2006 to March 3, 2006, I put to halt any plans to go out with friends and have fun. Why? The President has declared a State of Emergency that's why, and whatever thoughts I might have on the plausibility and probabilities of the stories afloat during that time, I did not take a chance at exposing myself to harm. There was danger indeed but the possible danger is not only from what the government had identified as dangerous. The danger is from dangerous minds.

Towards the end of last year, I posted Table 25 about my thoughts on what to do with Gloria. Essentially, I said nothing. Nothing should be done about Gloria. Something had to be done with ourselves. That post was overtaken by recent events last week. Let me clearly state on the outset that I am not pro-Gloria. In fact, I abhor her. Nonetheless, I do not want her ousted through a military coup but I will certainly not hate military coup plotters if they succeed in doing so, especially if their reasons are out of sheer frustration due to the ignominy of being in complicity with election rigging that she has inflicted on them.

Gloria Arroyo's acts and the acts of her minions the past week was taken by me as, borrowing from Teddy Te's words, a personal insult and an insult to the legal institution to which I belong. I hate the way she harassed and has been harassing the media, specifically ABS-CBN (the nerve of Mike Defensor to ask Henry Omaga Diaz to stop covering the Marines standoff), and I hate the way she, and once indefinitely suspended from the practice of law (in)Justice Secretary Raul Gonzalez refers to party list solons as subversive, as if being subversive was a crime when in fact, it is no longer a crime as the anti-subversion law has been repealed. I hate the greed and thirst for power I see in her eyes. I did not like what happened last week.

But let me stop there. Last week's events elicited not only feelings of contempt and one sleepless, dreamful night (Sunday night, it was); it also elicited amusement and yes, I'd say some were outright hilarious. These are a few notable comic reliefs from last week's brouhaha:

1. Martial Law na ba?

AFP Chief of Staff Generoso Senga, on several occasions during interview, referred to Presidential Proclamation No. 1017 as "Proclamation 1081".

Now that's what you call an honest to goodness slip of the tongue.

2. "Madame President, you're a second rate, trying hard copy cat!" - Imee Marcos

As in, "Whhat?!" I never thought I'd live the day to hear Imee Marcos say something like that. Considering her known antogonism towards GMA and her declaration of State of Emergency, saying GMA is a copy cat of her dad, in whatever way she meant that (if indeed she had actually put some thought before saying it) , is outright laughable. Well, truth is GMA seems to be "Marcosian" these days and the word Marcosian has been used by so many people before Imee blurted her "copy cat" line but the impact is just so different, the words coming from her.

All I can say is, napanood nya din ang Bituing Walang Ningning?!

3. Ang mga Langaw - BOW!
(Subtitled, Ang Queribin na Walang Langit)

My Sunday habit of watching The Buzz was interrupted just as Boy Abunda was interviewing Ruffa Gutierrez-Bektas to give way to Ricky Carandang's live report from the Marines Headquarters in Fort Bonifacio where Col. Arnel Querubin with a batallion of in full battle gear Marines accompanied by Simbas and other military vehicles that those who cannot distinguish generically call "tanks". Col. Querubin was obviously upset about his commandant's being relieved but it was also clear that he was annoyed at the swarm of, not flies, but reporters hounding him wherever he goes. At one point he asked them to clear because he was supposed to give orders to his men who were in formation. Expectedly, none of the reporters heeded his plea, as if falling on deaf ears. And so Querubin turned to the left and his entourage of reporters moved along with him. Para talaga silang mga bangaw! I say, GMA should thank the media for if not for them, Querubin could have commaned them to aim their guns at her and fire away.

4. Mikee and the coup-plotters

When my friend Oli first told me about it, I thought it was a joke but indeed, in a matter of hours, it seems everyone else is talking about the alleged coup-plotting.

In a Time Magazine article by Brian Walsh dated February 24, 2006, he narrates the account of Nelly Sindayen, Time Magazine correspondent since 1971, who claims to be have been present at the house of Peping Cojuangco who was plotting to overthrow the government along with Boy Saycon, both of which Sindayen heard conversing with Capt. Danny Lim and a U.S. Embassy Official. The story was so detailed as to mention that chicken sandwiches were served by none other than Peping's daughter Mikee. I do not know which is more ridiculous, the thought of a Time Magazine reported concocting a story to implicate the Cojuangcos and Saycon (both camps have strongly denied the veracity of Sindayen's story) or the idea that coup plotters actually invited a reporter to witness their plotting. Either way, truth is indeed stranger than fiction.

5. The Starbucks lightning rallies

A few days before March 3, 2006, I got in touch with friends and acquaintances from alternative law groups to obtain a copy of the petition filed by them in the Supreme Court challenging the validity of Presidential Proclamation 1017. Naturally, aside from forwarding me the petitons, I also received emails regarding the planned rally by the Integrated Bar of the Philippines in Edsa Shrine. I also got emails from the mailing list of my undergrad org about the BlackFridayProtest movement which plans to hold lightning railles beginning on Friday, the same day as the IBP rally. The BlackFridayProtest is organized by the Black and White Movement which turns out to be the led by Enteng Romano, the e-mandirigma who led email info drive against Erap from the time of the scandals which started surfacing mid-2000, the impeachment which began November 2000, until it culminated in Edsa Dos in January 2001. Being part of the e-mandirigma mailing list of Enteng before, I decided to subscribe to the BlackFridayProtest mailing list which promised to give update where and when these lightning protests are.

Come Thursday, I got an email from the BlackFridayProtest mailing list. Lightning protests for Friday are to be held at any Starbucks cafe near you. Hmnn... my impression is this:

Gosh, it's so coÃ±o!

In fairness to them, who has access to email and would be ready to heed the call of an e-mandirigma? The yuppies of course. And what is the favorite hang-out of yuppies? Starbucks of course. Nothing wrong I suppose, it's just that they are indirectly enriching the Tantocos in the process (okay lang guwapo naman si Donnie) as the instructions were to order coffee in a straight line and linger for 30 minutes. Take note that Starbucks goers usually do not stay in Starbucks for just 30 minutes. I wonder if they ran out of coffee beans for the day?

Okay, okay! To silence critics, next time sa Jollibee dapat mag lightning protest ang BlackFridayProtest movement. Tapos sa palengke, at lahat sila bibili ng tig-iisang tingi na itlog... tapos ibabato nila sa picture ni GMA. Oops! Baka sabihin inciting to sedition ito. I better stop here.

6. GMA for GMA

I do not know what the hell she was thinking, having a one-on-one interview with Mike Enriquez and praising his ugly face, saying that GMA's credibility and veering away from seditious reporting is what makes them number one and far ahead of the number two. Nakakasuka. GMA better think twice before embracing GMA's praise lest they diminish the piercing effect of their walang kinikilingan, walang pinoprotektahan, walang kasinungalingan, serbisyong totoo lamang spiel. Well, maybe they can even lend it to her and maybe that will make her number one too.

Ang pikon ay laging talo.

--------------
Endnotes:

Bituing Walang Ningning was shown in theaters in 1985, so Imee must have sneaked away from her dad's presidential campaign just to see the movie.

The BlackFridayProtest movement should have required protesters to order black coffee only. Afterall, it's lent.

Tingting Cojuangco claimed that what Mikee actually served were tuna sandwiches and not chicken and they were not in abundance as they were China's left overs. Geesh. They serve leftovers to guests?!

The Snaparazzi's* Back!

2006-03-07T17:03:00.000+11:00

Yes friends, the snaparazzi's back. I have a camera again!

A few months back, I posted Techie Gadgets Gone Awry about my defective Canon camera which I brought to Canon for repair on December 19, 2005. As the service acknowledgement receipt said the repair period is fourteen (14) working days, I didn't make any follow up with Canon within the period - makes a lot of sense, right? And even if January 11 is the 14th working day, I didn't make a follow up until the following week.

It was only then when I realized how difficult it was to get through their customer service hotline. Wow, it was like calling a radio station two decades ago. (Okay, okay. Yes, I called radio stations and once, even won four premier screening tickets of The Freshman starring Matthew Broderick and Marlon Brando. On another occasion, I even won a cassette of a Barbie's Cradle album. Okay, enough digression.)

Going back to Canon, it was sooo difficult to get through the line. Still, I was very patient with them the entire January. It was only when February came and I realized I have an upcoming event, a wedding, and I needed a camera. Then came many unfulfilled promises from Canon customer service reps, that they would call me if the replacement part arrives, once the loan unit shipment arrives, etc. Not once did they make good on their promise to call back and so I had to endure wasting valuable time dialling their incessantly unavailable line. It was so tiring and frustrating.

And so the wedding proceeded with me, camera-less. I decided I would have to see the end of this and started getting pushy, dropping my friendly, understanding disposition whenever I'm relating to Canon. And so on March 1, Ash Wednesday, I started making effort to call Canon at 8:45 am. After minutes of frustration, I decided I need to take this matter to the appropriate authorities. I dug up my Consumer Act and implementing rules materials and reviewed the procedure for filing a complaint with the Department of Trade and Industry. After reading the rules, I realizd how cumbersome the process will be so I thought of another way. Why not give Canon another chance?

Thus, I clicked on my browser and looked for their webpage. It turns out that the Canon Marketing Philippines website has an online inquiry corner. And so, I wrote an assertive and strongly worded email, making a litany of all the inconveniences inflicted on my and the inefficiency of their personnel as well as their system in handling customer service matters. I ended my email with the line, "if you do not immediately attend to my concern, I will bring this matter to the appropriate administrative agencies and let others know of your inefficiency."

Within the same day I sent my email, I got a call from them telling me that I can pick up my replacement unit anytime. The following morning, at 8 am, I claimed my new Canon Ixus i zoom - a 5.0 megapixel camera with superior features as my old Ixus II. The procedure to claim was not without glitch as there was an initial confusion as to whether the unit was a mere loan unit or a replacement but the confusion was sorted out. Before leaving, I thanked the customer service representative and apologized for losing my cool at some point. She said she perfectly understands my predicament.

And so, I am writing this blog to bring resolution to my earlier post, Techie Gadgets Gone Awry, not to let others know of Canon's inefficiency but to share my experience about this consumer rights-related incident. These are the things I've learned from this incident:

1. When something goes wrong with your gadget, always consult the manual first to do some troubleshooting. In case the manual doesn't give you a solution, look at the warranty card to find out the authorized service centers or check the phone directory or the web for the contact info of the gadget's manufacturers. Since most gadgets are not locally manufacured, it is not wise to go back to the seller as they may not always acquainted with information on how to have your gadget repaired.

My uncle actually got into trouble because he gave his defective camera to the seller who did not inform him that Canon is actualy doing replacement of the defective CCDs for free. The seller is now asking him to pay service fees and it is possible that warraties may be void if the gadget is "touched" by an unauthorized repairmen.

2. Find out as much information on the problem so you understand what is exactly wrong with your gadget. This way, you will be able to take the necessary precautions so as to prevent thet same thing happening again.

In my case, the problem was really what you call a "factory defect" since there was a defective part which caused the product recall of many camera models sold within a specified period. In fairness to Canon, the defective CCDs were manufactured by Sony and sold not only to Canon but also to other camera manufacturers. My complaint against Canon was really for the inefficient way of handling clients since they could have foreseen the influx of customers wanting their camera fixed. The least they could have done is properly train their customer service representatives and upgrade their phones to accommodate many callers since these are the only things they can have control of. I perfectly understand that they do not have control when the shipment for the replacement parts or units will arrive as for sure, they are also relying on the promises of the REAL culprit - the manufacturer of the defective CCD - on when they can make good on their efforts to remedy the situation. At the end of the day, the whole thing is really a hazard of technology. These gadget manufacturers put so much of their reputation at risk by releasing a product in the market while consumers like me are putting their money at stake by buying these expensive gadgets. Well, the nightmare is over for me, and probably, it is beginning to end in case of Canon with the arrival, I heard, of replacement parts or units. Lesson learned for them, I hope. At the end of the day and despite the strongly worded email, I would still give them a passing mark for handling this incident (at least in my case) - at least they did not turn their backs on the consumers and left them holding the bag. Though not perfect, they attended to the customers by offerring to replace defective cameras. Overall, I'd say they are good at damage control and yes, they have convinced me to trust them again.

_____________
* I just like the word snaparazzi, but no, I don't take pictures of celerities. :)

Music speaks

2006-02-13T17:23:00.000+11:00

I recently purchased a couple of CDs from Tower Records and I was delighted to find out that "Cool" by Gwen Stefani is actually the song I heard on the radio which I really liked even if I didn't quite catch most of the lyrics. Since lyrics are included in the Hitz compilation which I bought, I was even more delighted to know the lyrics goes like this:

It's hard to remember how it felt before
Now I found the love of my life...
Passes things get more comfortable
Everything is going right

And after all the obstacles
It's good to see you now with someone else
And it's such a miracle that you and me are still good friends
After all that we've been through
I know we're cool

We used to think it was impossible
Now you call me by my new last name
Memories seem like so long ago
Time always kills the pain

Remember Harbor Boulevard
The dreaming days where the mess was made
Look how all the kids have grown
We have changed but we're still the same
After all that we've been through
I know we're cool

And I'll be happy for you
If you can be happy for me
Circles and triangles, and now
we're hangin' out with your new girlfriend
So far from where we've been
I know we're cool

Wow! As in what a song! Wish I could sing Cool truthfully. Truth is I never get to be in good terms with anyone I've had a past with, formal or not. Walking away and never turning back has been the rule so far and even on the other party's end, their choice is to act as if nothing ever happened - and logically, nothing is left out of the supposed friendship that we had before. Well, it is kinda sad and sometimes I reminisce with regret, remembering the happy days we had as friends. But then again, I guess romance, or even the mere hint of romance, is a big test of friendship and lucky are those who hurdle that test and remain friends despite of supervening events. Clearly, I never had that luck. I have to live through moments treating someone with whom you used to share so much of your thoughts and feelings as if that person is just a common acquaintance. I couldn't relate to Cool, and I guess it will remain as a mere anthem of how I would have preferred things to be.

And of course, I'd love to sing that part of Cool where it says now I found the love of my life. That remains an elusive dream from me. Nonetheless, with my friends making wedding plans and attending to wedding details left and right, I couldn't help having ideas for my OWN wedding. And here I will indulge.

The first time I heard the song Hanggang May Kailanman, I recognized that it was sung by Carol Banawa. She has the voice of an angel. I am mermerized by the song and unexplainably, I am always moved listening to her sing the song, which lyrics goes...

Kailanpaman sa'yo lamang magmamahal
Kailanpaman nangangakong magtatagal
Mula noon hanggang ngayon ikaw lamang
Ako para sa iyo hanggang may kailanman

It is the perfect wedding song for me. If fate permits it, I would ask my friend Glenda to ask her cousin Claire (Carol Banawa) to sing just this song during the wedding, preferably after the vows. (Yes, this is how detailed I've envisioned it to be. =) Aside from marrying the love of my life, her singing the song will make it my dream wedding.

Hanggang may kailanman
Kahapon at ngayon
Ay may bukas na daratnan
Hanggang may kailanman
Ang bawat sandali
Ay panahong nilalaan
Hanggang ako'y kailangan
Hanggang ikaw ay nariyan
Ako't ikaw hanggang may kailanman

Hanggang may saan man
Ang dito at doon
Ay may landas na tagpuan
Hanggang may kailanman
Ang bawat alaala ay ating pagsaluhan
Hanggang sa kalungkutan
Hindi kita iiwanan
Kasama mo hanggang may kailanman

Kailan pa man
Sayo lamang magmamahal
Kailan pa man
Mangangakong magtatagal
Mula noon hanggang ngayon
Ikaw lamang
Ako para sayo
Hanggang may kailanman

Hanggang sa kalungkutan
Hindi kita iiwanan
Kasama mo hanggang may kailanman

Kailan pa man
Sayo lamang magmamahal
Kailan pa man
Mangangakong magtatagal
Mula noon hanggang ngayon
Ikaw lamang
Ako para sayo
Hanggang may kailanman

What a beautiful song.

Pre-Valentine blues

2006-02-01T16:22:00.000+11:00

It's the first day of February, I didn't even notice January passing by!

Thinking about February will undeniably lead one to think of Valentine's day. Well, lucky for me, I have pretty much to think of - upcoming weddings and preparations related to it (not my own wedding, of course), to name a few.

Well, apparently, some people have already been bitten by the love bug, or otherwise like the idea of riding on the usual spell-hype every February.

You see, I have an anonymous texter. His/her/its number is 09173413687. I have asked the texter several times to identify him/her/itself, to no avail. According to my friend from Globe, I need a court order before they can disclose the owner of that number. Talk about right to privacy.

Well, it's not really annoying, more like amusing really when I received the first text last week. The first one was an advanced valentine's day greeting - nothing out of the ordinary, I should say. The second one was simply this:

Â¤-

A generic currency sign and a dash which in SMS, appear like a flower.

Now I received the third one this Monday and it goes:

"if loving you is wrong, then I don't wanna be right.
my love for you is strong & brighter than any light.
the way we must go is long, but we'll win every fight."

At first I though, "duh?! who's this person?!" Thinking about it now, it's hilarious. Whoever sent it was undeniably unoriginal and urgh, most likely, he/she/it plagiarized it from somewhere. It is surely nothing but a practical joke.

And then I started speculating who the sender was and ending up weaving theories, comparing previously known conduct of suspects. Certainly, that message didn't come from any of my friends as their creativity and wit would produce an output far beyond the inane text message. I actually have someone in mind but it bothers me just thinking about the possibility.

It was at that point when I realized that, whew! The joke was really on me. The fact that I've given it not only some but much thought shows he/she/it has gotten into me. Not that I believe the content of what was sent but more on the fact that whoever that person was, he/she/it got noticed.

At any rate, since he/she/it has already been given enough mileage here, I might as well say my piece on love, refuting his/her/its three-liner. To me, love must be nothing less than all these:

Love is patient and kind; it is not jealous nor conceited, nor proud.
Love is not ill-mannered, nor selfish, nor irritable.
Love does not keep a record of wrongs.
Love is not happy with evil but it is happy with the truth.
Love never gives up; its faith, hope and patience never fails.

Love is eternal.

(To be continued.)

POSTSCRIPT:

On February 18, 2006, I received a text message from the same number, asking who I am and expressing wonder why I have been sending text messages. Giving the benefit of the doubt, I explained that someone has been sending text messages to me using that number, implying that someone other than him/her could have been using that number. I gave my name. Why? Because in the remote possibility that thet person sending me the text massages is someone I have in mind and he's been using a significant other's cell phone, then, that is my sweet revenge for the vexation of having an anonymous texter. Bleh.

The Eraser

2006-01-26T16:25:00.000+11:00

Some days are better than others; some days are bad while some are worst. The good news is today is just not too good, neither better than good, not bad than usual or outright disastrous. Let's just say that I probably have a less than efficient production of serotonin last night, the results of which made me vulnerable to not so pleasant occurences.

Such as realizing that my favorite rubber eraser had gone missing.

You see, much of my work entails using a pencil. Incidentally, nothing but a Mongol No. 1 would do for me so that a reliable, efficient eraser is an indispensable tool. I've had this eraser since the start of my career, that is four years ago. I remember having an eraser exactly the same as the recent one which I lost, the previous one I've had since fourth year high school until college. When I lost it, I decided to buy another one exactly the same brand and size. I told myself that the only way of overcoming the grief brought about by my lost eraser is to forget that I ever lost it and I can do that by having a new one. That is the same thing which I did when I lost my World Wildlife Fund "Think Globally, Act Locally" notebook - I replaced it with an extra notebook which I bought the same time I got the one I lost. True enough, I quickly forgotten about the lost notebook and was able to better cope with its lost (along with its valuable contents). Same thing happened with my address book in my previous work which I dropped somewhere. I bought one exactly the same as the lost one and wrote on every number I can still recover from my calling card collection and cell phone entries. The list goes on an on. Geesh, good thing I haven't lost a cellphone.

And so, I'll probably do the same with my lost eraser - I'll buy another one exactly the same. I will regret I was not able to use it up to the last rub, no doubt, but I will get to accept I lost it soon with my new eraser.

Now, apart from losing my eraser, another thing made this day not so good. This time, I know I cannot resort to my "substitution method" to help me cope with the loss.

As I was sitting in my vehicle on my way to work, it suddenly began imagining a scenario which would have been a more acceptable way for my then boyfriend to "break it to me gently" that he was leaving me. The visualization and rationalization even went into a scrutiny of what actually happened and what are the justifications for his actions. For instance, I concluded that he would have earned my respect and preserved my trust if he had confessed during the "breaking-off" that he had been flirting with other girls at the same time he was flirting with me; and that he realized that he has fallen madly in love with one of them; that he just wants to come clean and let me know; and that he would accept my reaction and what I will do given the situation. Of course, what actually happened was he broke it off on the phone and gave me flimsy reasons, plus the line he doesn't want to lose me as a friend, in effect giving hope that we can still be together someday. Thinking about it, maybe he thought it was not a good idea to go meet with me, in a restaurant or in church perhaps, and tell me, "hey, I wasn't really serious with you and now I've found someone I want to be with, good riddance!" He probably had good reason to fear bodily harm, or a scandal at that. But really, some balls huh!

Well, if he had done what I had imagined this morning, I would have told him that I have nothing to say except that I will accept it as fact of life and that while I had wanted to love him all my life, I would have wanted him to want to be loved by me, which is not the case.

Now, we broke up a few months short of being two years ago. It should have been forgotten way, way back. I guess it is because, instead of the "substitution method" I resorted to the "distraction method" knowing that simple substitution won't work when there is no one to take his place - yet.

I am hopeful that I am bound to find someone wonderful. Why? It's because I know that only someone wonderful can be able to erase and replace those memories which are best forgotten.

And for me, settling for anything less is out of the question.

A few hours after writing this blog, I found my beloved eraser. Yahoo!!!

Table 25

2005-12-29T14:48:00.000+11:00

I had the privilege of being invited to Chief Justice Hilario G. Davide, Jr.'s retirement ball, held on the night of December 19, 2005 at the Manila Hotel; my service as one of his Court Attorneys for a year having merited me an invitation. By some stroke of fate, I found myself seated with people I used to read in the papers or whose names I've memorized in preparation for my Grade 2 social studies class. Although I initially thought it wasn't really a good idea to arrange the seating assignment of the Chief Justice's guests alphabetically, admittedly, I immensely enjoyed the company of my tablemates largely due to the privilege of participation to the conversation of this country's movers and shakers.

I arrived on time, a few minutes before 6:oo p.m., not daring to be late at the Chief Justice's Ball knowing his penchant for punctuality. Yet, I found myself among the first to arrive. Apparently, the Chief's retirement ceremonies at the Supreme Court Session Hall started late. Incidentally, it was attended by two past presidents, Corazon C. Aquino, Fidel V. Ramos (the other surviving past president is in a Tanay resthouse cum detention area, of course) and the incumbent, Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo, respectively. My fellow early birds, an elderly couple - the man dignified, and his wife, elegantly poised but relaxed - were ushered in by one of the Chief's staff to our table which is number 25. He introduced himself to me as Ambassador Tan, and conversely I introduced myself to him and his wife. It was only after minutes of interesting conversation when I realized I was talking to former BIR Commissioner Bienvenido Tan during the Aquino Administration. A graduate of the UP College of Law, batch 1948, he was obviously interested to hear what a batch 2001 graduate of the College of Law has to say. Others who joined the table were Washington SyCip, and several other people who, Ambassador Tan introduced as the Chairperson of the Children's Hour and some others who were members of the board of trustees of the Ramon Magsaysay Awards. Last to join the table was former Secretary Juan Santos, one of the so-called "Hyatt 10" (ten cabinet members of President Arroyo who resigned mid-July and called for her resignation during a press conference at the Hyatt Casino, thus the name).

The Chief Justice's retirement ball commenced with a Rigodon de Honor, participated in by present and former justices of the Court. It actually was more like a fashion show rather than a dance, as the music did not match their steps. Before the dance started, however, the host announced the arrival of President Arroyo followed by an applause. From where we were seated, we could see heads swarming towards the President, prompting Mr. SyCip to remark that it is these kinds of warm reception to her (GMA) that deludes her into thinking that she has the support of the "people," to which Ambassador Tan retorted that he believes that she is aware of her unpopularity. He further declared that he himself wants her to go but he is not quite sure who should take her place. The President and the Chief Justice later on joined in the dance, a mere ten seconds, and then the departure of the President was announced. It was only after the President has left when Johnny Santos arrived to join our table.

Personally, my view, which I shared to them, is that in social gatherings, people do applaud and receive the President out of civility and politeness. I will daresay that even when angered, such occasion would call for a certain degree of civility so as not to cause any embarassment to the guest of honor, the host and the other guests. Nonetheless, I do recognize that Mr. SyCip do have a point - such public appearances are great opportunities to convey the people's sentiments, not by heckling or booing but by simply turning a cold shoulder on her. Still, I wouldn't blame those who were present to behave the way they did. Afterall, many of the justices present have been appointed by the President herself. In fact, the successor of Chief Justice Davide was merely hours away from being announced as the new Chief Justice - Artemio V. Panganiban.

Chief Justice Panganiban's appointment was accompanied by murmurs and whispering, imputing that such appointment was an accommodation extended by the President to return some favors. In Professor Teddy Te's blog Vincula, he wrote that he took Gloria Arroyo's reasons for appointing Justice Panganiban as a personal insult and that he was deeply offended by such appointment. His words spurred me into a self-examination as to my sentiments about the President and the then boiling, now simmering political crisis that struck our nation this year.

Truth is, I have been trying to avoid writing or saying much about the currect political situation in the Philippines. A certain degree of introspection would reveal that such avoidance is due to exasperation and frustration --- helplessness, that is the term, that something can be done, or should be done with the current situation we are in. It is not apathy. It is fatalism.

As a law school senior in 2001, I, along with most of the UP College of Law's population joined in the four-day EDSA Dos which culminated in Erap's ouster and GMA's ascent to power. We skipped our classes (well, most of our professors did too), trooped to EDSA on board the relatively new MRT, formed a human chain along vibrating Guadalupe suspension bridge and stubbed my toes to death amid the sea of relatively young people at the foot of the EDSA-Ortigas interchange. It was a great feeling being able to vent out my personal anger at the insult that someone as morally perverse as Erap Estrada, who doesn't even have the wit to feign his own handwriting to escape identification, is still sitting in office. At that time, it felt like my peace of mind and sense of pride will forever be lost if he was not ousted immediately.

This is a confession --- a confession of shame and regret over each and every time I turned a blind eye on anything that will run counter to my expression of rage and its eventual retribution - the lack of constitutional basis for the ascension of Vice President Gloria Arroyo into office, as well as her creeping grip and thrist for power as manifested when she reneged on her declaration on December 30, 2002 that she will not run in the 2004 presidential elections. I am gripped with shame whenever I recall how I along with countless others allowed the cunning Gloria Arroyo , nay, delivered to her on a silver platter the power to turn her back on the very principles that led to Erap's ouster. She became in her own way debase of the morals that we so detest of Erap.

Yes, I confess and feel remorse at each and every moment I thought that it is better for GMA to cheat rather than have FPJ as president. I feared that the gains of Edsa Dos will be negated and FPJ's victory will be Erap's victory as well. It is my folly and the follies of each and every person who thought the same way I did that catapulted Gloria Arroyo to the fortress that she has now, seemingly determined to hold on to intoxicating power in anyway she could.

It is ironic that, probably thinking ourselves as wise, we ousted the foolish Erap Estrada and resisted the presidency of another unlearned Fernando Poe, Jr. It is ironic because we didn't realize that the joke was on us, and she made a fool out of all of us indeed, until it was too late - yes, my friends, it's too late. It's too late because, GMA has weathered the strongest political storm yet in her career, now knowing that words or thoughts would not even nudge this country to move forward. Instead, I have come to the conclusion that the malady that afflicts this country is rooted in words - empty, pompous words that further buries each of us to this pit we are all in.

And so what are we going to do now? Oust Gloria Arroyo again the same way Erap was ousted? I say no. No because I will not allow another opportunity for someone to grab at power the same way she did, with greed and megalomania at that. I say let us just stick to the rules and insist on it - even when she's not. Let us allow her to finish her term and elect whomsoever we feel is fit for the presidency in 2010. On the other hand, let us be steadfast in standing by what is right, what is just. Let us oppose her attempts to stay in power by changing the form of government by voting in a plebescite against any such proposed amendment. In the meantime, I will not join any move to oust her when motives of these movers are dubious. No more instant solutions. We must learn from our mistakes, the mistake of trying to cure a mistake with another one.

In the meantime, rather than harping on GMA's follies, let us each do our part in trying to get out of the whole we are in - and there is no other way of doing it by doing what is just, what is right in everything we do, no matter how small it seems. Only when we do that, only when we stop resenting how we are the only ones who are striving to do what is right, when we will start feeling the ripples of change.

Techie gadgets gone awry

2005-12-20T14:46:00.000+11:00

If you own a digital still or video camera, read this!

Have you ever sat inside a service center's waiting area and found yourself looking at almost half of the people in the same room clutching a defective gadget that has uncanny similarities with the one in your hand?

I have.

I am an owner of a Canon Ixus II, 3.2 megapixel digital camera, one of my prized possessions and well-loved techie toy. It has accompanied me to my journeys here and abroad the past few years since I purchased it from Tony Leung (not the actor) in Hongkong in August 22, 2003. Not a single precious moment in any of my gatherings with friends, weddings, baptisms and any other significant event escaped my ever reliable Canon. And so, when I decided to finally bring to life the beautiful fondant cake I've lengthily imagined myself making, I just knew my good old camera will surely capture the moment my masterpiece will come into existence, ready to be shown to friends and family.

And so on October 9, 2005, a Sunday, I carefully loaded my newly charged lithium ion battery pack into my camera to take a snap at my two-days-in-the-making apple walnut fondant cake, adorned with my hand-crafted fondant flowers, pretty as it sat on top of our living room center table. However, much to my shock and horror, my camera's view screen showed a mangled, blurred cake in a dark background even if the living room was bathed in sunlight. I took a few shots and I'm sharing these hideous pictures with you here.

I would have ran straight to Canon that very same day to have my camera fixed but I soon found out that Canon cameras are serviced only at the head office of Canon Marketing Philippines, Inc. at Marvin Plaza at the corner of Pasong Tamo and dela Rosa Streets in Makati City, whose office hours are from 8:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m., Mondays to Fridays only. Add to that, I was informed over the phone that they charge a minimum service fee of P1,200. I had no other choice, I had to schedule my trip to Canon along with other errands since my office is in Ortigas, So, one leave of absence and more than two months after the discovery of the defect, I was finally able to go to Canon.

It came as a bit of a shock to see all those people holding "clones" of my camera. While at least 12 people were ahead of me in the queue, it didn't take long for me to be called. Apparently, most of the camera owners were complaining about the same problem and Canon already had a ready solution. The customer service representative (CSR) declared that my precious Ixus II's CCD is busted. CCD or charge-coupled device is that part of the camera which is instrumental in capturing images. Inquiring further, I found out that models similar to mine are the subject of a product recall wherein Canon undertakes to replace all defective parts of the camera free of chage for service and parts. I wonder why I never came across any ad informing Canon owners of this product recall. Nonetheless, I found out further, though the CSR was quite reluctant to answer, that Canon camera models Ixus, Powershot and the digicams (practically their entire line of digital cameras) manufactured between 2002 and 2004 have defective CCDs and are covered by the "product recall" campaign.

And so I left the service center with the assurance that, upon arrival of the replacement for the defective part, I will get back my camera. But since I do not want to spoil my Christmas, I have resigned myself to the idea that it will take quite a while before I get it back. I will be camera-less for Christmas, camera-less for my friend's wedding on the 27th, camera-less during get-together with friends and camera-less for the New Year.

But before anyone of you condemn Canon and expect their product engineers' heads to roll or swear you'll never lay your hands on any Canon camera ever again, I came across numerous internet articles which actually say that defective CCDs are pervasive and the problem is not limited to Canon. Apparently, most digital cameras in the market, manufactured between 2002 and 2004 have defective CCDs. (For a comprehensive list of these digital cameras, please click here.) Most camera manufacturers have offered its customers free repair and parts replacement even if the camera is no longer within warranty. As for Canon, the CSR advised me to ask my friends who are also owners of Canon digicams to pay them a visit only if they have discovered malfunctions in the camera. Personally, I'd advise my friends to go visit Canon at a time convenient and when they still have no immediate need to take snapshots of precious moments. Besides, it seems that there is a worldwide demand for replacement CCDs so better be in queue as early as possible can.

So what exactly is wrong with these CCDs? To have an idea what is exactly wrong with these techie thingies, it is important to understand what really is a CCD. Surfing the net, I quickly found several articles describing what CCDs are. Succinctly and in very plain terms, CCDs or image sensors are what a film is to your good old "analog" camera. CCDs have been in use not only for digital cameras but also for telescopes, scanners, bar code readers, digital still and video cameras, even some PDAs, and other similar gadgets which require in its operation the capture and storage of data. Unlike film cameras, CCDs are more sensitive to light such that it can capture images under low light conditions or without flash. However, it is interesting to know that in terms of megapixels, film cameras are comparably bigger in megapixels than digital cameras.

As usual, Wikipedia has an article on CCDs. However, it does not mention anything about the supposedly pervasive CCD problem in digicams as discussed in more specialized websites.

You may also view an article in computerworld.com on charge-coupled device (CCD) by clicking here.

For more on how a digital camera works, click here. But if you want a nerdy explanation, here is where you should look.

I found this website explaining in detail what causes the problems in these defective cameras and I was amazed to see samples of images taken using these cameras which are very much like the images I took with mine. Not only that, I also read that reports of problems with CCDs stated to surface at around late September with a significant increase in incident reports at the early part of October 2005 - almost exactly the same time I discovered the defects in my camera! Apparently, according to the article, the manufacturer of the defective image sensors is Sony (please see service advis ory). Naturally, it has the greatest number of affected products. Incidentally, Sony's free repair offer will only be applicable until October 7, 2007. Several theories have been submitted to solve the mystery of the defective image sensors ranging from use of inferior epoxy chip packages rather than ceramic chic packages on the CCDs to weak or faulty wiring. Be sure to check the "What caused the problem?" portion at the bottom of the page if you want to read more on the theories. I tried reading it but my aptitude for the applied sciences hinders me from narrating what these theories are.

A couple of hundred days without my digital camera, I am no longer in a state of disappointment and disbelief. Waking up one day and finding out that my digital camera is already a dud has been a nightmare considering that since I purchased it at the outset of the digicam boom, it was still quite pricey. On the other hand, discovering imperfections of technology is actually like waking up from a dream of having everything easy, convenient and without compromise. I was one of those over-eager techies who couldn't wait to get my hands on the "gadget of the future" and an imperfect technology is the price that people like me has to pay. Oh well, as with anything, we can always aspire for better things. I would have blamed all concerned camera or CCD manufacturers for putting in the market these gadgets whose defects they must have been absolutely sure to manifest at a certain time. A classic case of hidden defects in products. I just hope that these manufacturers are not aware of these defects prior to putting them in the market. If they are, the gamble evidently paid off for them, as there are now more digital camera owners than film camera owners, the numbers growing at an exponential rate. The defects on cameras have not affected their sales at all as a lot of owners, possibly due to lack of time like myself, have been content with having the cameras repaired and its defective parts replaced, free of charge even beyond warranty. For this, I commend them for taking this action. However, everything had been put to a hush, so that thousands or probably even millions of digital camera owners worldwide are unaware of the ticking bombs right in the palm of their hands. As long a they do not know, we can be sure that more memories will be uncaptured and forever visually lost. And this, ladies and gentlemen, is a perfect example of something that is incapable of pecuniary estimation.

As for me, despite assurances that the CCD problem is no longer present in recent models, I am still very much apprehensive of acquiring any new devices with cameras. Well, I guess I just have to wait for my resuscitated Canon Ixus II and hope that it never fails me again.

If you own a defective Canon camera, you may call Canon Marketing (Philippines), Inc. at 884-9000 local 9121 or 9128 between 8 am to 5pm, Mondays to Fridays.

Office Christmas Party 2005-The Aftermath

2005-12-20T14:37:00.000+11:00

As expected, out of the six groups who presented for our Christmas party, our group was the least prepared. Irnoically, since only four of the seven members were able to participate, individually, we received the biggest prize for not so much hardwork and guts at that.

But in terms of fun factor and camarderie, our group should get a failing mark. Having seen the presentations of the other groups, I must admit that I felt a tinge of regret that I wasn't part of an overzealous group.

And so, me, Miss Scrooge, settled with having several servings of Lechon Cebu as my source of fun.

Christmas party blues

2005-12-16T13:40:00.000+11:00

Call me a party pooper but I just hate Christmas party presentations.

Especially if I'd have to do something stupid.

And more so if the prize is worth a candy cane.

For me, an ideal Cristmas party is one which has good food, nice and plenty raffle prizes and exchange gift. Predictably, none of those I mentioned will be occuring later tonight. Isn't it ironic that I would feel obligated and not excited to go to this party - my first of probably many Christmas parties in this office?

It was only yesterday that I found out that my group mates have hastily prepared a skit for today's party. Oh how I abhor skits! I'm a horrible actor - and I'm not funny at all. Better ask me to host the party, dance or better yet, sing but never to perform in a skit. The lingering feeling of shame will hover over me for a full hour after making that horrible performance. I was in such a bad mood I left all my Christmas gifts for my officemates and decided to give them next week instead, very much against the "spirit of Christmas" mood which is permitted to pervade the office today. And while I managed to pack my Christmas tree with blinking lights and an extra Santa hat, plus the duster which is to be my costume for the horrible skit, I left my cellphone for the nth time at home. *Sob*

Well, at least I'm sure the blinking lights on my Christmas tree hat will bring some cheer to my officemates, and I, hopefully will catch some of their glee.

Well, eventually, to my relief, my groupmates, less one who is extremely busy to participate, and another who overtly threw a tantrum, decided to forego the skit and settled with a dance number. For more than an hour, we learned the steps. Admittedly, I feel a bit better and I do not dread the performance that much. In a way, I am thankful that, save for this blog entry and a few whining sessions with a friend, I did not let my disgust over being pulled out of my comfort zone get out of hand. Now, my attitude is more of getting over with it without making much a fool of myself. This night will pass, the party food digested and the memory of our group's horrible performance will soon fade. What is important is my emotional intelligence prevailed --- there was no spoiling of other people's fun. And that is what is most important.

Who knows, it could be your fun which will be saved next.

Epilogue to Four Funerals and a Wedding

2005-11-30T05:07:00.000+11:00

I originally planned "Four Funerals and a Wedding" to be a, quite obviously, a five-part series of blogs to celebrate my long and ardous journey towards "healing my family", as my friend put it. Life is not a movie though, and happy endings, or even just catharsis don't simply happen when people involved resist it.

When my father sent word inviting me to my half-brother's wedding, I couldn't hide I was pleased. I was never properly introduced to my half-siblings and we, on very few occasions we meet - yes, on funerals, we practically casually snub each other as if it is the most natural and socially acceptable thing to do. I found all these casual snubbing discomforting.

And so I was hopeful my invitation to the wedding was a sign of things to come, only that, I didn't anticipate my family - I mean, my mother's side of the family - to make a quiet resistance to the idea. More so, I didn't quite anticipate I was not brave enough to defy them and do what I think is right. And so I did not attend the wedding.

And neither did I spoke with my father since.

It was nothing like acrimonious silence - it was just getting back to comfortable normal for all of us. I still love my father and he, I know, has his own way of showing I matter to him. He still matters to my sister enough to hate him. He still matters to my mother enough to keep everyone from "rocking the boat".

Recently, another uncle, my father's last remaining full-blood sibling died downtrodden. There was no elaborate funeral as my angkong, ama, uncle and ate had. There was no lavish lauriat to feat on as my brother's wedding. He was cremated a full nine days before my mom and myself found out from other neighbors. None of them, and I mean my Tita Rosa, Kuya Henry or even my Papa bothered to let us know. I realized how different I was from them. Uncle Te-ah, while always unkempt and ungroomes received the respect he never got and never even bothered to demand from any of them. By simply acknowledging him as my uncle, by kissing his hand whenever I see him (pagmamano), I have given him much more than the healing that I have ever planned for and sought. Showing love and respect is so simple and just happens. Maybe the healing I've been wishing for will never come, maybe it will. All I know is keeping my heart devoid of hate is the only way.

Four Funerals and a Wedding: The Fourth Funeral (Part IV)

2005-10-16T20:04:00.000+10:00

I love my father, I really do, but since he wasn't that much present in my life, I know I wouldn't feel much loss if he passes away. Still, I'm anxious about what the scenario will be if he dies considering his hostile other family. Would we be allowed to attend the wake? I take comfort at the thought that Ate Katyn would be there to assert me and my sister's birthright as papa's children.

My anxiety was renewed when unexpectedly and too soon, my Ate Katyn died.

She was still young, only in her forties, when she passed away. She didn't prevail against cancer but she fought bravely, never at once showing her family that she has become, and becoming more weak.

My mom and I with my Tita Pat went to Ate Katyn's wake as soon as her remains was brought to the chapel of Funeraria Paz in their Araneta Avenue branch, same as Uncle Tiong kim. There were only a few people inside the chapel when we arrived but papa was there and Tita Rosa was seated in the middle of a long bench with papa's Chinese wife seated beside her, to her right. As my mom and Tita Rosa were partners in crime, having become good friends and sisters-in-law, my mom went to kiss Tita Rosa and sat beside her on the other end of the bench. My dad, immediately becoming aware of the scene, couldn't take the heat and went out. Nothing exciting happened as my papa's wife shortly left her place.

A few days after, a ray of hope glimmered for me when Son-son, passing in front of me during the funeral mass for Ate Katyn, looked my way and nodded in acknowledgement. It was several years before when during Ama's funeral, Sabu returned a faint but sincere smile in response to my reluctant smile. Son-son's gesture made me realize that we are grown ups and no matter what, even if we don't become close, we ought to acknowledge that we are related, we are siblings and we should leave the past behind and at least be civil to each other. After all, we didn't have anything to do about our parent's respective pains. Though it crossed my mind I could be imagining things, I held on to that hope that my relationship with my only brother would be a bit better. In a few months time, I would be proven that it actually did.

Four Funerals and a Wedding: The Third Funeral (Part III)

2005-10-16T19:59:00.000+10:00

My mother had reason to be angry with my father. In all sense of the word, my father had betrayed my mother. He fled China and abandoned his betrothed and their daughter Lima to find a better life for himself in Manila. He slipped to British territory Hong Kong and proceeded to fly to Manila. She was smitten as he persistently and fervently wooed her. He married her in church and integrated her into his family. All seemed fine except that No amount of persistence and assurances from Uncle Tiong kim that he prefers her as his sister-in-law can assuage my mom. It had been going on for sometime, he had been going home to two families. Before I was born, he and his Chinese wife already had a daughter, Argentina or Gina (she, thankfully, didn't use the surname Tan) after she arrived from China at the height of the Miss Universe brouhaha. My mom later on revealed that my dad wanted to name me Argentina, after the Argentinean ambassador to the Philippines who was with him on the same flight to Manila from Hong Kong. Thankfully, my mother refused and I was named "Mary Rose", being born in October, the month of the Holy Rosary of the Blessed Virgin Mary. Shortly, after I was born, my father's first and only male child, Henson or Son-son, was born. It was shortly after my sister was born when my father finally left the house and lived with the other family. He had two more children afterwards, Sabu and Angelina or Baby.

Not for anything else, my dad's Chinese wife had a few loose screws. First, though quite understandably she hated us as she probably blames us why her husband never returned for them, she would, according to my Tita Rosa and cousins, throw a fit whenever she hears the name 'Linda". Naturally, she taught all her children to hate us too. My sister hates them but I don't and I couldn't explain why. Second, she maltreats her youngest child, Baby and treats her differently from the others. By some stroke of luck, my former teacher in grade school who now teaches at this public school near our place became Baby's teacher. One day, she called on her mother to report to her an incident in school. Baby's mother, in disowning her child's misdeed told the teacher that Baby wasn't really her child and was in fact the child of someone who lives in a place which, by her description, exactly fits our house. The teacher, realizing that what was being referred to was my mother, told her that she is friends with the occupants of the described house. Upon hearing that, my dad's Chinese wife simply turned her back and left.

As I was growing up, and she getting older, I sensed that my encounters would her were not as threatening to me as before. Probably because I knew I could already take on her (as in sabunutan) if she dare say anything bad about me, my sister or my mom. No such confrontation has ever happened. Truth is, somehow, through the passing of time, their acrimony towards us had ebbed, the same way that ours did too. When Uncle Tiong kim died, it was another occasion to meet (but not greet) each other. Again, my dad and uncle still had an existing feud when my uncle died and it was only then did papa reconciled with Kuya Henry, first born and new patriarch of the family. Incidentally, unlike my father's poor taste in picking names, my uncle had sense to name all his children after royalty or Greek gods: Elizabeth or Beth, Athena or Annie, Enrico or Henry, Katherine or Katyn and Richard. Ate Beth, Ate Annie and Kuya Richard are now all living in Florida.

Uncle Tiong kim would have been proud had he known I became a lawyer. In fact, I was already a lawyer before he died but I was never allowed to visit him when he was already sick. I simply dismissed it as something Chinese-the refusal to let others see you so sick and weak when you used to be respected and looked up to. When we were young, we gifted Papa a portrait of him when he was still young and with mama. He didn't seem so pleased when he received it and he explained to me that in Chinese, only those who are very old or successful are entitled to have portraits. Looking back, I realized my father didn't have much sense of humor and took himself too seriously. If he only knew how my being portraitphiliac, he would have realized how very un-Chinese I am.

Four Funerals and a Wedding: The Second Funeral (Part II)

2005-10-13T02:37:00.000+10:00

As I wasnâ€™t enrolled in a Chinese school, and didnâ€™t have anyone to speak Chinese with, I was no Chinese, save for my surname. Though I completed Chinese 10 and 11 in college as language elective, my first initiation at being Chinese was at my Amaâ€™s funeral, the second funeral.

Ama, who stayed with her eldest son, Uncle Tiong Kim, never got to learn to speak Tagalog or English. Anybody who saw Kris Aquinoâ€™s movie â€œFeng Shuiâ€� and saw how â€œLotus Feetâ€� walked would have an idea how I visualize my Ama, coming out of her room to greet me during me and my sisterâ€™s Christmas visits to her. She would give me some money, but most often fruits and would touch my face and hold my hands before telling me about my character. She never fails to say to me â€œya-suiâ€� which supposedly means â€œbeautifulâ€�, always accompanied by her loving face. Tita Rosa would interpret what my Ama would say in Fookien but not all, as she conveniently left out the details about Amaâ€™s bashing of my dadâ€™s Chinese wife in my presence. Nonetheless, it always seemed to me that she was comparing us with the â€œotherâ€� daughter-in-law and â€œotherâ€� grandchildren.

Ama died having a grudge against the â€œotherâ€� family. To think that my dadâ€™s Chinese wife was a niece of my Ama. Her death came shortly after a neighborhood spectacle of a melee when my hostile elder half-sister Lima accused Kuya Henry and his sister Ate Katyn of â€œstealingâ€� her customers. Boy, was that a shouting match. During Amaâ€™s funeral, feuding or not, my papa and Uncle Tiong kim performed their duties to their mother by accomplishing all that has to be done, and performing all ceremonies that had to be performed. Upon Ate Katynâ€™s prodding and heeding her argument that I am an â€œapoâ€� therefore I should be where all the â€œaposâ€� are, I joined my cousins and half-sisters and half-brother in bowing to my Amaâ€™s coffin and to the other ancestors, to the posing for the camera beside the coffin, wearing a red sash as a sign that I was immediate family and walking a few meters from Funeraria Paz in Misericordia to a nearby corner before boarding the vehicle to Loyola Memorial Park in Marikina where Ama is to be buried beside my Angkong. It felt good and it felt right. After all, I never had any doubt in my heart that Ama loved me and even when she was sick and blind, I was able to visit her a few days before she died and she touched my face, smiled and recognized me, and held my hand for a long, long time.

Angkongâ€™s wife allowed Ama to be buried beside Angkong in the space which was meant for her. As few years after Amaâ€™s death, Liwayway was buried alongside Angkong and Ama.

It was only upon her death when I found out that my grandmotherâ€™s name was Diu Ti li.

Four Funerals and a Wedding: The First Funeral (Part I)

2005-10-13T02:04:00.000+10:00

I was a happy child, and even if Iâ€™ve seen gray clouds, I had a happy, well-provided for childhood. I was well adjusted and could deal with much of what came my way when I was young, so much so that probably, to my classmates then, it never really seemed that I was lacking something. Truth is, my parents separated when I was probably a little over one year old and certainly barely able to remember how it was to have a father in the house. Of course, precocious classmates noticed that my father never showed up in school, which was obvious since the schoolâ€™s population was quite small and each grade level had only two sections with a little less than 30 students each.

So, when precocious classmates started asking where my father was, I threw the ball at my mom, who wittingly came up with an answer. She told me to tell them this:

â€œNasa Hong Kong,
kasama si King Kong,
nagtatanim ng kangkong.â€�

And so, equally precocious little May, in pigtails and all started blaring to the world the â€œwould pass as a limerickâ€� answer.

As I vaguely remember much, I was told that I used to ask where my father was. My mom would tell me heâ€™s in heaven and I would go on to ask for his phone number. When I was seven, I met my father not in heaven but several meters above ground, on the top deck of my uncleâ€™s building.

Iâ€™ve always known my father is Chinese, which makes me a tsinoy. Even if he wasnâ€™t around I knew my paternal grandparents (see Shoe Blues blog below), my fatherâ€™s brother, his wife and my first cousins, and I must say I was well-loved by them. My Angkongâ€™s love for me must have been so powerful that it was conveyed to me, without words, when he slipped on my feet the first piece of those little red shoes. I remember myself admiring those shoes as they stand slanted inside my shoe cabinet.

I vaguely remember his funeral.

Perhaps it was inevitable that I would eventually long for a father. I could understand but couldnâ€™t accept why me and my sister could visit him in his upholstery store and show him our medals from school but he couldnâ€™t do anything much. He wasnâ€™t in the house, he didnâ€™t call, and didnâ€™t speak to our mother. And then, there was a woman, about ten years older than me and my sister who loathed us, spat at us, when we passed by in front of her furniture store. She said, â€œpwe, ang papangit!â€�, a remark which froze me as that was the first time, in all ten years of my life, that someone showed such anger and spite towards me. My sister, feistier than me, retorted, â€œmas pangit ka!â€� and I couldnâ€™t agree more. That incident drove my mom to call my dad on the phone, angrier than Iâ€™ve seen her angriest and bewailing how we were treated. My Tita Rosa, my Uncle Tiong Kimâ€™s wife and their daughter, Ate Katyn rushed to my momâ€™s side, and expressed anger over what happened. It was that incident and several others which eventually led me to find out where my dad was all along when I thought he was *really* in Hong Kong.

Angkong and Ama were originally from Fookien (Amoy), China. It was where my papa, Chua Tiong Kong and his elder brother Chua Tiong Kim and youngest brother Chua Tiong Te-a were born. While they were still young and after the fall of the Nationalists led by Chiang-Kai Chek, Angkong went to Manila and established a business in Marikina. He adopted the surname â€œMaganteâ€�, married a Filipina, whose name I forget, and became one of Marikinaâ€™s prosperous owners of shoe factories. Meanwhile, Ama and her children were still poor and also dreamed of setting foot in the Philippines. Ama, as evidenced with her very tiny feet, bound by cloth since infancy, was from a wealthy family but everything was taken away by the communists. Soon enough, in the 1950s, Tiong Kim set sail to Manila, learned to speak very fluent English (though still with the Mr. Shoo-li accent) and fraternized with affluent people. Shortly, Tiong Kong or Kong-a, Tiong Te-a or Te-a, along with their mama were also in Manila. It was never unknown to them that Angkong was already the patriarch of the Magante family, and apparently, all of them embraced their predicament, if only to stay longer and hopefully find a better life waiting for them in Fei-lu-bin guo. While the Magantes stayed in Marikina, the Chuas struggled in Binondo, Juan Luna and in Sampalucan, Caloocan, then a bustling furniture making district, who has among its pioneers, a self-made businessman and former farmer from Pandi, Bulacan, Leoncio Sandel.

Leoncio, at that time was one of the most, if not the most successful businessmen in Sampalucan. His factory was biggest and had the most number of people in his employ. He was married to the very industrious and frugal Basilia who complements the jovial and amiable character of Lucio. They had three daughter, Patricia, Lourdes and Erlinda, my mother, who was the only one who married among the three. Lucio and Basilia had one fault â€“ they failed to foresee, or most likely, refused to acknowledge their mortality. They didnâ€™t want their daughters to marry. They kept their daughters atop a then considered â€œhigh riseâ€� three storey building, secluded and protected from any unworthy suitor. But no fortification can deter Kong-a, who upon laying his eyes on my mother, persistently pursued her, ligaw intsik, climbling over fences and roofs just to see her.

And so they were married. My father even had to be christened at our parish before the wedding cause he was Buddhist. I do not know why or how he became Teodoro Tan but that was his name that appears on my birth certificate. Tsinoys would know why and how he was â€œtransformed from Chua or Choi to Tan or Chen.

My motherâ€™s fairy tale ended just as Ms. Spain, Amparo MuÃ±ozâ€™ fairy tale as Miss Universe 1974 started. Taking advantage of the influx of tourists due to the Philippinesâ€™ hosting of the Miss Universe pageant, mother and daughter tandem, abandoned by my father at her daughterâ€™s birth to escape his fixed marriage to his cousin, slipped into Manila and rained on Rapunzel a.k.a. my momâ€™s parade.

To make the long story short, my mom wouldnâ€™t hear of any Magante-like arrangements and refused to take part in what she perceived to be a harem.

And so I found out that, all along â€œHong Kongâ€�, where my father supposedly was, was even less than a kilometer away.

Wernicke's area

Hello, Old Friend!

Fly

Buhay buhay dito sa Australia

Push on U.P.

You can always come back to...

Seeing the BIG Triangle

Plantar Fasciitis

Prince Caspian

Checklist

Thoughts after attending a wedding

Yoga in the Wild!

The 51st Yogi

Yummy

Still Raving About Bikram Yoga

Sala Restaurant in Locsin Building, Makati Ave.

Hooked on Bikram Yoga

P. S. I Love You

Bending and stretching for Bikram Yoga

Big Girls Don't Cry

The fruit and the seed

Wrng Speling

Lea Salonga in Rogers and Hammerstein's Cinderella

This year

When He Called Me

Fw: Don't Panic! (A Glorietta2-Bombing-Experience)

In Search for the Perfect Lip and Cheek Tint

Prayer for the Right Person

Jude Sudario (1974-2007)

Diffuse

Wow Trinoma!

Shifting Gears

Cold

Indelible: Chronicles of my Election Adventures - Part Two

Indelible: Chronicles of my Election Adventures

A Good Reminder on What Should Matter

Irreplaceable

How to Spend a One Day Holiday

My Desk

Amici Last Weekend

Dear Rocky

Wednesdays at Amici di Don Bosco

Let's eat!

Detecting Blessings

Some quotes and thoughts

My Current Favorite Tunes

Love, Love, Love

Reminiscing my UP Diliman days

Wishful Thinking: Weekend Escapade

Lethargy

Thank You

Picky Fickle Buyer

Numbers

Plugged

!ssergorp yna gnikam ton ma I

Writing to be read. Writhing to be red.

iPod, iMac, iWant!

Feelings

Milenyo Storming In Metro Manila

Steering the wheel? Not me!

The Ahh in Spa

The Dirt Road

Making Every Word Tell

Amazing South Beach

A Glimpse of Jakarta

*Pause*

Quiet!!!

Bugs and Glitches

Going to Cheung Chau

Project Room Revival: Mission Accomplished!

Maghuhugas Kamay Ako!

Project Room Revival

FINALLY!!!

Save us from the Dementors

The Snaparazzi's* Back!

Music speaks

Pre-Valentine blues

The Eraser

Table 25

Techie gadgets gone awry

Pause